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nusrat_moury
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Well… Things are alright, all things considered. 

Ethel broke her hip again. Poor thing, it’s just so hard for her to get around - as it seems her 80’s just ain’t her 70’s. I told her, “now, honey - them boys run hard,” but she insisted on going cow tipping anyways. I knew those cops would catch up to her eventually, but that poor old woman just feels better in the slammer. Says it, “helps her shiv game,” whatever that means. 

Daryl got laid off again. Well, he calls it “laid off.” I call it “lifting boxes at the grocery store in your under britches is gonna get you fired.” Bless his heart, you know his momma was a hippie. In fact, Daryl’s legal name is “Running Wind Johnson.” Which, is cruel - considering his gimp leg and all. 
 

Daddy finally retried. The parts store threw him a big party and everything. They had them fancy streamers, a cake and everyone signed a card. I knew he enjoyed himself, on account of him performing all that classic karaoke. “A classic lives in your heart forever,” he always says. And I about think he’s right. I can’t get through one of his Tu Pac covers without a tear running down my cheek. 
 

That old pig Mitzi finally passed.
But her husband seems alright with it. 
 

The mayor came to the town square and we all voted on the difference between a “back road”, an “off road” and “up the road.” Next month we’re gonna finally settle this nonsense about “over a ways” and “just down a bit.” Just what I needed, another new map. 
 

Well, that’s all for now. It’s date night and the Walmart don’t stay open all night like it used to. 
 

it was really great to talk to you. 

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4 hours ago, damooch916 said:

Well… Things are alright, all things considered. 

Ethel broke her hip again. Poor thing, it’s just so hard for her to get around - as it seems her 80’s just ain’t her 70’s. I told her, “now, honey - them boys run hard,” but she insisted on going cow tipping anyways. I knew those cops would catch up to her eventually, but that poor old woman just feels better in the slammer. Says it, “helps her shiv game,” whatever that means. 

Daryl got laid off again. Well, he calls it “laid off.” I call it “lifting boxes at the grocery store in your under britches is gonna get you fired.” Bless his heart, you know his momma was a hippie. In fact, Daryl’s legal name is “Running Wind Johnson.” Which, is cruel - considering his gimp leg and all. 
 

Daddy finally retried. The parts store threw him a big party and everything. They had them fancy streamers, a cake and everyone signed a card. I knew he enjoyed himself, on account of him performing all that classic karaoke. “A classic lives in your heart forever,” he always says. And I about think he’s right. I can’t get through one of his Tu Pac covers without a tear running down my cheek. 
 

That old pig Mitzi finally passed.
But her husband seems alright with it. 
 

The mayor came to the town square and we all voted on the difference between a “back road”, an “off road” and “up the road.” Next month we’re gonna finally settle this nonsense about “over a ways” and “just down a bit.” Just what I needed, another new map. 
 

Well, that’s all for now. It’s date night and the Walmart don’t stay open all night like it used to. 
 

it was really great to talk to you. 

lol what did I just read

Edited by finndev478
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OK, sure, we can talk. ( but for some who posted a thread that says "Let's talk," your post is very, very short OP)

First of all to answer your question, more than 10 years ago when I started out as a new seller, I got about 5~6 orders during my first week.
What's my secret you may ask?
I performed this ancient Japanese ritual where I danced under the full moon with my cats on the roof, wearing a pink and purple polka dotted kimono while holding a basket of vegetables and fruits. That's the best way to get those orders coming.
Sorry, that was clearly a lie. But I hope the visuals made you smile.

I wish I had an interesting story to tell you, but there really isn't much going on. Here's what DID actually happen a few days ago;

I was walking my friend's dog on the streets of Seattle, I came across a dude who was clearly high on something, and it was pretty clear that his pants were way too big.
Yup, you guessed it. As he was crossing the street, his pants fell to his ankles, exposing his underwear.
He started yelling and cussing at his feet, I'm guessing he was angry at his...pants for falling down.
I think he was shouting for a good 5 seconds, then he finally pulled his pants up again and started walking.
I'm not sure where the guy was headed, but I bet his pants fell down at least 10 more times before he reached his destination.

The End.




 

Edited by zeus777
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9 minutes ago, zeus777 said:

I'm not sure where the guy was headed, but I bet his pants fell down at least 10 more times before he reached his destination.

That poor guy needs a belt or at least a piece of twine or rope!

10 minutes ago, zeus777 said:

I was walking my friend's dog on the streets of Seattle,

So you are still there! You are having a nice long visit.

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2 hours ago, vickiespencer said:

at least a piece of twine or rope

If I had anything, I mean ANYTHING, a rope, twine, ribbon, even duct tape, I would have given that to the guy.
Too bad I only had a dog leash in my hand...and I can't give that away!

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12 hours ago, zeus777 said:

I performed this ancient Japanese ritual where I danced under the full moon with my cats on the roof, wearing a pink and purple polka dotted kimono while holding a basket of vegetables and fruits. That's the best way to get those orders coming.
Sorry, that was clearly a lie.

Yes clearly it was a lie. We all know pagan rituals work better instead of japanese.

We gather around the bonefire at every 3 nights. There is a sacrifical goat. Each one of us use the Goats blood to write how much order we want on our forheads. 

After that we chant and dance around the fire;

"Blood has been spilled

For the gods have demanded

We have marked ourselves

With the plenty desired"

After saying that three times we hold hands around the fire and goat gets up, stands on its back hoofs, finishes the chanting for us.

"For i have seen both sides

For i have witness

Orders you shall get

Untill my next harvest"

Usually our goat offers work. Sometimes it is not accepted, and it leads to a whole different situation. Very violent. But we have been doing good for the most of the time.

Thats how you get orders.

 

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