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I think I've made a huge mistake


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So, long story short, something altogether unexpected happened the other day. I finally decided that I had had enough, closed my laptop and went out to drown my sorrows in a local bar.

I’ve had a tremendously hard month both on and off Fiverr recently, so in my mind this was justified. In this case, there I was, nursing a double whisky and a pint, moaning about my problems to a barman who didn’t care but was too polite to say, and then suddenly, wham!

In short, the most perfect of perfect strangers somehow walked into my life.

“I sleep with my dog and am very weird in more respects than you can possibly imagine,” I slurred in the middle of our conversation while also making the mistake of identifying this persons mother as their hot sister.

“That’s okay, I’d still like to get to know you anyway.”

And there it was. For the first time in ages I had a hot date lined up for the next day with a real normal. You know, a real, ‘you don’t have to be anyone but who you are and I’ll be the same’ normal human being!

The only problem is that as well as waking up with a raging hangover the next morning, Fiverr happened. Two explainer videos and 3 tricky as hell articles which by the time I woke up, all had to be done in 12 hours.

So I didn’t go. I couldn’t. My cancellation ratio is sky high as it is and I’ve already had 3 late deliveries this month.

Now though, I realize that have made a huge mistake. I should have gone. Not just because of the fact that I was legitimately interested in getting to know someone rather than getting them into my bed, but because now I realize that it has finally happened, Fiverr has taken over my life.

The only question is, do I spend the next few nights at the same bar hoping that they show up again and make some kind of grovelling apology? My head says no because that just makes me look like what we call in England a right old pregnant fish. (We use an expletive term - not the actual term, ‘right old pregnant fish)’

My heart however, is saying “come on, it’s a normal!” Swallow up and at least try!"

So what would you do fellow Fiverrians? If you were left sitting waiting for a date that never arrived, would you take kindly to seeing them again? That and them making a move a second time? Or did I ruin everything as completely as I think I have?

In either case, if you ever find yourself in the same situation, don’t put Fiverr above such an opportunity. Trust me, you’ll realize that your the fool of the century if you do.

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Oh Andy what are we going to do with you…

If I put myself in her shoes, sitting and waiting there I would probably be super mad and think what an a**

You can sit there and wonder what if…or just take matter into your own hands and go back in the hopes to see her again.

If it’s meant to be your paths will cross again and if they do just be honest and tell her what happened. If she is into you it will be all right.

Now go ahead and chase the mysterious woman. Good luck 😉

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They could be a mother daughter psychopath team who are in fact the world’s worst serial killers who have targeted you because Mom has a Dean “lil ole drunken me” Martin angst.

So perhaps the video saved you from having to put endless lotions in baskets and hosing down.

[Edits applied due to lack of blush emojis for the forum.]

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Ah, I don’t do phones. I keep trying but I just can’t handle it. I get one and I just put it in airplane mode after a few days and forget about it. I’m really odd like that. But originally this was part of the chemistry. Alas, though, I did go back tonight but it was just the usual English retirement crowd. Maybe tomorrow…

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It wasn’t about a failed leg over. Also, I didn’t ruin it with the mom. I can be scandalously charming enough to recover from any kind of social faux pas when I need to be.

I’ll never give up on at least the idea of a normal, though. Moreover, at least now I know that there are still a few out there. I’ll do it, even if I have to go completely off-grid I’ll find one.

As for your charming Internet. It’s all a lie. I don’t want fiber-optic feelings. I want the real thing.

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