Fiverr: a moratorium for the despairing seller

[emmaki]

There are 7 billion people out there. The vast, vast majority are idiots. They’re just really spread out so you don’t notice it so much.

If your buyer is dribbling their peach compote all over their evening dress–no, cancel that order. If they’re frothing at the mouth like a dog with rabies–no, cancel that order. If they suddenly undercut you while being friendly–no, cancel that order.

Think of the biggest, baddest company in your country. They get away with everything. It’s shocking. Maybe it’s a monopoly, maybe it pretends not to be, because it is sharing it with others (North American cellphone users take note here).

The truth is like a light and fluffy desert after a gut-busting roast. You can be whoever you want to be on Fiverr, but if you’re shit at it, you’ll fail. Big companies make misjudgments all the time. Take the Fiverr CRO/GaryVee video. That’s minor. Then there’s…oh, Ratners (google it, it’s amusing,). What astounds me is the sheer level of where is ma sells, Martha?!

Well, it’s called a moratorium. You just need to wait. That word means a bunch of other stuff, but it also means (deathly) patience. Evil conglomerate 101 had to suck a teat once too. They had to deal with frothing maniac with a bedpan who wasn’t afraid to use it. Sometimes just plain indifference.

You will not help yourselves at all through whining. You will not help yourselves through begging. You will not help yourselves through copying. Yes, I and thousands, even millions more make money online. You could, too.

So… STFU and improve your craft. No orders today? Awesome. Work on the learning. Life is not meant to be a breeze. I mean that in a nice way–there’s always something lurking in the shadows. So make hay, have fun and remember that when times are bad, the good times are just a corner away. But please don’t pointlessly whine. Focus that energy in a useful direction.

[emmaki]

…and for those of you who paid $20 or whatever for a training course that would show you how to kill it on Fiverr (or anywhere else) on the strength of those PayPal transaction screenshots/checks…or even the woeful Fiverr analytic panel guff that reveals nothing…

No, honey. If someone is making 7k a month off Fiverr, they’re not going to tell you how. That’s diluting the market. It’s filling their own pockets with super-generic advice that you could give your granny while keeping the real $$$ to themselves. Unscrupulous snake oil merchants might just use that stat (theirs or otherwise) to prove that their crappy system plus 20 DFY gigs will sell. But if you didn’t stop to listen to the gentle warning in your head that asked “well, what about everyone else who got this?” then… damn, son, I got 99 problems but you ain’t one.

I don’t have a trick, people like how I write. I picked up marketing bs along the way. But I’ve never whined. I’ve mainly been amazed that my random crap is worth $$$$. That attitude will take you a long way, trust me. But don’t be afraid to clamp down hard on anyone who tries to take advantage.

Anyway that’s it from me tonight. May your Sunday be a fruitful venture.

[emmaki]

“success breeds success”–remember your corny aphorisms. Your Mom was right in the end–and so are these.

[david_ff]

Excellent points! I agree that many people out there are idiots. May I add one additional personal attribute to that list that describes a vast majority of people as well… Lazy.

And when combined there’s no end to the amount of unfulfilled potential that simply goes wasted.

There are so many people out there that want success not only on Fiverr, but in all aspects of their life. The problem is, nobody wants to

1. Think and use their brain
2. Work and make it happen

You see… if you’re looking for a formula for success on Fiverr, I just gave it to you. But it doesn’t matter how many times you give this information away, most people won’t take it.

It’s a shame really.

People will do anything they can to avoid thinking…

*** think about it… ***

how many times a day at work, or wherever you are does someone ask you a question, that they could answer themselves if they put in a little effort to figure it out. At a previous job I remember a co-worker asked me how to fill out a report. We were both in the same meeting where the report was presented. We had both never seen it before, until that day. Yet he came to me and asked how to do it.

Why…

Because he (even if subconsciously) wanted to do everything in his power to avoid thinking.

Let’s bring this full circle back to Fiverr. Nobody taught me how to make money on Fiverr. Nobody taught me how to make sales on Fiverr. Nobody told me how to set up my gigs on Fiverr. Nobody told me to ditch a crappy customer when they come along. I used my brain and figured it out.

And I get people all the time that want to do what I’m doing… but the truth is, I’m not sure they can because

1. They don’t want to use their brain
2. They don’t want to actually work

And chances are… if you possessed those two attributes, you probably wouldn’t be whining or asking for my help anyway.

Good luck to everyone! Here’s to thinking and succeeding!

[r3k0d3d]

I got a request by someone asking me if I could turn $5 into $5000, I said sure, put a bet on Leicester City winning the premier league two years in a row, you may have to wait a while but I’m sure it’s a sound investment! 😛

[markp]

@emmaki with regards to Ratners. People have done the equivalent of that on here. To people doing this. Never. Ever. talk down your work, or how long it takes to do it, or make it appear that a monkey with brain bypass surgery can do what you are doing. I’ve seen people come on here boasting about how quickly they can churn out their orders and stating all they are doing is to upsell in their base gig. Buyer’s come on here and read this forum and I’ve seen feedback left on gigs that correlates with what has been stated on here. If you are selling a prawn sandwich dressed up as diamond earrings that is up to you. Don’t boast about it though as It will come back to bite you and hard.

[fitrigwrites4u]

˝Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that˝. -George Carlin-.

This is the second time I posted his quotation. I really like him. Anyway, I have made peace with reality. I have made peace both with people who are smarter and more stupid than me. So I just see whatever things in life like I am watching a movie. They are actually entertaining 🙂

[writer99025]

Lots of great comments in this thread, just awesome.

[emmaki]

Despite looking like a bird colony with the dress sense of a hermit, Einstein came out with some right zingers and always got the birds. Human birds, not bird birds.

http://i.imgur.com/3AIeXLH.jpg

3AIeXLH.jpg850×400

[emmaki]

Indeed. There’s nothing wrong with a pawn mayo sandwich, it really hits the spot. I certainly wouldn’t want to bite into a diamond bit and crack a tooth. Still, I suppose the diamond would pay for the dentures and more, so there is a silver lining to every cloud.

Pawn sandwich pretendy diamond sellers–this nonsensical story doesn’t apply to you. Go read about Ratner and ponder your lesser fall from grace (the same as walking into a lamppost and having the entire street laugh at you)

[emmaki]

I fancied Martin O’Neill when he was the manager of Leicester City and have a club shirt with O’NEILL (1) on the back–I’m embarrassed to recall it, but it might be worth $5 now, right? It was pretty manky last time I saw it and had been relegated to ‘no bedclothes left’ status. But now… ooh, I can smell my money…

[misscrystal]

He could have used a good stylist. But when you spend most of your time thinking about how the universe is made there’s no time to consider clothing and hair.

[emmaki]

plus he got to get all the girls anyway, so if you’re an eccentric genius the world is your oyster.

[fitrigwrites4u]

Misscrystal just made me LOL.

[eoinfinnegan]

#AskEmmaKee
Quick, some youtube subscriber sellers give her 200k subscribers so Fiverr will make the @emmaki video interview happen

[emmaki]

I’d have to wear an anonymous (guy fawkes) mask. Apparently my face really offends some illiterate people. I wouldn’t want to alienate my audience before I could really lay into them, would I? There’s no fun in that.

[misscrystal]

You face offends people 😃 That just gives you a head start.

[emmaki]

Seriously, I had a fight with a guy yesterday who got angry because I spelt don’t/doesn’t wrong (i.e. he thought I used the wrong conjugation–which I hadn’t–he did, on the other hand… and then his final shot was to mek more sells I should get a better profile pictures.

Yeah. I screeched back with a verb table, and called him a P. Enis, because his profile was a gray letter P and why not.

The post died about there. I imagine people thought I took it to heart.

[thetruemelissa]

Wanna hear a funny story?

My physical therapist is so charmed by my Fiverr success that she’s been telling other people about it. When another client said that he really needed money, she mentioned that a client (me) had started online editing and was doing pretty well. The man insisted that he did not have time to freelance; it was simply impossible.

The funny part? The man was seeing the PT because of repetitive stress injury from playing video games too much.

[matterz000]

My hero.

[adkafridi]

your response reminds me of a song… “Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die” 😃

[fitrigwrites4u]

LOL

[babibalubi]

I wanna be a cowboy
and you can be my cowgirl!

[topaz_muse]

Can’t wait for the next episode. Have a feeling there’s more to come.

[anigrams]

The Lady doth protest too much, methinks.