Howdy!

[e_clients]

Hi all! I thought since Fiverr was down (at least on my end) for a bit, this would be as good a time as any to introduce myself. I am new to Fiverr and so far all is good. Not much traffic yet but with some promotion it shouldn’t be an issue. I have heard good things from friends so I am relatively hopeful.

I am originally from the United States, however I have been traveling over the past 3 years and have not been ‘home’. Most of my travels this trip have been throughout Central America (Panama, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Guatemala) and am currently on the Caribbean cost of Mexico which I am quickly falling in love with. I support my travels by writing any and all things however my goal is to slip completely into the erotic/ romance genre. I have written many ebooks, most of which were ghostwriting, and it seems that erotica is the most fun for me.

Anyhow, would love to get to know some of you guys and hear your stories. Always nice to have friends to chat with at the water cooler. 🙂

[cyaxrex]

What kinds of stories were you interested in hearing e_clients? If it’s the wink wink and pinchy bum kind I’m afraid I can’t help. I do have some entertaining disaster romance stories, though. Namely, one where I accidentally superglued my shoe to my foot during a romantic weekend in Auckland.

Then there was another time where I had a bizarre reaction to viagra at a heavy metal music festival, but to be honest that reaction could have been due to err…something else.

I write books but can’t really do erotica. I did try but I kept feeling like God was watching me. Either him or my dead Grandma. Do you have any work published? If so, what does erotica sell like? I only make about $40 of my books per month. However, I do need to get back on the creative writing ball as it’s been ages since I knocked a new one out and who knows, that could be my first best seller :).

[writer99025]

Man, you’ve led quite a life already, and you should be as old as I am…amazing.

[misscrystal]

Those strange reactions to Viagra are not uncommon.

[e_clients]

Didn’t really mean that kind of story but thanks for the share. 😉 I intended to keep it PG and just kind of get to know people.

As far as writing goes, I mostly have done ghostwriting in the past which I really enjoy. I do have several e-books published, all different genre’s of erotica, that I did a few years back. I also make roughly $40-50 a month on those. I have a ton of stuff that I intend to put up once I get motivated to edit it, format it and create covers for them.

How did you get into writing? I wrote a lot when I was younger and ended up turning some of my boyfriends/ friends wildest thoughts into reality. Then several of their friends began asking for stories and I realized there was a market for personalized stories. It’s kinda like when your a kid and order a book that has your name punched into it but with every detail you could want. Makes it more exciting I think.

[fitrigwrites4u]

Edited: already looked up on Google what PG stands for.

[e_clients]

Technically PG stands for ‘Parental Guidance’ but its just an expression meaning not rated ‘R’, ‘NC 17’, ‘NR’, or ‘XXX’.

[esthernyambura]

I thought it means pregnant

[e_clients]

Well, that would make that sentence very interesting wouldn’t it? 🙂 However, please see above for my initial intended meaning of PG.

Anyhow, I was just trying to meet some new people and potentially friends/ people to chat with about work etc.

Cheers,
E

[emmaki]

I’m throbbing with desire to know the viagra story. I reckon that’s probably the extent of it though. Not exactly the pill of choice to take at a festival, is it? Also, how did the superglue thing come about?

[cyaxrex]

Sorry, but don’t you dare put me in your “you’re as old as I am boat.” Yes, I’m in my early 30’s but I intend to push my limits to the fullest before anyone dares stamp a middle-aged logo on me.

Also, doesn’t everyone have a crazy last minute hook up story? If not, at least in the pre-twitter age we managed to have bad sex that’s still fun to remember and talk about after.

[cyaxrex]

Throbbing? Well Emmaki, I think that this thread has finally ventured into PG territory.

I’m afraid, however, that my viagra story isn’t that kinky. One of my favourite bands used to be a band called Volbeat (they are way too commercial now for my liking). Anyway, they were playing in Hungary a few years back and my then brother in law of sorts decided to help me and a few UK friends kick start our musical appreciation of the event with a couple of chemically derived aids.

One of the aforementioned was the famous blue pill. (It’s basically a legal high if you do it right). Anyway, as well as becoming as horny as goat at the most impromptu moment, my mind split into several thousand horny minds all busy discussing what and who to hump first. It’s hard to describe but the best thing for me, in the end, was to sit the whole thing out in our tent muttering between my different personalities. - Definitely not a good festival experience.

As for the superglue situation, that was actually about real love and is a bit personal actually.

It was my last three months in NZ before the end of my final visa. I knew that I had to leave and I was dreading it because I’d not only had the most amazing time of my life, but I’d also made the most amazing friends.

Anyway, at the same time a girl called Sheree had offered to marry me so that I could stay. - Now trust me, from where I’m from in the North East of the UK that’s a lottery ticket. However, it was a case of she loved me more than I loved her and she knew it. In the end then, it came to a crunch 3 days in Auckland where I decided to try and love her and become rock solid husband material.

To do this I booked a fancy hotel, invested in a nice outfit and some pretty great shoes to boot. The only problem was that I realized
when we were getting ready to go out, that one of my shoes had a hole in it where the leather met the sole. In this case, before we went out for the night, I decided to superglue this hole closed, not realizing that I was also supergluing my inside sock and foot to the shoe itself.

Anyway, we had a fantastic evening. The only problem was that when it came to bed time I couldn’t take my shoe off without ripping half of my big toe off in the process. In the end then, that kind of settled it for us.

Of course, we had a few wee adventures after all that. Also, Sheree always knew that I wasn’t 101 in love with her like she was me, but in the end, my superglued foot solidified things for us. Funny how life works out. In fact, the whole thing was like Cinderella in reverse. Who knows, maybe I’ll make a PG book out of it one day.

[writer99025]

LOL…you are younger than me? Don’t know how that’s going to make me feel…

[cyaxrex]

Well, every dirty old man in my old country used to tell me that you’re only ever as old as the woman you feel…

More seriously, though, there are things which I will never talk about on this forum but if you are worried about old father time catching up with you, maybe you should start embracing a few old Vedic medicine principles?

[writer99025]

I need to do something simpler than that - exercise. Will make a habit of it.

[cyaxrex]

Ah, screw exercise, your talking about it not doing it. In this case, you’re living vicariously through a future self who you haven’t actually realised yet.

Really, look into the Vedic side of things, I only know a little but what I do know has benefited me significantly. In fact, I’d love to visit a few Ashrams in India to learn more but I spent a month in a Buddhist monastery in Thailand a few years ago and actually left feeling really disappointed.

In either case, life is life. You can live it or watch it and in my opinion, you might me watching it too much at the moment rather than actually living it. There’s nothing wrong with that, I am too at the moment. It is very important to discover yourself a little bit sometimes, though, and you are never old as long as you can still associate the future with a certain sense of adventure.

[writer99025]

Yeah, true.

[emmaki]

Quite a lot of men leave their socks on while entertaining ladies, so I hear. There was a bloke on YouTube (LA Beast I think?) who was dared to drink like a gallon of Tabasco (or something like that–it’s his thing) or, if he failed, superglue his hand to his face. He did pretty well but didn’t finish–there was a time limit, too!–so he superglued it, then a bit later ripped it off along with his beard. I thought of that. Still though, now you know to give the superglue something to adhere to that isn’t one of your digital bits. Didn’t you notice a bit of wetness? So to speak

The viagra story sounds like the only and only festival I went to. Reading 2000? We had just finished school and were all going off to university. So Reading Festival, obvs. I drove us there bragging about my “local knowledge” of the roads and missing all the jams–only to discover I’d left the tickets at home (I was a moron when I was 18). My friends refused to come back with me to collect the tickets (about a 1hr round trip that would usually be 20m–but non-local drivers, more like 4 hours. I abused roundabout systems and smaller roads and all that jazz). So I left them glowering at me to get them myself.

I come back a little later, and they’re not there. I ask the bloke who turned me away where they were and he shrugged “they went that way” and pointed at tent hell. I found them a little bit later–let’s just say my friends were distinctive looking at the time–and told them off, and they told me off. Then we set the tent up.

One of my friends then decided to get stoned as hell, and walked to the portaloo barefoot. She didn’t notice–neither did anyone else–until the next morning that one of her feet had a huge gash in it. It was pretty manky. I had to spend most the morning after in the meditent with her and other casualties. Aside from that, it was OK. I almost got squashed to a pulp watching the Manics and the security had to pull me out of the crowd. That was cool, as I couldn’t breathe, but my pants were also being dragged down and the bouncer got annoyed because I suddenly got squirmy trying to protect my modesty. Then I got frogmarched out in case of stage invasion (I was breathless and in no state for any such larks). There were remarkably few incidents after that bar the usual druggies and the fact that South Park’s “TIMEH!” was the catchphrase that summer.

And that’s my one and only festival story. They just didn’t hold that much appeal to me. Perhaps I should have gone down the viagra popping route?

[misscrystal]

That paints quite a picture.