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Hey You--Are You A Fat Freelance Slob Shovelling Junk Food Into Your Mouth?

emmaki

By emmaki
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emeraldawnn Enthusiast

emeraldawnn

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The bane of my existence for losing weight is peanut butter. I could eat it by the tons. I had to invest in some PB2 to ensure I didn’t go overboard too much. With the beautiful weather we’re supposed to have today, I have plans to make it to the park and walk the 3-mile trail. I’d love to jog it BUT don’t think I’ll have the energy after I put in a grueling 5.5 hours at work today, making the ham and cheese pockets and corn dogs and then cleaning off tables, sweeping and mopping the floors 3 times.

In fact, to avoid the junk food altogether (and PB), I need to stay out of the house. It’ll be one of those days.

This morning’s breakfast is going to consist of a healthy banana shake with peanut butter and unsweetened cocoa. My favorite go to healthy shake. Maybe I won’t be hungry until our lunch time at 10:30…

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capitalquality Contributor

capitalquality

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Then it’s time to join the Fiverr Weight Loss Club (And Get Into The Blog And Mek Sells, Complicating Your Dedication To Weight Loss).

I am still working on a catchier title than this. Anyway, before you shriek with outrage that I’ve just called you a wobbling mass of greedy fat, stop. I am, too! I put more cheese on my store bought pizza because I like cheese.

I’m also getting a little bit flabby, and having to consider purchasing larger clothes to comfortably wear this summer. Or, being a cheapskate, I can just eat less crap and more rabbit food, pretend I love exercise and do all that stuff instead.

Writer, dealing with your comment on another thread, yes, I know my nutrition. There’s virtually no junk food here, I’m just too busy/lazy to cook properly. [EDIT: now I read it, you do know that weight loss is 80% diet, 20% exercise? That’s wut the gurus say–as do I when I write their words of wisdom for them–truely, it is recieved wisdom. Maybe it’s in the macros, but whatever]

So, I say starting in March, Fiverr Fatsos can unite and become “doers” (ugh–but hey, let’s remember the blog spot). So sign up here. It’s time to slim and sexy.

Before and after photos not mandatory, but you know that the blog will eat that shit right up. So, your call. Good news is that it’s generally acceptable to cover your face in the online world of weightloss, so if you do want to maximize your chances… get that flab out.

Thin, beautiful people: just you wait until your metabolism goes and/or your country gets the western lifestyle.

Anyway. I announce this to be the official post. Join if ye will. No money required, No weird competitions, no shitty campaigns on social media. Just… whatever. Let’s be the fittest, most svelte freelancers on the planet.

But not now. Next week.

But not now. Next week.

Perpetually.

…

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capitalquality Contributor

capitalquality

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Running is just so boring though and I struggle with gyms - well, the people in gyms mainly.

I have tried home gyms and paid gyms and I’m hopeless at it too.

The thing to do is:

  1. if you have a dog/dogs, don’t just take it down the park to run around, make sure you walk them for an hour at least a day.
  2. Do your grocery shopping in small lots instead of weekly, and somewhere you can cycle to or walk to in more than 10 minutes.
  3. Take up an outdoor hobby that is useful, involves manual labour and can be picked up and left in half hour chunks (like a veggie patch for example).
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capitalquality Contributor

capitalquality

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@eoinfinnegan, you are hereby banned from the unhappy flab club for being a thin person. Although I find your suggestion to be quite disgustingly reasonable. I will leave this as-is for 24 hours to let my fellow prospective Jabbas emerge out of the pork belly of denial and elasticated wastebands we’ve been sharing and then amend the OP to something a bit less clickbaity.

It would only be fair if I started the “I’m not pregnant, but get a load of this!” pictures, Anna!

You don’t need a home gym writer, there are plenty of bodyweights (using your own body weight) programs out there. I did a Canadian one once. Can’t remember what it’s called now, but it was very effective. However, I am also desparately out of shape so all exercise is going to be a nightmare of hyperventilating with despair for me for a week or two.

And yes, running is boring. Plus, no sports bra = boobs everywhere.

EDIT: THIN PEOPLE VERBOTEN. GO MAKE YOUR OWN BEAUTIFUL BLOGBAIT GROUP!

there are plenty of bodyweights (using your own body weight) programs out there. I did a Canadian one once. Can’t remember what it’s called now, but it was very effective.

i read this as ‘I did a Canadian once’ & am disappointed now that that’s not what it says. 😉

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capitalquality Contributor

capitalquality

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The best diet that worked for me was a no carb diet. I unexpectedly lost a lot of weight and went to the doctor to make sure there wasn’t anything else wrong. I kept it up for about a year but then some stuff happened that made it hard to follow the diet for a few months and I remembered how much I loved mashed potato & bread. 🙂 Some of the weight, not all, has come back, but more than I’m happy with.

I’m going to start again in March though. I had loads more energy when I was on it too, after the first couple of weeks once my metabolism got used to the change.

You have to do it properly though and replace the sugars/carbohydrate with fat - so full fat milk rather than skimmed. And you end up eating a lot of eggs, which are now not bad for you luckily, or not this week anyway.

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mjakkerman Newbie

mjakkerman

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I lost 8kg over the last year. The main things I did are:

  • Eating mostly, almost exclusively, non-processed foods. No cookies, no cakes, but instead nuts or dates or other fruits. No prepared sauces from the supermarket, but we make almost everything by ourselves. My wife plays a big part in this process, alone I wouldn’t be able to manage this. I allow myself to eat other stuff on social occasions.
  • Limit alcohol. Only drink alcohol once or twice per week. Only a couple of times per year I violate this rule.
  • The good old 10000 steps a day rule. Everyday I walk 10000 steps (around 7kms) or some equivalent to that (cycling 15 km for example). I do this 6 out of 7 days a week, allowing myself one cheat day. Most of the time I don’t need this cheat day, but sometimes my schedule doesn’t allow for an extra walk. Or I can allow myself to stay at home on a rainy Sunday.

I don’t know, the main thing for me is to be strict to myself on one hand, but not be too harsh for myself if I have to break the rules occasionally.

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eoinfinnegan Mentor

eoinfinnegan

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I’m just going to hop in here and say we lazy freelancers should adopt a diet of only eating items that we catch/hunt/pick/forage. That will ensure everything is fresh AND we will be getting plenty of exercise. Mice with grass salad and rain water to drink, anyone?

Might not be a good idea for me,I adopted a stray cat recently but we are not too attached yet, I might be tempted

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sue_mcl Contributor

sue_mcl

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I’m totally in as I’ve got a nice food baby at the moment and I could happily say goodbye to it. Freelancing and working from home has killed my fitness - I ran a marathon 3 years ago and now can barely run for 1km. So I have been trying to get more regular with exercise, but then get a busy week and have no time blah blah and before I know it, a month has gone by and no running. I’d love the public shame of being part of a group so I could feel bad if I didn’t do it, to get into the habit of daily exercise - even when busy!

I’ve been doing an experiment the last few weeks to see how long I could last without driving anywhere, just to see if I could possibly become a carless person, walking the kids to where they need to go, to the shops etc and I have doubled (or more) my daily activity so driving makes me much lazier I reckon, need to remember that when I start driving again (as I worked out that I really can’t be a carless person, public transport in this little town, just isn’t what it needs to be).

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eoinfinnegan Mentor

eoinfinnegan

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Ok people, I am ready for this. My juicer and George Foreman grill are arriving in the morning, my local gym have given me a one month trial and I have got some willpower in the fridge. How is this gonna work btw?

PS. I vote that every time Fiverr is down we are allowed to eat whatever we want until it is back up.

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Guest offlinehelpers

Guest offlinehelpers

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Ok people, I am ready for this. My juicer and George Foreman grill are arriving in the morning, my local gym have given me a one month trial and I have got some willpower in the fridge. How is this gonna work btw?

PS. I vote that every time Fiverr is down we are allowed to eat whatever we want until it is back up.

Well it is pancake day - fill your boots!

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emmaki Grand Master

emmaki

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Ok people, I am ready for this. My juicer and George Foreman grill are arriving in the morning, my local gym have given me a one month trial and I have got some willpower in the fridge. How is this gonna work btw?

PS. I vote that every time Fiverr is down we are allowed to eat whatever we want until it is back up.

I have got some willpower in the fridge

Please tell me about your willpower in the fridge. Does it shout at you when you reach for the cake and then congratulate you if you switch to the celery sticks?

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miiila Grand Master

miiila

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Ok people, I am ready for this. My juicer and George Foreman grill are arriving in the morning, my local gym have given me a one month trial and I have got some willpower in the fridge. How is this gonna work btw?

PS. I vote that every time Fiverr is down we are allowed to eat whatever we want until it is back up.

PS. I vote that every time Fiverr is down we are allowed to eat whatever we want until it is back up.

Nope. Coffee & Biscuits.

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capitalquality Contributor

capitalquality

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Ok people, I am ready for this. My juicer and George Foreman grill are arriving in the morning, my local gym have given me a one month trial and I have got some willpower in the fridge. How is this gonna work btw?

PS. I vote that every time Fiverr is down we are allowed to eat whatever we want until it is back up.

I forgot until you mentioned it on the other post so it hasn’t started well!

I had weetbix for breakfast and I have a leftover chinese takeaway in the fridge for lunch.

I will start at dinner time. I have some Bok Choy. That’ll be nice braised.

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