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We’ve Got to Take Care of Ourselves!


vickieito
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Yesterday, my husband called me to an emergency, closed-door meeting. No kids allowed. I was curious why he called the meeting.

Sitting down beside his desk, I glanced at his dual-monitors and noticed all the articles and images pulled up for men’s 40+ styles and hair guides for those with graying hair.

“Vickie,” he announced, “We’re no longer young like we used to be. Gone are the days of no maintenance. We’ve got to take care of ourselves!” True, we are both aging Asians. My husband hit the magic 4-0 number a couple of months ago and I hit that magic number almost a year ago.

He then proceeded to go over facts and statistics regarding hair, skincare, dress, and overall health. He showed pictures of people who were aging well (as well as shocking pictures of people who were not). It was a fun meeting and I appreciate how my husband always reminds me to take better care of myself He’s the best.

Hair. I don’t have any gray hair…yet. I am looking into different, layered hairstyles instead of wearing my hair up in a bun all the time. My husband had his first white hair when he was 9 years old. So right now, he’s trying to transition to his natural gray color. I’m sure my gray hairs will start popping out any time now and my 13-year-old son will be the first person to tell me about them.

Skincare. Skincare was a big topic on our meeting. My husband has great skin. He uses different things for his skin in the morning and night and even bought me some skincare products. He has reiterated to me on numerous occasions that great skin is the key to youth. I’m making slow progress there. I used to use the same soap for my face and body. Now I use face wash. I haven’t been using the skincare products he bought me. So I’ll try to be more diligent there.

Dress. Style was another topic of discussion. Last week, my husband found me lounging about the apartment in his shorts (they were very comfortable by the way). Later that day he took me for a long walk. I thought it was a nice date, alone time with just me and him. But actually he was walking me to UNIQLO so that I could buy and wear my own clothes. 😂

I do need to dress better. I’m a creature of comfort. I got married in a muumuu and demanded that we have an all-you-can-eat kalua pork dinner buffet at our Hawaiian wedding. I’ll start by taking @smashradio's advice to at least start dressing up for work. I’ll also try to develop a better sense of style. My husband will be the judge. I do want to be beautiful for him. He’s the only person I want to dress to impress.

Overall Health. Healthwise, I know I’m not a young’un anymore. I take afternoon sietas. I gain weight just thinking about food. I make noises as I ease into and out of chairs. My 9-year-old daughter thinks I’m hilarious and joking all the time, but I’m not. I really am starting to feel my age.

I have shape, but not necessarily the shape I want. So I do need to take care of my health and fit again. Mental health wise, I need to follow my husband’s example.

In the morning, he wakes up and meditates.

...I wake up and check the forum. 😂

I’ve got to make some important life changes if I plan on growing old with him.

Anyone else trying to age gracefully? How are you taking care of yourself?

Edited by vickieito
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So... I'll start with saying that I'm still in my late twenties... but the 5 years-ish that I spent abroad really messed with my body (and honestly, head, but that is for another topic!

I didn't really realise at the time because I was basically in survival mode working a job that was wrecking me. (think - when I lost weight wasn't because I wanted to but because I had little to eat.)

Now, fastforward to now, me living a very comfy lifestyle, sort of... starting the 'clean-up'. There's actual health issues I need to get looked into (and again this summer, I was basically sick on and off which is not fun..) but also just starting to try and be kinder to myself. Not necessarily because I'm getting old but because I got 'old' while I was chasing dreams that weren't meant for me. 

I started splurging on cute clothes, getting my hair done every once in a while and things like that, not for my partner necessarily (though he appreciates it :P) but to feel good - and it really works. 

I think what I'm hoping to do now is to sort of... prevent myself from growing old too quickly! I'm trying to eat healthier (which is, to be fair, somewhat hard but doable). Just kickstarted the debate over having homemade lunch over microwaved food (especially when going outside to the offices I work from.) I'm thinking simple stuff like spring rolls, wraps, etc. yesterday made a rice bowl with an egg and some leftover veg. Simple but fresh, which can't be said about microwave meals, though they hit the spot on days it's too hot outside.

Anyway, the point of my rambling is that while I can't reverse the damage I did to myself before, there's plenty of time to at least stop anything else from happening. 

(by the way, I love this post for some reason - really made me reflect a bit, even if I'm not quite the target audience of it!) 

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4 minutes ago, katakatica said:

So... I'll start with saying that I'm still in my late twenties...

(by the way, I love this post for some reason - really made me reflect a bit, even if I'm not quite the target audience of it!) 

@katakatica, thanks for responding to this post! I was hoping to get feedback from the younger generation as well! We're never too young or old to start taking care of our health (and we all are getting older every day).

5 minutes ago, katakatica said:

 the 5 years-ish that I spent abroad really messed with my body (and honestly, head, but that is for another topic!

I didn't really realise at the time because I was basically in survival mode working a job that was wrecking me. (think - when I lost weight wasn't because I wanted to but because I had little to eat.) ...

Anyway, the point of my rambling is that while I can't reverse the damage I did to myself before, there's plenty of time to at least stop anything else from happening. 

I've done a lot of damage to myself too, from freelancing. I believed in the 24/7 myth and after 2 months with only 70 hours of sleep, I ended up in the hospital. That was the first time in my life ever being "sick." I've never had a sick day at work and I think the last sick day I had as a kid was when I was 12 years old. I hate hospitals. I'm never going to do that to myself again. You're young, so I think you'll bounce back quicker than me!

15 minutes ago, katakatica said:

Now, fastforward to now, me living a very comfy lifestyle, sort of... starting the 'clean-up'. There's actual health issues I need to get looked into (and again this summer, I was basically sick on and off which is not fun..) but also just starting to try and be kinder to myself. Not necessarily because I'm getting old but because I got 'old' while I was chasing dreams that weren't meant for me. 

I started splurging on cute clothes, getting my hair done every once in a while and things like that, not for my partner necessarily (though he appreciates it :P) but to feel good - and it really works. 

I think what I'm hoping to do now is to sort of... prevent myself from growing old too quickly! I'm trying to eat healthier (which is, to be fair, somewhat hard but doable). Just kickstarted the debate over having homemade lunch over microwaved food (especially when going outside to the offices I work from.) I'm thinking simple stuff like spring rolls, wraps, etc. yesterday made a rice bowl with an egg and some leftover veg. Simple but fresh, which can't be said about microwave meals, though they hit the spot on days it's too hot outside.

I love your hair! I'm also going to have to experiment with cute clothes, too. I've also never tried make-up before, so that might be fun. And I'm doing Oisix (Japan's version of Hello, Fresh) to learn how to cook up some good Japanese dishes.

I agree that it shouldn't just be for my husband, it has to be for me, too! Thanks for all your comments - I always learn a lot from you!

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30 minutes ago, vickieito said:

to learn how to cook up some good Japanese dishes.

Honestly, I'm super curious about the type of dishes that would offer! I just picked up some Japanese curry cubes (I know, not necessarily healthy!) but would love to make something yum with them soon. I made beef soup from scratch for the first time on Monday (I was sick, so I thought like it'd help) - messed up the spicing but there's definitely lots of potential to the dish! 
 

Thanks for the compliment on the hair! Finally getting it redyed on Friday - same-ish colours but maybe some extra...silver, actually 😛 
 

32 minutes ago, vickieito said:

I've done a lot of damage to myself too, from freelancing. I

I think sometimes when we get really into something, we forget about everything else - and that's terrifying. I remember two summers ago I basically worked 24/7 (as in, was on call during the night even when sleeping, if something happened to the kids, I was in charge, etc.) and at the time I thought that was totally fine. 

I did tackle freelancing exactly the same as well - which probably didn't help in the long run, but... I think what matters is that we realize what's going on, right? It takes time to heal but that's fine (though being hospitalized sounds terrifying in any circumstance!)

35 minutes ago, vickieito said:

I agree that it shouldn't just be for my husband, it has to be for me, too! Thanks for all your comments - I always learn a lot from you!

I'm glad - and honestly, I learn a lot from you as well! 

 

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2 hours ago, vickieito said:

I make noises as I ease into and out of chairs

With you on this one for sure! Same when I get into bed.... 'ahhhh bed is so good'.

I started getting a few greys a couple of years back and now by stubble is becoming 'salt and pepper'- it's distinguished though isn't it? Isn't it!?!?

Something positive is that I've started eating healthier, I feel much better for it, have more energy etc. Problem is I LOVE my food. It's almost a hobby. 

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Well this is refreshingly different to 'my gig impressions are down'  Great post @vickieito  

I guess since Covid, we can all be accused of forgetting about ourselves and focussing on the people with the greater need.  The problem is that this has effectively wiped out 3 years of everyone's lives. If we didn't go out, then we didn't buy new clothes, and with hairdressers being closed during lockdown in the UK my wife must have thought I looked like a proper hippie.  But, what the pandemic did do was try to make everyone more healthy.  I for one thought, if I'm healthy then I won't get ill, and to an extent this kind of allowed me to change my lifestyle.  I even went for regular walks and took regular breaks. 

However, as Covid has subsided (let's hope that doesn't change) I find myself reverting back to old habits.  A cheeky takeaway and beer once a week, becomes twice a week, breaks are few and far between and my daily walk is to the fridge. So actually I am back to where I was pre-covid with a 3 year older body.  

I agree with @katakatica  this is kind of a reflective post, and it has made me think about the hours I work, the food I throw in my belly and whether at 44 years old, how sustainable it is?  

In 2022 we no longer live in a 9-5 world (If we ever have) , but that doesn't mean we have to work like idiots, and think its all about our next gig. Apparently there is a world outside our offices and work areas. 😀

Edited by breals
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11 hours ago, vickieito said:

Anyone else trying to age gracefully? How are you taking care of yourself?

I can say that I AM trying to age somewhat gracefully.
While I do enjoy eating junk food/unhealthy stuff ( like tonkotsu ramen and tempura, yakiniku etc etc, you know how food is in Japan)  every now and then,
I do drink but not that much, I go to the gym once a week, during lockdown I took walks. I still ended up gaining 4 pounds or so, but after working out
I'm back to my previous weight. I think I get enough sleeping time too.
My skin looks OK overall, my hair is VERY strong and thick and my hairdresser calls it the "shimenawa rope of the Izumo Shrine" (if you guys don't know what I'm talking about, you can Google it), and I guess it's the Asian genes but I do look younger than my age.

Still, I do see some gray hair poking out every now and then ( when you have black hair it reaaaallly stands out), and I'm not 18 years old anymore where I can workout and lose weight right away.
Aside from eating/sleeping/somewhat working out, my secret to staying healthy and taking care of myself is to laugh.
Not joking, I'm serious. Laugh out loud.

I make sure to watch a funny Youtube video or something before I go to sleep, laugh out loud, and go to sleep in a happy mood.
It works!

Edited by zeus777
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I am proud of the fact that I am ageing ...disgracefully! I eat what I like, with an eye for healthy living, but I'm not governed by it. I have however done a lot of exercise over the years and continue to do so - I still play 5 a side (soccer) twice, three times a week, so that definitely keeps the weight in check. But as for worrying about 'putting on a bit' here and there, turning grey, or losing my hair - nah, I don't worry about it!  

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19 minutes ago, fiveroptic1 said:

But as for worrying about 'putting on a bit' here and there

I admit, I have some "chub rolls" in my thigh area and I was having the hardest time trying to getting them off...and I've given up.
Right now my goal is to keep it the way it is, not add butter to those existing rolls! 🤣

I don't mind gray/white hair, but I want them to grow in a certain way.
If I can have those cool skunk-streaks in my bangs, that will look so awesome. But a strand here and a strand there...nah.
I know, I'm being picky!!

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2 hours ago, fiveroptic1 said:

I still play 5 a side (soccer) twice, three times a week

You pretty much need to eat what you like. That's a lot of activity! How long are your matches? Just go until dark, first to five points, standard 1.5h matches?

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13 hours ago, vickieito said:

Hair. I don’t have any gray hair…yet. I am looking into different, layered hairstyles instead of wearing my hair up in a bun all the time. My husband had his first white hair when he was 9 years old. So right now, he’s trying to transition to his natural gray color. I’m sure my gray hairs will start popping out any time now and my 13-year-old son will be the first person to tell me about them.

I rounded 33 the other day. Or was it 34? I can't remember. I must be in my declining years. Considering Omega 3 and my wife actually had a similar talk with me the other day and guess what I got for my birthday? Nike shorts, new sneakers, a t-shirt and weights. I'll take that to mean "you're getting fat, darling". The best part is that I can't just leave the weights in the garage, since they were a gift. My wife knows I would feel guilty if I did. 

13 hours ago, vickieito said:

Skincare. Skincare was a big topic on our meeting. My husband has great skin. He uses different things for his skin in the morning and night and even bought me some skincare products. He has reiterated to me on numerous occasions that great skin is the key to youth. I’m making slow progress there. I used to use the same soap for my face and body. Now I use face wash. I haven’t been using the skincare products he bought me. So I’ll try to be more diligent there.

I'm a man. I use engine grease and coffee grounds. (Actually, I swear by the products from Rituals. It's the only personal hygiene and skincare products you'll find in my house. It costs me like 500 bucks a month, but it's worth it.)

13 hours ago, vickieito said:

Dress. Style was another topic of discussion. Last week, my husband found me lounging about the apartment in his shorts (they were very comfortable by the way). Later that day he took me for a long walk. I thought it was a nice date, alone time with just me and him. But actually he was walking me to UNIQLO so that I could buy and wear my own clothes. 😂

 

You know me. Three piece suits at home. It's the clothes that make the man. 

13 hours ago, vickieito said:

 I’ll start by taking @smashradio's advice to at least start dressing up for work. I’ll also try to develop a better sense of style. 

It does wonders! You don't have to take it as far as I have, but feeling fresh and professional can affect your attitude, morale and emotional well-being a lot, particularly when you're working from home. 

13 hours ago, vickieito said:

Overall Health. Healthwise, I know I’m not a young’un anymore. I take afternoon sietas. I gain weight just thinking about food. I make noises as I ease into and out of chairs. My 9-year-old daughter thinks I’m hilarious and joking all the time, but I’m not. I really am starting to feel my age.

I haven't gotten to the afternoon siestas, yet, but I must admit it's been tempting to visit the couch for a catnap, ever since the covid hit me. 

I make dad-noises. 

13 hours ago, vickieito said:

In the morning, he wakes up and meditates.

...I wake up and check the forum. 😂

My morning routine consists of a way too hot shower, two cans of Monster, a double espresso, and responding to all the schmucks who still get up at 5 a.m. to bother aging sellers like myself. 

13 hours ago, vickieito said:

Anyone else trying to age gracefully? How are you taking care of yourself?

I quit drinking a few years ago. Never touch the stuff. Got enough when I owned a bar. Beyond that? Not much, but I better use them weights! 

10 hours ago, williambryan392 said:

'salt and pepper'- it's distinguished though isn't it? Isn't it!?!?

You're a most handsome and distinguished gentleman, my good sir. 

10 hours ago, breals said:

I find myself reverting back to old habits.  A cheeky takeaway and beer once a week, becomes twice a week, breaks are few and far between and my daily walk is to the fridge.

Uber Eats, Glovo, Door Dash – they ruined everything. If politicians were worried about our health, they would skip the covid lockdowns and start fining the woke brigade for telling people that fat = healthy. And I'm saying this as a guy with a rather large spare tire, who actually like my woman with some flab!

If the governments around the world told people to go out and excercise, take vitamin D and stop using apps like Door Dash, it would probably save a lot of lives. 

image.png.4c5119af3a9d5fe2b11d7c572a517a14.png

1 hour ago, zeus777 said:

I admit, I have some "chub rolls" 

I'm gonna take off at least 45 pounds before I'm happy. I can't give up, because I never started. 😂

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@moikchap, one hour each session - so it's a good workout. I'm in my 50s now, so I will probably have to cut back a bit soon! It's the recovery rate that's the thing - and what is leaving me as I get older. Some days, when I wake up in the mornings after a game, it takes me 1/2 an hour to cross the kitchen to make a coffee! :classic_laugh:
Thankfully though, being a VO artist and working from home, I don't have to struggle too much to get to work!! 

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12 minutes ago, smashradio said:

You know me. Three piece suits at home. It's the clothes that make the man. 

@smashradio  We have never met. But I now have this vision of you going full on 'Kingsman' every morning as you eat your morning toast.  Is there a special tailor that I should be aware of on this forum?  one with a secret handshake? and umbrellas that can shoot poison darts to people who ask about their gig impressions?

 

tenor.gif

Edited by breals
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What a great topic! I really enjoy the way that you write, too!

It can be hard to not keep my hair all confined in a bun when all I do is stay in my studio all day long and the only other living thing I see is my awesome cat--and maybe some wild pigs, pheasants, or dogs. That's if I step outside onto my porch.

Like many people, I've become 'fluffier' over the past two years, and one reason is that I was injured. But, I can't use that as an excuse anymore. I've buddied up with some people on Discord--of all places--and started doing yoga regularly again. I've missed it dearly, although it's really weird doing it with a different body! I want to be mobile when I get into my 50's, and the truth is that won't happen unless I'm disciplined and allow my body to do what it is designed to do.

I do take a lot of supplements--most notably amino acids and vitamins that help limit the impact of stress. They've helped in so many other ways. I've managed to not get sick for a very long time. They've also done wonders for my skin; I don't look my age.

I've always made sure to eat a lot of colors. 🙂 That's how I was raised, so it's an easy thing to continue to do. Now I need to eat less in general, because, like you, I'm finding that my 40's are a whole new chapter in life!

I make sure that I connect with people who are important to me on a regular basis. I do believe that human connection is linked to physical health.

What I need to do, though, is drink more water. I've always been bad at that.

 

Edited by mandyzines
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1 hour ago, breals said:

 

@smashradio  We have never met. But I now have this vision of you going full on 'Kingsman' every morning as you eat your morning toast.  Is there a special tailor that I should be aware of on this forum?  one with a secret handshake? and umbrellas that can shoot poison darts to people who ask about their gig impressions?

 

tenor.gif

Yes, but if I told you who he was, I would have to shoot you with my umbrella. 

In fact, that's not too far from the truth. I don't wear a tie at home, but other than that, I'm the kind of guy who's on a first name-basis with my tailor. 

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36 minutes ago, mandyzines said:

What I need to do, though, is drink more water. I've always been bad at that.

There's a technique for that! Simply drink 0,5L/a pint (or a mega pint, as Johnny Depp would call it) before each meal. It fills you up, reducing your calorie intake AND it hydrates you, all at once. All it takes is a 5-second-chug before every meal. That's 1,5 - 2 liters per day. Easy. 😄 

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59 minutes ago, smashradio said:

There's a technique for that! Simply drink 0,5L/a pint (or a mega pint, as Johnny Depp would call it) before each meal. It fills you up, reducing your calorie intake AND it hydrates you, all at once. All it takes is a 5-second-chug before every meal. That's 1,5 - 2 liters per day. Easy. 😄 

My grandfather, bless his soul, used to tell us to drink a glass of water when we were hungry!

Um, wasn't that Amber?

Edited by mandyzines
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2 hours ago, mandyzines said:

the only other living thing I see is my awesome cat

Love to see a pic of your awesome cat! (Or have you posted one before...? Oh well, I want to see more 😁)
During the lockdown my cat clearly enjoyed taking over my lap and using my foot as a pillow. It felt pretty good though. nice and fluffy.
I think having animals is another way to stay healthy.

BTW I want a weaponized umbrella too. Instead of bullets and darts, it shoots lightening from the tip and when I spin it around it produces M&Ms.
 

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1 hour ago, zeus777 said:

Love to see a pic of your awesome cat! (Or have you posted one before...? Oh well, I want to see more 😁)
During the lockdown my cat clearly enjoyed taking over my lap and using my foot as a pillow. It felt pretty good though. nice and fluffy.
I think having animals is another way to stay healthy.

BTW I want a weaponized umbrella too. Instead of bullets and darts, it shoots lightening from the tip and when I spin it around it produces M&Ms.
 

Patent that umbrella idea! Here's my assistant. He came to me during the first lockdown. I think you're right about fur babies keeping us healthy, potential allergies aside.

butsofhoney.jpg

Edited by mandyzines
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21 hours ago, vickieito said:

Yesterday, my husband called me to an emergency, closed-door meeting. No kids allowed. I was curious why he called the meeting.

Sitting down beside his desk, I glanced at his dual-monitors and noticed all the articles and images pulled up for men’s 40+ styles and hair guides for those with graying hair.

“Vickie,” he announced, “We’re no longer young like we used to be. Gone are the days of no maintenance. We’ve got to take care of ourselves!” True, we are both aging Asians. My husband hit the magic 4-0 number a couple of months ago and I hit that magic number almost a year ago.

He then proceeded to go over facts and statistics regarding hair, skincare, dress, and overall health. He showed pictures of people who were aging well (as well as shocking pictures of people who were not). It was a fun meeting and I appreciate how my husband always reminds me to take better care of myself He’s the best.

Hair. I don’t have any gray hair…yet. I am looking into different, layered hairstyles instead of wearing my hair up in a bun all the time. My husband had his first white hair when he was 9 years old. So right now, he’s trying to transition to his natural gray color. I’m sure my gray hairs will start popping out any time now and my 13-year-old son will be the first person to tell me about them.

Skincare. Skincare was a big topic on our meeting. My husband has great skin. He uses different things for his skin in the morning and night and even bought me some skincare products. He has reiterated to me on numerous occasions that great skin is the key to youth. I’m making slow progress there. I used to use the same soap for my face and body. Now I use face wash. I haven’t been using the skincare products he bought me. So I’ll try to be more diligent there.

Dress. Style was another topic of discussion. Last week, my husband found me lounging about the apartment in his shorts (they were very comfortable by the way). Later that day he took me for a long walk. I thought it was a nice date, alone time with just me and him. But actually he was walking me to UNIQLO so that I could buy and wear my own clothes. 😂

I do need to dress better. I’m a creature of comfort. I got married in a muumuu and demanded that we have an all-you-can-eat kalua pork dinner buffet at our Hawaiian wedding. I’ll start by taking @smashradio's advice to at least start dressing up for work. I’ll also try to develop a better sense of style. My husband will be the judge. I do want to be beautiful for him. He’s the only person I want to dress to impress.

Overall Health. Healthwise, I know I’m not a young’un anymore. I take afternoon sietas. I gain weight just thinking about food. I make noises as I ease into and out of chairs. My 9-year-old daughter thinks I’m hilarious and joking all the time, but I’m not. I really am starting to feel my age.

I have shape, but not necessarily the shape I want. So I do need to take care of my health and fit again. Mental health wise, I need to follow my husband’s example.

In the morning, he wakes up and meditates.

...I wake up and check the forum. 😂

I’ve got to make some important life changes if I plan on growing old with him.

Anyone else trying to age gracefully? How are you taking care of yourself?

This is a refreshing change of topic, and too true! I've neglected any hope of putting on make-up and my high heels have sat in my closet (untouched) for years now. I guess we don't notice these things without a 9-5 to commit to. It's awesome that you have a husband who's so diligent in watching out for your health. You two must make a good team!

If there's anything I've realized over my "work break" this last week, it's that I have the rest of my life to sit at home on the computer looking horrible; but my children will only be young and interested in hanging out with me for a few more years. That's time I can't get back; spend the time with your kids while you can!!!!

P.s. waking up to a Fiverr forum sounds like a horrible idea; waking up to the drama and others' problems. But, perhaps this is simply due to how much drama I've seen on here and would never want to wake to that drama myself. 

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9 hours ago, smashradio said:

I'm gonna take off at least 45 pounds before I'm happy.

I started using omad (one meal a day) a couple of years ago. I have little self control and can use food as a crutch when I'm stressed or bored. 

I don't do it constantly, but in spurts for a few weeks when my lack of self control gets the better of me. It does take some getting used to initially, but the benefits, in addition to the physical results is that it really helps with focus (no sugar highs or crashes) and also I just have more time because I'm not wondering about breakfast and lunch. I can enjoy a brilliant dinner of whatever I want, and I'm still in a calorie defecit.

I want to ask all the hair aficionados @zeus777, @vickieito, @katakatica and anyone else... what do you think about shampoo....? Ok hear me out... I've heard that hair starts cleaning itself after a couple of months. Agree, disagree?

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47 minutes ago, williambryan392 said:

hair starts cleaning itself after a couple of months.

Whuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut??
Sorry, never heard of that before. Where did you get that info?? I didn't know our bodies came with an auto self-hair-cleaning ability like that.
I always use shampoo, but there really isn't a particular brand I prefer. So far all the shampoos I've been using are working quite well for me.

Also @mandyzines that fluffy white fellow is TOO cute, love the way the tongue is sticking out and the face is smooshed!
Here's my fur monster btw.

Screenshot 2022-08-18 at 15-16-38 Z Ogawa(@zzzeus777) • Instagram写真と動画.png

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