Let's catch up (The Unusually Non-Satirical Mooch Thread)

[vickiespencer]

Montana grains

it is probably GMO corn, most is now unless it’s organic.

Whistling Andy Bouban is made with organic non-GMO corn. However, for some reason, they can not advertise it on the bottle. You can search and easily find the distillery. Their Hibiscus Coconut Rumis so pretty and so tasty.

[Guest offlinehelpers]

Buy Scotch Whisky instead - GM crops are banned in Scotland! 🙂

[misscrystal]

Buy Scotch Whisky instead - GM crops are banned in Scotland! 🙂

Great idea! I would like to move where they are banned. GMOs cause cancer in lab rats.

They are in so many products now.

[zeus777]

Odd client? Well, aside from the 45 year old Justin Beiber fanatic who told me I can’t write porn well in 400 words or less with a whole backstory, I’d have to say the oddest one would be the guy who asked me to write a story about him having an affair with me.

write a story about him having an affair with me.

Yikes…that’s…odd…I mean…creepy…but the Justin Beiber fanatic lady (assuming she’s a woman) sounds creepy too…

[cyaxrex]

write a story about him having an affair with me.

Yikes…that’s…odd…I mean…creepy…but the Justin Beiber fanatic lady (assuming she’s a woman) sounds creepy too…

write a story about him having an affair with me.

I would actually love to do this. I’d have it go something like:

And so finally, Percy Pevertedson had Lucy just where he had always wanted her. That said, Percy still couldn’t believe that any of this was real. She was too ethereally beautiful, too surreal a sight stood in the doorway of his secret serial killer cabin in the woods, wrapped in the still snowflake glittering fur of her mink coat.

“You are even more beautiful than the reverse image search of your profile picture led me to imagine,” said Percy.

Tentatively he stepped forward. “Here, may I take this for you?” He asked already starting to unhook the small wooden togs holding the wraps of mink around Lucy.

Lucy blushed and quickly Percy Pevertedson realized why.

“Mien Gott!” He gasped suddenly even more overwhelmed with desire. “You came all this way wearing only this and a pair of stilettos?”

“Yes,” said Lucy still blushing. “And yet I still feel overdressed.”

But then, as Percy began to separate the collar of Lucy’s mink coat from her shoulders, his fingers happened against something cold, dead, and flesh like resting against the nape of Lucky’s neck underneath."

“What?” He cried realizing what he had just touched and yanking his hand back in horror.

“But those are… Your necklace is made of…”

The world started to reel around Percy and he staggered backwards. He was sick, incable of making sense of what he had just seen, touched, and could now feel crawling like a nightmare it was impossible to wake up from over his quickly diminishing lust.

“Yes, Percy.” Said Lucy stepping forwards and completely out of her mink coat finally. “I collect the most intimate parts of the perverts I meet on Fiverr and I wear them. - Please don’t judge me, though. It’s just a kind of hobby I have.”

“Now,” she said standing in the flickering glow of the serial killer cabin woodstove and slipping a steak knife out of one of her garters, “I think that it’s time that I got my gig extra, don’t you?”

[lucycodex]

write a story about him having an affair with me.

Yikes…that’s…odd…I mean…creepy…but the Justin Beiber fanatic lady (assuming she’s a woman) sounds creepy too…

Oh no, he was an old man…

[lucycodex]

write a story about him having an affair with me.

I would actually love to do this. I’d have it go something like:

And so finally, Percy Pevertedson had Lucy just where he had always wanted her. That said, Percy still couldn’t believe that any of this was real. She was too ethereally beautiful, too surreal a sight stood in the doorway of his secret serial killer cabin in the woods, wrapped in the still snowflake glittering fur of her mink coat.

“You are even more beautiful than the reverse image search of your profile picture led me to imagine,” said Percy.

Tentatively he stepped forward. “Here, may I take this for you?” He asked already starting to unhook the small wooden togs holding the wraps of mink around Lucy.

Lucy blushed and quickly Percy Pevertedson realized why.

“Mien Gott!” He gasped suddenly even more overwhelmed with desire. “You came all this way wearing only this and a pair of stilettos?”

“Yes,” said Lucy still blushing. “And yet I still feel overdressed.”

But then, as Percy began to separate the collar of Lucy’s mink coat from her shoulders, his fingers happened against something cold, dead, and flesh like resting against the nape of Lucky’s neck underneath."

“What?” He cried realizing what he had just touched and yanking his hand back in horror.

“But those are… Your necklace is made of…”

The world started to reel around Percy and he staggered backwards. He was sick, incable of making sense of what he had just seen, touched, and could now feel crawling like a nightmare it was impossible to wake up from over his quickly diminishing lust.

“Yes, Percy.” Said Lucy stepping forwards and completely out of her mink coat finally. “I collect the most intimate parts of the perverts I meet on Fiverr and I wear them. - Please don’t judge me, though. It’s just a kind of hobby I have.”

“Now,” she said standing in the flickering glow of the serial killer cabin woodstove and slipping a steak knife out of one of her garters, “I think that it’s time that I got my gig extra, don’t you?”

O.O (gotta reach character limit)

[zeus777]

write a story about him having an affair with me.

I would actually love to do this. I’d have it go something like:

And so finally, Percy Pevertedson had Lucy just where he had always wanted her. That said, Percy still couldn’t believe that any of this was real. She was too ethereally beautiful, too surreal a sight stood in the doorway of his secret serial killer cabin in the woods, wrapped in the still snowflake glittering fur of her mink coat.

“You are even more beautiful than the reverse image search of your profile picture led me to imagine,” said Percy.

Tentatively he stepped forward. “Here, may I take this for you?” He asked already starting to unhook the small wooden togs holding the wraps of mink around Lucy.

Lucy blushed and quickly Percy Pevertedson realized why.

“Mien Gott!” He gasped suddenly even more overwhelmed with desire. “You came all this way wearing only this and a pair of stilettos?”

“Yes,” said Lucy still blushing. “And yet I still feel overdressed.”

But then, as Percy began to separate the collar of Lucy’s mink coat from her shoulders, his fingers happened against something cold, dead, and flesh like resting against the nape of Lucky’s neck underneath."

“What?” He cried realizing what he had just touched and yanking his hand back in horror.

“But those are… Your necklace is made of…”

The world started to reel around Percy and he staggered backwards. He was sick, incable of making sense of what he had just seen, touched, and could now feel crawling like a nightmare it was impossible to wake up from over his quickly diminishing lust.

“Yes, Percy.” Said Lucy stepping forwards and completely out of her mink coat finally. “I collect the most intimate parts of the perverts I meet on Fiverr and I wear them. - Please don’t judge me, though. It’s just a kind of hobby I have.”

“Now,” she said standing in the flickering glow of the serial killer cabin woodstove and slipping a steak knife out of one of her garters, “I think that it’s time that I got my gig extra, don’t you?”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

OMG OMG STOP STOP I CAN’T BREATHE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

OK, I…I need to wipe my tears…my coworkers are looking at me like I’ve finally gone insane.

Thank you for the laugh. You need to publish this. I’ll draw the cover!!