Jump to content

Let's Create the Best Buyer Requests Ever

silberma1976

By silberma1976
in Casual Conversations

 Share

Recommended Posts

silberma1976 Enthusiast

silberma1976

Posted
Posted

I have applied to well over 5,000 buyer requests in my 5 years here. And I have seen some doozies. So, I wanted to put together the ultimate one (heavy sarcasm) with your help. Add to this perfect request in your reply.

I am looking for a 10,000-word article (Insert what you sell here) in two hours for $1. Only apply if you speak native English. Do not waste my time with high offers or if you do not know this niche (no niche is specified). To prove you have read the entire message, start your reply with the word Purple. Those who do not will be ignored. See my attachment for more information (nothing is attached). This could lead to more work if you are good. ONLY BID IF YOU CAN MEET THE PRICE. (Always something in all caps).

This is where you add to the perfect buyer request.

  • Like 15
Link to comment
Share on other sites
cyaxrex Proficient

cyaxrex

Posted
Posted

I haven’t looked at buyer requests for months. Now I just wandered over and saw this:

Arabic and English expert blogger, who can write above 1000 words and have an enough feedback about the business

The budget, of course, is $5.

And so that’s me done looking at buyer requests for another 6-months.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
cyaxrex Proficient

cyaxrex

Posted
Posted

Actually, I just found this gem:

funnybr.png.dc82530e25b5160fd947c09fbdb3cd56.png

I’m not going to dare post more than that even in screenshot form. (It gets a bit more explicit.) However, if you are female and passionate about er… You know what, you can now get paid $85 for 30 "confession stories."

That’s $2.83 per 300-500 words for 30 articles that probably wouldn’t make grandma very proud.

  • Like 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites
n4y33m Apprentice

n4y33m

Posted
Posted

I have applied to well over 5,000 buyer requests in my 5 years here. And I have seen some doozies. So, I wanted to put together the ultimate one (heavy sarcasm) with your help. Add to this perfect request in your reply.

I am looking for a 10,000-word article (Insert what you sell here) in two hours for $1. Only apply if you speak native English. Do not waste my time with high offers or if you do not know this niche (no niche is specified). To prove you have read the entire message, start your reply with the word Purple. Those who do not will be ignored. See my attachment for more information (nothing is attached). This could lead to more work if you are good. ONLY BID IF YOU CAN MEET THE PRICE. (Always something in all caps).

This is where you add to the perfect buyer request.

10,000-word article (Insert what you sell here) in two hours for $1.

I’m out of words just remembering what I usually see in BR and close the tab immediately.

giphy.gif.24ed47d3cd99d3b565b0b736b67034de.gif

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
elise_arps Newbie

elise_arps

Posted
Posted

Actually, I just found this gem:

funnybr

I’m not going to dare post more than that even in screenshot form. (It gets a bit more explicit.) However, if you are female and passionate about er… You know what, you can now get paid $85 for 30 "confession stories."

That’s $2.83 per 300-500 words for 30 articles that probably wouldn’t make grandma very proud.

I saw that buyer request. That was an interesting one.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
imagination7413 Grand Master

imagination7413

Posted
Posted

Actually, I just found this gem:

funnybr

I’m not going to dare post more than that even in screenshot form. (It gets a bit more explicit.) However, if you are female and passionate about er… You know what, you can now get paid $85 for 30 "confession stories."

That’s $2.83 per 300-500 words for 30 articles that probably wouldn’t make grandma very proud.

PLEASE tell me there were no submitted offers. (Actually, no. Don’t answer that. I know the only current way to report BR is to submit an offer in order to get the profile. So I’ll keep the transparent blindfold, thanks.)

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
miiila Grand Master

miiila

Posted
Posted

This is where you add to the perfect buyer request.

I will test you with a small task.

Also a classic: no hint whatsoever about how many words of what you’re supposed to deliver for that $5 within an hour or 24.

Oh, and: “Translation needed” (Which language? Who cares! Apparently not the 30 odd bidders.)

And then, there are these “BRs” …

DescriptionWriting is a medium of human communication that represents language with and symbols. For languages that utilize a writing system, inscriptions can complement spoken language by creating a durable version of speech that can be stored for future reference or transmitted across distance.

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites
vanessaexpert Newbie

vanessaexpert

Posted
Posted

oh.my. GOD

It’s legit crazy how they expect someone to do basically really hard work for no money at all or the ahem “promise” to work in their company…eventually. I really hope nobody applied for those.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
cyaxrex Proficient

cyaxrex

Posted
Posted

I sincerely hope that all of these people are put in a position where they have to work for $5 for the amount of work they want at some point.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
imagination7413 Grand Master

imagination7413

Posted
Posted

This actually reminds me of that assistant job ad that circulated awhile back -

76ee27e6760a1b3c187d3527cf636bb9097c9357.pngMashable – 10 Aug 17

b6301cc61180623b65036247cc799b3ab39813aa_2_690x362.png

Ridiculously specific job posting will make you appreciate your crappy job

'You're cool hipster but don't wear the super tight jeans that won't leave you room in your pockets to hold my dog's potty bags.'

… for $30 an hour?

I’d almost be tempted to apply, if only for the laughs. Email headline ‘fault’: I don’t like dogs.

Edit: I needed that. Hilarious read.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
vanessaexpert Newbie

vanessaexpert

Posted
Posted

… for $30 an hour?

I’d almost be tempted to apply, if only for the laughs. Email headline ‘fault’: I don’t like dogs.

Edit: I needed that. Hilarious read.

I want someone to do a dramatic reading of “THE SOLUTION”.

Would be a perfect monologue to do for auditions ala Misery or Fatal attraction.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
gwyneth_galvin Proficient

gwyneth_galvin

Posted
Posted

Screenshot_20191217-231915_Fiverr.thumb.jpg.275c33df015a9859dc9b6c65ee322643.jpg
Screenshot_20191217-231915_Fiverr1079×1687 297 KB

This person wants a voice actor to narrate THE METAMORPHOSIS and prepare it totally for Audible for $73 😂 I’m dying

For reference if you don’t do VOs - I would charge around $1,500 to start a project this size, and I am not by any means one of the most expensive sellers in my category.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
elise_arps Newbie

elise_arps

Posted
Posted

This person wants a voice actor to narrate THE METAMORPHOSIS and prepare it totally for Audible for $73 😂 I’m dying

For reference if you don’t do VOs - I would charge around $1,500 to start a project this size, and I am not by any means one of the most expensive sellers in my category.

Get a robot voice to read the book out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
rachealunion Newbie

rachealunion

Posted
Posted

I haven’t looked at buyer requests for months. Now I just wandered over and saw this:

Arabic and English expert blogger, who can write above 1000 words and have an enough feedback about the business

The budget, of course, is $5.

And so that’s me done looking at buyer requests for another 6-months.

whaaaaaat :rofl:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
gwyneth_galvin Proficient

gwyneth_galvin

Posted
Posted

I’m not sure what to think, should I be judging the one who made the offer or those who applied to that? :woman_facepalming:

IMG_20191217_2234481080×1019 113 KB

100% the person who made the request. They are taking advantage of desperate sellers. That’s awful. I just hope that the requests sent are for over their budget.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...