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Study of Buyer Doe


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Description: Unidentifiable specimen of Buyer going by the username of [REDATCED]. Our observations indicate that it would most likely be a specimen of Homo sapiens. Gender and age are unknown due to the lack of profile pictures and of any historic data.

*Note: Despite being part of an apparent intelligent species, Buyer Doe seems unable to communicate or read. It’s inability to communicate with “Seller A” before ordering, like mention in both the gig and the requirements, seems to support this hypothesis.

Question: Is Buyer Doe a bad buyer, an inexperienced buyer or a good buyer using camouflage?


  • Buyer Doe’s account as been created on [REDACTED] and has never ordered before. Those
    2 [two] observations could support the hypothesis that Buyer Doe is a new buyer who is not adapted to his environnement yet. This doesn’t explain why Buyer Doe can’t seem to read.

  • The previously made observations could also indicate that the account is fake. An attempted predatorial act against Seller A could be a plausible explanation. This would indicate that Buyer Doe can read and purposely avoid Seller A’s defense mechanism.

  • Buyer Doe is a good buyer that camouflage as a bad buyer. This would lead to question the intelligence of Buyer Doe as this is a very ineffective way to get results. Further testing is required to validate or invalidate this hypothesis.


A.1 Seller A will wait 2 days after which she will send a friendly reminder to Buyer Doe to test its mental and cognitive reflexes. The desired result is that Buyer Doe provides its requirements.

A.2 If experiment A.1 is unsuccessful, Seller A will use positive reinforcement techniques like describe in [REDACTED]. The desired result is to trigger a feeding response from Buyer Doe, so it communicate its needs to Seller A.

A.3 Seller A will ignore Buyer Doe for a [to be determined] period of time. The desired result is to give Buyer Doe time to display signs of brain activity.

B.1 If all previous attempts at communication failed, protocol DAP [Disinfection Action Plan] is to be triggered and the specimen named Buyer Doe shall be removed from the facility or terminated.

Conclusion: N/A, further testing necessary.

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Observation: Buyer Doe showed vital signs before the beginning of experiment A.1 and filled the requirements clearly. It’s important to note that Buyer Doe show signs of confusion and maladaptive behavior since its requirements doesn’t fit the package he chose. Buyer Doe also chose the wrong gig. Seller A chose to hold Buyer Doe’s hand with the following:

Thank you for your order!

I have to informe you that you ordered my basic package, which is to be used as a sample of my work, so it includes just a sketch of your character and no color. I wanted to make sure this is ok with you in case it would be a mistake.

If you want a complete color portrait of your character my price is usually 50$. What I propose, if you want to, is to complete this sketch and deliver this order. Once done, I could send you a custom offer for the complete drawing and deduce the 10$ you already paid for the sketch. So the custom offer would be 40$ instead of 50$.

Or we can just keep it as a sketch if a sketch is really what you want. I just wanted to make sure there is no misunderstanding."

Buyer Doe responded positively to Seller A’s message, though it is unclear if Buyer Doe really understood what Seller A said. So far Buyer Doe as shown no sign of agression and appear to be a confuse new buyer. Further interactions with Buyer Doe shall confirm this hypothesis.

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Let’s exorcise the scientific in me and give an update in normal way. After my last message he stop responding again. I did the sketch like he ordered and waited for him to approve it or tell me if he wanted me to complete it. But he wouldn’t get online and the clock was ticking. I made the decision of delivering the project since he ordered a sketch and that’s exactly what I did. He didn’t get online and eventually the order auto completed. So I was like: “That’s it, I bet he is going to get online 2 000 years later and ask for a refund.”

I wouldn’t dispute it, because I’m one order away from level 1 (everything else is checked), and I don’t have a lot of reviews, so I didn’t want to ruin that by risking a bad review for 10$ and 45 mins of work. Turns out…no, he got online a day after the order was auto completed, didn’t communicate with me or leave a review, but gave me 100% tip. So I guess he liked it. :woman_shrugging:

I would appreciate a little bit more communication, but …I mean…as long as he don’t give me any trouble I guess I can work with that.

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I’ve to say, your post made me laugh so hard and I kinda feel bad about it since I’ve been on the other side of that buyer-seller interaction. I know how it feels, how nerve-racking it can be.

I’m glad things turned out okay for you though, and again, amazing post! 10 out of 10! A masterpiece!

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Glad it turned out well.

I’m like you n that I find customers who won’t communicate very hard to work with. If they won’t say, how do I know what they need. I can’t do my job if I only get told a few cliché things and not what the larger context is. Oh well, it takes all kinds (to make the world an annoying place).


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