👀 Can't see the forest for the trees 🌲🌲🌲🌲

[vickieito]

I didn't really expect to be on the forum today, but somehow I found myself here. Then I came back (because that's what the forum does to you).

I "liked" a post.    I answered a question.

Then I answered more because it's so much easier to deal with other's problems than your own. 😊 Especially when you know the answer.

Several weeks ago, my husband (Jun) passed away very suddenly. Apparently, his aorta burst (due to AAA), so death was almost immediate. It was completely unexpected and was a huge shock to me and the kids. I wasn't prepared. I'm still not prepared. I'm still trying to process everything. I really don't know what to say, other than I'm going to miss him terribly.

I also didn't want to make this a sad post, because Jun never liked how sad people got when people died (he unfortunately lost many family members growing up). So I just wanted to resurrect these two, fun posts from last year that mentioned lessons that I learned from Jun. ⬇️

Jun was a big-picture kind of guy, while I'm more like the title of this post - I get laser-focused on what's in front of me and tend to lose sight of what's really important:

Jun always reminded me to take time to stop, be present, and enjoy the moment. He didn't like to put off "fun" today, for tomorrow (because tomorrow never comes). He also made me laugh every day - so hard that tears would come out and my belly would ache ... and the laughter would go silent because I was laughing that hard. 

Jun was also big on self-care and would call meetings to discuss it:

Self-care is something I often forget about it or procrastinate. I think we, as freelancers, tend to do that.  But it isn't worth it to jeopardize our health worrying about our seller stats, gig visibility, or monthly earnings. We will be better equipped to handle our orders if we do take the time for self-care.

Just being on the forum (after being away for several weeks) tells me there are others like me who are having a hard time "seeing the forest for the trees." It might be a good time for a priority check. Before life throws one at you.

Are you enjoying the moment (or just on survival mode)? Getting your daily dose of deep laughter (or just a small "heh")? Taking time for self-care (or hardly caring)?

Right now, I'm not really doing the three things mentioned above but I am carving out more quality time for my kids and those I love. I think that's a first step to getting my priorities right.

[priyank_mod]

12 minutes ago, vickieito said:

I didn't really expect to be on the forum today, but somehow I found myself here. Then I came back (because that's what the forum does to you).

I "liked" a post.    I answered a question.

Then I answered more because it's so much easier to deal with other's problems than your own. 😊 Especially when you know the answer.

Several weeks ago, my husband (Jun) passed away very suddenly. Apparently, his aorta burst (due to AAA), so death was almost immediate. It was completely unexpected and was a huge shock to me and the kids. I wasn't prepared. I'm still not prepared. I'm still trying to process everything. I really don't know what to say, other than I'm going to miss him terribly.

I also didn't want to make this a sad post, because Jun never liked how sad people got when people died (he unfortunately lost many family members growing up). So I just wanted to resurrect these two, fun posts from last year that mentioned lessons that I learned from Jun. ⬇️

Jun was a big-picture kind of guy, while I'm more like the title of this post - I get laser-focused on what's in front of me and tend to lose sight of what's really important:

Jun always reminded me to take time to stop, be present, and enjoy the moment. He didn't like to put off "fun" today, for tomorrow (because tomorrow never comes). He also made me laugh every day - so hard that tears would come out and my belly would ache ... and the laughter would go silent because I was laughing that hard. 

Jun was also big on self-care and would call meetings to discuss it:

Self-care is something I often forget about it or procrastinate. I think we, as freelancers, tend to do that.  But it isn't worth it to jeopardize our health worrying about our seller stats, gig visibility, or monthly earnings. We will be better equipped to handle our orders if we do take the time for self-care.

Just being on the forum (after being away for several weeks) tells me there are others like me who are having a hard time "seeing the forest for the trees." It might be a good time for a priority check. Before life throws one at you.

Are you enjoying the moment (or just on survival mode)? Getting your daily dose of deep laughter (or just a small "heh")? Taking time for self-care (or hardly caring)?

Right now, I'm not really doing the three things mentioned above but I am carving out more quality time for my kids and those I love. I think that's a first step to getting my priorities right.

Sending strength and prayers your way @vickieito. I sincerely hope you and the kids will find love and strength to cope with the loss. 

PS beautifully crafted posted. ❤️‍🩹

[sripra9007]

22 minutes ago, vickieito said:

I didn't really expect to be on the forum today, but somehow I found myself here. Then I came back (because that's what the forum does to you).

I "liked" a post.    I answered a question.

Then I answered more because it's so much easier to deal with other's problems than your own. 😊 Especially when you know the answer.

Several weeks ago, my husband (Jun) passed away very suddenly. Apparently, his aorta burst (due to AAA), so death was almost immediate. It was completely unexpected and was a huge shock to me and the kids. I wasn't prepared. I'm still not prepared. I'm still trying to process everything. I really don't know what to say, other than I'm going to miss him terribly.

I also didn't want to make this a sad post, because Jun never liked how sad people got when people died (he unfortunately lost many family members growing up). So I just wanted to resurrect these two, fun posts from last year that mentioned lessons that I learned from Jun. ⬇️

Jun was a big-picture kind of guy, while I'm more like the title of this post - I get laser-focused on what's in front of me and tend to lose sight of what's really important:

Jun always reminded me to take time to stop, be present, and enjoy the moment. He didn't like to put off "fun" today, for tomorrow (because tomorrow never comes). He also made me laugh every day - so hard that tears would come out and my belly would ache ... and the laughter would go silent because I was laughing that hard. 

Jun was also big on self-care and would call meetings to discuss it:

Self-care is something I often forget about it or procrastinate. I think we, as freelancers, tend to do that.  But it isn't worth it to jeopardize our health worrying about our seller stats, gig visibility, or monthly earnings. We will be better equipped to handle our orders if we do take the time for self-care.

Just being on the forum (after being away for several weeks) tells me there are others like me who are having a hard time "seeing the forest for the trees." It might be a good time for a priority check. Before life throws one at you.

Are you enjoying the moment (or just on survival mode)? Getting your daily dose of deep laughter (or just a small "heh")? Taking time for self-care (or hardly caring)?

Right now, I'm not really doing the three things mentioned above but I am carving out more quality time for my kids and those I love. I think that's a first step to getting my priorities right.

My sincere sympathies and condolences on the loss of your husband. May God give you & the family strength to bear this sorrow. Take care.

[smartdezigns]

31 minutes ago, vickieito said:

I didn't really expect to be on the forum today, but somehow I found myself here. Then I came back (because that's what the forum does to you).

I "liked" a post.    I answered a question.

Then I answered more because it's so much easier to deal with other's problems than your own. 😊 Especially when you know the answer.

Several weeks ago, my husband (Jun) passed away very suddenly. Apparently, his aorta burst (due to AAA), so death was almost immediate. It was completely unexpected and was a huge shock to me and the kids. I wasn't prepared. I'm still not prepared. I'm still trying to process everything. I really don't know what to say, other than I'm going to miss him terribly.

I also didn't want to make this a sad post, because Jun never liked how sad people got when people died (he unfortunately lost many family members growing up). So I just wanted to resurrect these two, fun posts from last year that mentioned lessons that I learned from Jun. ⬇️

Jun was a big-picture kind of guy, while I'm more like the title of this post - I get laser-focused on what's in front of me and tend to lose sight of what's really important:

Jun always reminded me to take time to stop, be present, and enjoy the moment. He didn't like to put off "fun" today, for tomorrow (because tomorrow never comes). He also made me laugh every day - so hard that tears would come out and my belly would ache ... and the laughter would go silent because I was laughing that hard. 

Jun was also big on self-care and would call meetings to discuss it:

Self-care is something I often forget about it or procrastinate. I think we, as freelancers, tend to do that.  But it isn't worth it to jeopardize our health worrying about our seller stats, gig visibility, or monthly earnings. We will be better equipped to handle our orders if we do take the time for self-care.

Just being on the forum (after being away for several weeks) tells me there are others like me who are having a hard time "seeing the forest for the trees." It might be a good time for a priority check. Before life throws one at you.

Are you enjoying the moment (or just on survival mode)? Getting your daily dose of deep laughter (or just a small "heh")? Taking time for self-care (or hardly caring)?

Right now, I'm not really doing the three things mentioned above but I am carving out more quality time for my kids and those I love. I think that's a first step to getting my priorities right.

I am truly sorry for your huge loss 😭 My Condolences to you and family as well. Stay Strong even though it's a difficult phase but you have to be strong for your kids and family! 

[michmikaia]

43 minutes ago, vickieito said:

I didn't really expect to be on the forum today, but somehow I found myself here. Then I came back (because that's what the forum does to you).

I "liked" a post.    I answered a question.

Then I answered more because it's so much easier to deal with other's problems than your own. 😊 Especially when you know the answer.

Several weeks ago, my husband (Jun) passed away very suddenly. Apparently, his aorta burst (due to AAA), so death was almost immediate. It was completely unexpected and was a huge shock to me and the kids. I wasn't prepared. I'm still not prepared. I'm still trying to process everything. I really don't know what to say, other than I'm going to miss him terribly.

I also didn't want to make this a sad post, because Jun never liked how sad people got when people died (he unfortunately lost many family members growing up). So I just wanted to resurrect these two, fun posts from last year that mentioned lessons that I learned from Jun. ⬇️

Jun was a big-picture kind of guy, while I'm more like the title of this post - I get laser-focused on what's in front of me and tend to lose sight of what's really important:

Jun always reminded me to take time to stop, be present, and enjoy the moment. He didn't like to put off "fun" today, for tomorrow (because tomorrow never comes). He also made me laugh every day - so hard that tears would come out and my belly would ache ... and the laughter would go silent because I was laughing that hard. 

Jun was also big on self-care and would call meetings to discuss it:

Self-care is something I often forget about it or procrastinate. I think we, as freelancers, tend to do that.  But it isn't worth it to jeopardize our health worrying about our seller stats, gig visibility, or monthly earnings. We will be better equipped to handle our orders if we do take the time for self-care.

Just being on the forum (after being away for several weeks) tells me there are others like me who are having a hard time "seeing the forest for the trees." It might be a good time for a priority check. Before life throws one at you.

Are you enjoying the moment (or just on survival mode)? Getting your daily dose of deep laughter (or just a small "heh")? Taking time for self-care (or hardly caring)?

Right now, I'm not really doing the three things mentioned above but I am carving out more quality time for my kids and those I love. I think that's a first step to getting my priorities right.

I am sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathy goes to you and your family. 

[filipdevaere]

I am sorry for your loss.

My condolences to you and your family.

[seoswiftcreate]

If a person was so wonderful that his actions and words mentioned by another person can inspire many, such a person if ever there is afterlife will be a highly regarded figure. Indeed we all go through weak moments in life and still put up a brave face. It takes courage to write what you have written, but it was important as I felt a sense of optimism reading about Jun's words that you mentioned. 

Again if there is a world beyond what we know and if Jun's there I seek his blessings and pay my highest regards.

[teramangala]

My sincere condelences.

(We didin't talk on the forum, but I read a lot of your posts) 😘

[breals]

@vickieito  I am so genuinely sorry for your loss

Sending you a huge virtual hug from across the pond.   

xx

[leannelrivers]

@vickieito My heartfelt condolences, I'm so sorry for the sudden loss of your husband Jun. Much love to you and your family. 

[mae_creativity]

7 hours ago, vickieito said:

really don't know what to say, other than I'm going to miss him terribly.

Oh Vickie. . . I don't know what to say either. . . 

7 hours ago, vickieito said:

I also didn't want to make this a sad post, because Jun never liked how sad people got when people died

That's the way your husband wants it to be, so when you're ready for this, I'm here to join you in celebrating his life by sharing all the wonderful memories of him. I'm entirely sure that there are A LOT of us here thinking the same thing. 

I 've gotten to know you over the years here in the forum, and so whenever I see your name (simply your name--before even reading anything you write), I get a good feeling, and it makes me happy. You are warm, kind, funny, and smart.  And I'm sure Jun was a wonderful person like you, because people usually get together with others who are like themselves.   

I will now read the posts you shared.

Warm, warm hugs to you and to your children. The only way out is through, and it's OK to feel sad while you're going through.  Feeling bad about feeling bad, just makes it worse. Plus it doesn't even help. I promise that after a while, this level of sadness will go away. 

How old are your three kids? I want to send them each something little in the mail.

Please let me know if that's OK with you. If it is, I'll contact Fiverr CS and request permission to have you send me a message with your address. 

🌻Maytal

Edited September 27, 2023 by mae_creativity

[rabihumakhan]

I'm so sorry for this huge loss of yours, @vikieito! I am sure you'll carry on his legacy and make yours and your kids' life comfortable and beautiful. If I can remember correctly, you mentioned that your husband was in another country in some of your posts. Did you get a chance to meet him recently? 

I lost my father in 2015 and I couldn't manage to be normal for months. I thought it was the grief that was taking me back. The emptiness within was something that made me try suicide but as I'm a coward woman by nature, I couldn't attempt it. 

 

However, during different therapy sessions for my niece, I got to know that I'm also autistic like her. 

It shattered me but also answered so many questions that I carried for years. 

Why I don't feel the way others do? Why it's harder for me to connect with people? 

Why I find it hard to keep myself calm in huge settings? Why I don't like to attend the parties? Why life is different for me? 

We all do have our shares of griefs and uncertainties; however, the one who overcomes those griefs and uncertainties shall be the victorious one. 

 

Sending you hugs. ❤

[grayprogrammerz]

7 hours ago, vickieito said:

I didn't really expect to be on the forum today, but somehow I found myself here. Then I came back (because that's what the forum does to you).

I "liked" a post.    I answered a question.

Then I answered more because it's so much easier to deal with other's problems than your own. 😊 Especially when you know the answer.

Several weeks ago, my husband (Jun) passed away very suddenly. Apparently, his aorta burst (due to AAA), so death was almost immediate. It was completely unexpected and was a huge shock to me and the kids. I wasn't prepared. I'm still not prepared. I'm still trying to process everything. I really don't know what to say, other than I'm going to miss him terribly.

I also didn't want to make this a sad post, because Jun never liked how sad people got when people died (he unfortunately lost many family members growing up). So I just wanted to resurrect these two, fun posts from last year that mentioned lessons that I learned from Jun. ⬇️

Jun was a big-picture kind of guy, while I'm more like the title of this post - I get laser-focused on what's in front of me and tend to lose sight of what's really important:

Jun always reminded me to take time to stop, be present, and enjoy the moment. He didn't like to put off "fun" today, for tomorrow (because tomorrow never comes). He also made me laugh every day - so hard that tears would come out and my belly would ache ... and the laughter would go silent because I was laughing that hard. 

Jun was also big on self-care and would call meetings to discuss it:

Self-care is something I often forget about it or procrastinate. I think we, as freelancers, tend to do that.  But it isn't worth it to jeopardize our health worrying about our seller stats, gig visibility, or monthly earnings. We will be better equipped to handle our orders if we do take the time for self-care.

Just being on the forum (after being away for several weeks) tells me there are others like me who are having a hard time "seeing the forest for the trees." It might be a good time for a priority check. Before life throws one at you.

Are you enjoying the moment (or just on survival mode)? Getting your daily dose of deep laughter (or just a small "heh")? Taking time for self-care (or hardly caring)?

Right now, I'm not really doing the three things mentioned above but I am carving out more quality time for my kids and those I love. I think that's a first step to getting my priorities right.

I guess in previous years, I heard news of your marriage. and this year, a sad news. Unfortunately relationship was that longer. I also lost my brother in previous months, he appears in dreams,making pain again,unforgettable... Please accept condolences and very sorry for your loss.

 

About enjoying, every week I do changes in timings to prevent myself getting bore. I also don't work 12h at once. I have random gaps, like jogging, dinner, bath, visiting friends... Because money can just pay my bills, it can't make me laugh or happier.

 

Again really sorry for JUN. Hope time will pass away

[sunboatrecords]

I am very sorry for your loss, @vickieito.

Such things are beyond words.

I wish you and your kids endless strength and courage to move forward.

 

[shahidfreelanc]

I am very sorry for your huge loss. Stay patient and strong for your kids. God bless you.

[cc_animation]

My condoleances. From your post I can tell he was a kind and inspiring man. Indeed, we should take time for ourselves and enjoy the moment, especially us freelancers (who tend to sometimes get tangled up in all these projects and deadlines).

I wish you and your family strength to cope with the terrible loss!

[sojib_shimul]

16 hours ago, vickieito said:

I didn't really expect to be on the forum today, but somehow I found myself here. Then I came back (because that's what the forum does to you).

I "liked" a post.    I answered a question.

Then I answered more because it's so much easier to deal with other's problems than your own. 😊 Especially when you know the answer.

Several weeks ago, my husband (Jun) passed away very suddenly. Apparently, his aorta burst (due to AAA), so death was almost immediate. It was completely unexpected and was a huge shock to me and the kids. I wasn't prepared. I'm still not prepared. I'm still trying to process everything. I really don't know what to say, other than I'm going to miss him terribly.

I also didn't want to make this a sad post, because Jun never liked how sad people got when people died (he unfortunately lost many family members growing up). So I just wanted to resurrect these two, fun posts from last year that mentioned lessons that I learned from Jun. ⬇️

Jun was a big-picture kind of guy, while I'm more like the title of this post - I get laser-focused on what's in front of me and tend to lose sight of what's really important:

Jun always reminded me to take time to stop, be present, and enjoy the moment. He didn't like to put off "fun" today, for tomorrow (because tomorrow never comes). He also made me laugh every day - so hard that tears would come out and my belly would ache ... and the laughter would go silent because I was laughing that hard. 

Jun was also big on self-care and would call meetings to discuss it:

Self-care is something I often forget about it or procrastinate. I think we, as freelancers, tend to do that.  But it isn't worth it to jeopardize our health worrying about our seller stats, gig visibility, or monthly earnings. We will be better equipped to handle our orders if we do take the time for self-care.

Just being on the forum (after being away for several weeks) tells me there are others like me who are having a hard time "seeing the forest for the trees." It might be a good time for a priority check. Before life throws one at you.

Are you enjoying the moment (or just on survival mode)? Getting your daily dose of deep laughter (or just a small "heh")? Taking time for self-care (or hardly caring)?

Right now, I'm not really doing the three things mentioned above but I am carving out more quality time for my kids and those I love. I think that's a first step to getting my priorities right.

My sincere condolences.

[sabinespoems]

Sweet and kind Vickie, for the past few days my thoughts have often drifted towards you and your family's direction. I wish you all so much strength and love.

Like everybody else I was at a loss for words when reading your news. I think @mae_creativitysummed it up perfectly, both about reading your name and the positive vibes that come with it, as well as us being here to hear all of your memories of Jun and the 'lessons' you learned from him whenever you're ready.

Grief has no handbook or timetable. I hope you can find your way through the forest with your children close by your side ❤️

[newsmike]

@vickieito  Such sad news, I'm so sorry. I wish you healing and the strength to get your kids through it all.  

[vickiespencer]

@vickieito, even after hearing about your loss weeks ago, I am still deeply saddened by the news of your family's loss. It sounds like Jun was a wonderful man. Thank you for sharing some of his wisdom—blessings to you and your family. 

[catwriter]

I'm so sorry for your loss, @vickieito. It sounds like he was a wonderful man.

[markp]

@vickieito my condolences to you & your children.

[Alex.M]

So sorry for your loss 😔 

[coerdelion]

Very sorry to see this Vicky - a devastating loss for you and your family.  You're in my thoughts

[vickieito]

I keep trying to respond to specific messages but keep deleting everything I'm writing. 

Sorry - I really do appreciate all of your kind words! It makes me happy to read so many heartfelt messages from all of you! I also love the hugs and 💗 that you sent my way!

I know that I'm not the only one who is going through hard times, so thank you @grayprogrammerz and @rabihumakhan for sharing your experiences, too. My heart goes out you for the loss of your brother and father. It makes me sad to see your pain and suffering, too. You're both really strong.

I'll try to respond to a few comments in the next post, but I wanted to thank all of you for your support here. 💗💗💗