I OD'ed on Fiverr today! :P

[whisperflex]

Glad to see all the people making the OD on FIverr efforts. I promise it really pays off.

[whisperflex]

I hope all you Sellers are still OD’ing on Fiverr every chance you get! I’ve almost reached $20K in sales and a ton of it is from repeat Buyer’s who love it when I OD for them!!! 🙂

[corsara]

I OD on all my orders :). I try to over promote my clients stores, and usually end up with double the traffic I promised.

[misscrystal]

Zombie thread from 3 years ago resurrects from the dead?

[emmaki]

OD = overdose = dead.

You could be onto something here, @misscrystal! I feel that ODing on an order would lead to a “canceled order! Seller failed to deliver on time” review, but that’s just me.

[misscrystal]

Perhaps you could write a script for a horror movie, sellers slumped over their computers mid order.

[emmaki]

I’m bored so I did it! Dedicated to you, I guess 😃

====

The horrible shadow of buyer Nosferatu approaches our OD seller, enduring violent fits of seizure in the background. The terrifying shadow looms ominously, ready to strike a final blood-curdling blow to the weary, tired seller, finally ODing on gig 84 of the day.

No more endless revisions.
No more questions described in the gig
No more appeals for discounts that go under $5
No more wondering why orders have dried up.
No more great reviews with awful stars
No more… bullshit.

“Peace,” thinks the seller, too weary to say “At long last. This viciously painful seizure is far more pleasant than my indentured servitude at the hand of petty tyrants.”

Buyer Nosferatu continues onwards with his ominous march, all silky smooth threats, each attenuated to their worst fear with precision aim, marching towards the seller’s body from which spark of life has gone to the sweetness of buyer heaven.

Another husk, to be thrown onto the stinking pile of rotting OD corpses where it will no doubt feed into a secret food economy of… well, we don’t talk about that in polite society.

But then! INTENSE MUSIC [LIKE PSYCHO! OR JAWS!] Suddenly…

The fearsome vampire’s shadow suddenly transforms and shrinks rapidly into a blinking, cowed and embarrassed figure–and make no mistake, that is signs of breakfast in this wild and unkempt buyer beard. The backlight just blew up (the electrician was sourced from Fiverr), and now everyone sees him for who he is!

After a couple of minutes of hesitation, our fearless buyer decides no-one will know the truth, then clicks the “gee, well, this is annoying, let’s cancel” button, before slinking on to the next shadowy encounter.

If only everyone knew who he really was… he keeps asking them, but they just laugh at him, as if he were a retail worker. The indignity of it all.

“Don’t you know who I am,” he finally roars into the now-kinda-empty chamber, with all the invigorated passion of a middle manager who has just been punked by a 12 year old intern yet again. “Obviously not. Well, now, thanks to my review, I AM BUYER, THE DESTROYER OF SELLERS!”

Click.

“Cancelled order, buyer failed to deliver on time!”

Not just an evil smile, but the very laughter of Satan consumed his face and eventually his whole body as he realized that not only had he caused a seller to OD both literally and in a misuse of abbreviations, but he’d also ruined their life. FOREVER. Well, if they were still alive. Artistic license.

                            ****************************

It’s too late. Nosferatu buyer has seen you. A maniacal grin crosses his face as he turns to you and starts to sing ARBEIT MACHT FREI over and over again in a creepy kid voice from a horror movie, throwing dimes at you as you descend into your own private OD hell. You have to turn away, since he is naked and you’d rather OD to work death than look at that literal pile of junk–although, now you’ve thought about it, maybe you’ll be OK–you’d need a magnifying glass, really, and there simply isn’t one in the room. Phew!

There are no doors in this room. Just a small window, where a flickering light betrays the watchers, conducting a new experiment: you.

So, don’t OD. You never know what nutter you might be doing it for, kids. Buyer Nosferatu lurks these corridors, and you may be his next victim.

[fin]

(I guess that turned into more of a mini horror short story than a script, but never mind)

[misscrystal]

It was eerie how I could relate to most of it, as if you could see into my very soul… ( wondering if my first “Cancelled order, buyer failed to deliver on time” will also be my last.)

[emmaki]

Sometimes a cancelled order review etc etc is better than their actual review 😉

I’ve learned that a certain n-word is disallowed on these forums. The one related to the birthday suit. I suppose it’s not going to be used very much in a forum like this so I could let it pass (boo, censorship)

[misscrystal]

You really captured the horror well vis-à-vis petty tyrants.