I'm new to Fiverr and demand good luck

[damooch916]

Hello dear,

I’m brand new to Fiverr and I need you to wish me good luck.

Let’s not make assumptions. I don’t have some sort of “good luck” addiction or anything.

Okay. I met some strangers in a dark alley for some good luck, like twice.

Alright, I once had good luck with two guys in college. It’s college. The prerequisite years to experiment and find out who you are. That’s my business. Besides, this isn’t the 1990’s so you can stop with the “luck” shaming me.

For heaven’s sake, maybe I look up luck on the internet sometimes. Maybe I keep the luck tab next to a decoy tab where it appears that I’ve searched “Cute Puppies.” Maybe I switch to the decoy when my wife enters the room and I nervously say, “these tikes are just adorable,” and I adjust my pants.

Hey! Maybe my pants are tight from years of lost ambition and the exhaustion of raising kids resulting in “comforting eating” and you shouldn’t be so quick to judge when someone mentions clothing adjustments. Sicko…

Perhaps some folks, evolved and culturally aware types, sell their television in the middle of the night to two leather wearing, mustached men who both go by the name, “Boris.” Maybe the Boris’s give them some luck as a way to say, “thanks for this TV - and in unrelated news, here’s some luck that totally has nothing to do with this TV.”

What’s wrong with that?

Why does this completely imaginary person’s wife have to wake up in the middle of this, let’s call it “transaction,” and suddenly lay into this not real person?

And she’s all…

“You sold our television? When will this madness end with you?”

And he’s all…

“I’m doing you a favor, do you realize the psychological implications of living your life through imaginary characters?”

And she’s all…

“I can’t spend another night jumping through your mentally illogical jungle gym Mooch. At some point you’ve got to budget your needs in a grownup way. In a way that factors in the needs of someone other than yourself. It’s exhausting. I’m out of excuses for you.”

And he’s like,

“To who, your mother? Yeah, I live my life to please her sense of social self worth.”

And she goes…

“It matters. Perception, social integration, selflessness and acting like an adult with an actual family, matters. I can’t explain it to you anymore … and I can’t make you understand. Me and the kids will be at my sister’s.”

And in this completely made up scenario, she leaves because she’s hecka stupid.

Well, whatever.

It’s not like there’s a lesson in all this. Sometimes there just isn’t any perspective to gain.

This made up person, that I made up, to say made up things, that definitely never existed, doesn’t need her lecturing. Or comfort. Or stability. Or a job. Or self worth. Or normal friends that aren’t imaginary. Or clothes that aren’t in a pile that the dog uses as a bed. This person doesn’t need a functioning shower. Or cheese that hasn’t expired. Or a working cell phone to replace the fake one he stole at a local cell phone kiosk that he pretends to talk to people on at the coffee shop.

All he needs is some good luck.

So anyways.

I’m new to Fiverr. Wish me good luck.

[damooch916]

This has been a Mooch performance. No one named Boris was harmed during the making of this program. Mooch appears courtesy of too much espresso. Now back to you Chip.

[swsumon]

Welcome to fiverr community.try to Promote your gigs and active on fiverr.

[damooch916]

Welcome to fiverr community.try to Promote your gigs and active on fiverr.

Thank you.

Should I collect emails from a reputable source who will sell them to me 10,000 for one US dollar?

He seems legitimate.

I’m not supposed to mention his name. He said something like, “I will make you disappear. You and anyone you mention my name to.”

His name was Frank.

I’m sure it’s fine. It’s hard to tell when people are being funny online. Or on the phone when they use a voice changer. Or in person when they wear a black mask and a fedora.

Thank you for totally reading all of my post.

[swsumon]

Welcome to fiverr. Be active and get your first order

[damooch916]

Welcome to fiverr. Be active and get your first order

@swsumon

Thank you.

I’ve gotten word from a psychic since we last spoke. She said everything will be fine if I crush two leaves over a waterfall.

Spoiler. I’m at the waterfall.

So it’s easy street from here on out.

Thank you for your revolutionary advice.

[damooch916]

Welcome to fiverr. Be active and get your first order

Update.

I’ve fallen in the waterfall.

So, I’m floating. Which … you’d assume my psychic would have told me.

I should have known her services were questionable when she tried to up sell me a copywriting service.

I’m gonna offer my services to some fishermen and see how things play out.