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My Finest Message Yet. You Know It's Sarcasm

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Hehe. I just had another - some would say terrifying, others would say exciting, I would say comical - experience from those strange people that message you. Now, this is exciting.

I’m going to break down each message individually just to express my thoughts on each one, as this is a beast.

Yes, I’m alive. Has to be my favourite way of greeting somebody.
I really hoped that ‘I’m fine’ would account for ‘I’m alive’.
Ooh, a trilogy. Really spoiling me now. The line ‘soz for CAPS LOCK !’ makes me want to cry.
And, do I need to get started on ‘are you a UK?’

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‘Never boasts its’
Are we Gollum?
‘Ha eh’
I’m assuming by ‘I wants fast days arrival’ he means he wants an express delivery.

I didn’t realise ‘lots of words’ was a type of book. And then, we reach the authors.

Did he think or something that an established author such as Tolkien, was going to write for him?
For those who don’t know, Tolkien died in the 70s. And, who is “GRMRR”? Do you mean GRRM (George R.R. Martin)? Who wrote Game of Thrones? As I will never forgive him for killing Ned…

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What did he expect? And what is a ‘HARDCORIAN’?

I feel abused…

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Guest humanissocial

This buyer has no idea what ghostwriting is.

He clearly thinks it means you specialize in mythical fantasy. :rofl:

He also may be tripping balls while reading The Hobbit.

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Guest fibocci

How do they even manage to write with such incoherency? Did they actually type that in while sober?

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Guest caesar_english

This person thought you could summon spirits of dead authors to get them to write stories for them. THIS IS THE BEST THING I’VE EVER READ.

Please never change the title of that Gig, it will provide plenty of entertainment for lonely working nights.

Ps: someone should tell them Martin is still alive. Bet you would make their day!

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