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Ave, Imperator, morituri te salutant!


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[blockquote]BBCode you used is not allowed.[/blockquote]

No, you’re not Russell Crow and you’re not saluting Caesar before you hack/get hacked to death another gladiator.

Or maybe you are, you might be trapped in a super-weird time vortex portal or whatever the kids call it these days.

It’s time to learn, I think. The tips on here are beyond useless. They’re stuff that your kindergarten kid picked up after their kindergarten teacher told them off for silly behavior like… you know, don’t eat too much jelly or you’ll get sick?

Some of the real lessons come elsewhere. It’s not “first, you must make a profile” (dafuq)…let me illustrate what I mean:

a) I was learning how to swim. I’m a pretty good swimmer (I am still alive, for example). But when I was 6-7, this kid was better. He was inching ahead of me. We were really, really close. So I grabbed his leg, pulled him under and swum to victory! (then the teacher pulled me out the pool, gave me a very sound bollocking about why I was wrong and I cried a lot). So, don’t pull people down ahead of you unfairly. You might win temporarily, but the big mean teacher is gonna catch you and you lose anyway.

b) I also almost drowned around this age. My family was on vacation. There was this awesome-looking waterslide. My parents said I was too young. I puffed up with pride at my swimming skills and insisted I was old enough (etc) to do it. So they let me. Oh, the slide was SO MUCH FUN! Then I hit the water and I panicked. Sure, I knew how to swim, but in that moment I was looking around, swallowing water, flapping, all the rest of it. I simply didn’t know wtf I was doing. Some guy picked me out and I fell crying by my parents as they half told me off for being a stupid kid, were half relieved because I wasn’t dead.

Some of you ARE NOT ready. You will be, one day. But before then, it’s wise to listen to people who’ve been there (I’m not talking about swimming anymore, hint) and have more experience. If you want Fiverr to work for you, you have to work a little more.

Even if you are experienced, you’re still learning a new system. The learning curve is (thankfully) briefer–but slow down.

Because if you’re not ready, you’re gonna get chewed and spat out. I do have an idea though, one that I might share with all of you if I can get it together–because I know that “market yourself on social media” is crap advice.

It’s not–but it is, because the natural next question is “uh, how?” Well… that’s another lesson. But for now, consider this.

And try not to drown. I can assure you that half-drowning isn’t pleasant. So, I know some see me as harsh on here, but I’m really only just your pissed off Mom when you come crying after you ignored all good advice…again.

You gladiator, you. But you’re not. And Fiverr is not an “opportunity”. It’s just a system.

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Actually, I don’t get it. I see the same error in brackets when I open your post, but I don’t know what it means or where you saw it. Then again, my brain may be off because to be honest, I didn’t understand even the English parts of your post except to glean that you may or may not have attempted murder in a swimming pool. 🙂 If there is something else about the error that the mods need to know about, you might have to elaborate!

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Today I had a guy who placed a $25 order tell me, “I don’t see anything I can use” after I deliver.

So I told him this, I’m trying to be polite which isn’t easy for me:

“You go to a pizzeria and order a pizza, you don’t like the pizza. What do you do? Get your cash back? No, you have to accept that the pizza has value. Time was spent making the pizza, ingredients were bought to make the pizza. So I suggest you accept the delivery. You can click “resolve now” if you disagree, but I will not make a revision.”

The cheap ruffian will probably solicit a refund, or he’ll whine to Fiverr CS, or he’ll leave me a bad review. Did I put a gun against his head and forced me to make a $25 order?

These people, sometimes I feel like refunding the order before I start working, the problem is you never know who you’re dealing with until you deliver, then you meet the real buyer.

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I struggle with this too.

I just cancelled an order before it even started. I had it on my list for today–Moanday, future readers–but I weighed it up and hit cancel.

It was pretty easy to. The buyer’s original request was fine. It was the weekend of “I had a bad experience of previous sellers telling me it was kooky’” and “where are you” that made me think “nah”.

I also had another buyer who LOVES MY FORUM POSTS (hi) who chose not to go with me because I had other shit to do over the weekend. He also had only 100 words and it wouldn’t take long and had a max budget of $15 less than… c’mon, guys.

Mr. “It won’t take long” “oops there goes the budget” also messaged me some hours ago somewhat haughtily to let me know that due to me not responding ASAP over the weekend, he had chosen another seller.

Which reminds me I haven’t written back yet.

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