Returns of the Pervs (or just bad luck?)

[katakatica]

So after going through a personal crisis I’m finally back on fiverr strong (and happy and stupid) as ever. As a writer, I’ve had the luck of getting orders that made me raise an eyebrow (or huff in mock surprise… coming from the fanfiction world nothing really surprises me)… But translating was usually well, the tamer of the things I do. I mean, I haven’t really translated fiction, maybe this and that really, and those were easy…
But then I started getting an odd string of orders.
So - I’m not going to get around the hot stuff anymore: I’ve been given about 3 (or more, really) orders about products for men (to help them in bed, may I say) to translate. First one was some time back, and it was okay, but then the next two… I’m not complaining by the way, I’m having the time of my life laughing at these things 😃 As I said, with writing, sure, but with translating? (I was also found by a person who needed reviews for a not so decent site translated, but thankfully my prices were too high… ) I’ve always been for hilarious things, so this is making me cackle to myself so badly I wanted to see if I’m the only one (which I probably am not :D) I’ve sort of started to realize that sometimes people who need translations have odder requests than those who need stories 😃
So, to cut my rambling short what was the ( I hope this isn’t the 131121th topic on this) weirdest order / inquiry you ever got? (so long as it can be shared lol)

[michaelaasand]

Mine wasn’t weird, just unexpected. A repeat client asked if I knew how to write business tenders, and I said no. I didn’t have any experience in it, and that the end result if I tried at that moment would be akin to me just mashing random buttons and hoping it came out okay. He ordered a $30 gig the next day for me to write him a business tender that could, if done well, put his company on the map.

Needless to say, I was petrified of screwing up, but more puzzled by the fact he still ordered it.

[psychicbunny]

Nope it’s returning of the pervs lol

[katakatica]

Nope it’s returning of the pervs lol

Ah Ok. I was thinking maybe I’m just thinking too much!

(My writing gigs have seen a lot worse but yeah :D)

[katakatica]

Mine wasn’t weird, just unexpected. A repeat client asked if I knew how to write business tenders, and I said no. I didn’t have any experience in it, and that the end result if I tried at that moment would be akin to me just mashing random buttons and hoping it came out okay. He ordered a $30 gig the next day for me to write him a business tender that could, if done well, put his company on the map.

Needless to say, I was petrified of screwing up, but more puzzled by the fact he still ordered it.

Hmm that does sound scary though. I’ve had to repeatedly tell a buyer before that while I’m capable of translating documents very well I don’t have the rights to translate for official business as I’m not a registered translator (I also live abroad and it would be too difficult) only to be told a few days after that I was tight: even though I did make the translation in the end it needs to be seen by higher ups.

But did you end up finishing the gig? Got the money and all?

[rockbellstudios]

It sounds like a funny movie title… The Return Of The Pervs 😃

[katakatica]

It sounds like a funny movie title… The Return Of The Pervs 😃 Don’t want to be the one to write it tho 😃

[nikavoice]

💟

OMG, I’ve had my fair share of bizarre requests. One creep told me that I’m the kinda girl he could wine & dine, and talk to all night long until the crack of dawn. 😕 Pervs are like a pesky fly… You swat one, and then another one reappears. Arm yourself with raid, ladies.

[katakatica]

💟

OMG, I’ve had my fair share of bizarre requests. One creep told me that I’m the kinda girl he could wine & dine, and talk to all night long until the crack of dawn. 😕 Pervs are like a pesky fly… You swat one, and then another one reappears. Arm yourself with raid, ladies.

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Ahaha well yeah, we all could use Raid for sure 😃

But wow, that creep is… very creepy. If someone says that to me on Tinder, OK, whatever (I’ve heard worse) but this is no dating site 😃 A lot of times I feel like some pigs think we’d do anything for money lol. Been asked if I do sexting before (but again, my experience with translation creeps me out more. Don’t go advertising that you’ve got issues in the bed-department 😃 ( I know it’s just ads and stuff for the web but still)

…seriously tho the wine and dine guy is the best 😃

[misscrystal]

They didn’t really need a translation. They just wanted you to read something pornographic. 😵

[katakatica]

They didn’t really need a translation. They just wanted you to read something pornographic. 😵 One file WAS pretty descriptive for what it was supposed to be!

I’d say I’m traumatized but not really 😃 it’s almost amusing.

[alliemadison12]

💟

OMG, I’ve had my fair share of bizarre requests. One creep told me that I’m the kinda girl he could wine & dine, and talk to all night long until the crack of dawn. 😕 Pervs are like a pesky fly… You swat one, and then another one reappears. Arm yourself with raid, ladies.

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One creep told me that I’m the kinda girl he could wine & dine, and talk to all night long until the crack of dawn.

Better that than “wine, dine and 69…” at least he had the decency to say he’d like to talk to you instead 😆

[nikavoice]

One creep told me that I’m the kinda girl he could wine & dine, and talk to all night long until the crack of dawn.

Better that than “wine, dine and 69…” at least he had the decency to say he’d like to talk to you instead 😆

Oh, my!

I’d like to say more but I know 👀

[michaelaasand]

Hmm that does sound scary though. I’ve had to repeatedly tell a buyer before that while I’m capable of translating documents very well I don’t have the rights to translate for official business as I’m not a registered translator (I also live abroad and it would be too difficult) only to be told a few days after that I was tight: even though I did make the translation in the end it needs to be seen by higher ups.

But did you end up finishing the gig? Got the money and all?

Yeah, I did. Stayed up late at night to finish it. Still have not heard back from him, but that’s not unusual. He leaves five star ratings after only after three days when the gig autocompletes.

[writer99025]

LOL at some of the posts here 😂

[madyr9228]

First, WELCOME BACK! 🙂

I guess everyone needs something translated. 😂 Haha

My weirdest experience so far (I’m a writer) was when someone asked me to write a horror story of a girl falling down on her feet, and when I politely told him I didn’t think I’d be the “best” writer for him. He said “well ok, can you just talk about YOUR feet then?”

I blocked him but then a few days later he returned with a new account. I reported him to CS and haven’t heard from his since…

[diegow]

I guess once you’ve been translating for a while, you end up covering the entire dignity spectrum, from the most dignified NGO document submitted to UN authorities, to the sleaziest, lowest piece on things unholy.

Yes - I can proudly say that some of my translations have made wee-wees go choo-choo.

[katakatica]

First, WELCOME BACK! 🙂

I guess everyone needs something translated. 😂 Haha

My weirdest experience so far (I’m a writer) was when someone asked me to write a horror story of a girl falling down on her feet, and when I politely told him I didn’t think I’d be the “best” writer for him. He said “well ok, can you just talk about YOUR feet then?”

I blocked him but then a few days later he returned with a new account. I reported him to CS and haven’t heard from his since…

THANK YOU! Good to be back to work 😃

Ahaha, we’ve all got that guy a bunch of times 😃 someone should make a gig specifically for him lol. Mr Feet Weirdo 😃 I was asked to s***e with the guy…

said nope sorry 😃 Hadn’t seem him in a bit but I’m glad XD

But when it comes to writing I’d say well…I’m not surprised I guess? 😃 (not foot fetish-wise but yeah XD that one threw me off :D)

[katakatica]

I guess once you’ve been translating for a while, you end up covering the entire dignity spectrum, from the most dignified NGO document submitted to UN authorities, to the sleaziest, lowest piece on things unholy.

Yes - I can proudly say that some of my translations have made wee-wees go choo-choo.

Well, that’s good to hear (not). I expected it to be smaller things but not…like this 😃 It’s just really weird that people would have THESE things translated, but then again, who knows 😃

(wow that’s…interesting to hear. Hope mine haven’t quite yet done that.)

[michaelaasand]

Okay, might have something weird to add. Was approached by a buyer, out of nowhere, asking if I could translate something of a personal nature containing adult content. I’m really curious now, haha.