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I am now a level four seller!

damooch916

By damooch916
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damooch916 Mentor

damooch916

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After many long hours, much coffee and two randomly selected YouTube tutorials promising “huge money on fiverr…”

… I am now a level four seller. 
 

Just as we’ve all been told, level four is not an easy achievement to capture. At first, I was a little hesitant to send in my measurement pictures. Also, I can’t say I understand the whole oath in the mirror thing. The thousand dollar down payment might be a tad excessive. 
 

But, whoa. The perks are tremendous. 
 

Firstly, I can answer messages with real time, life like emojis that mimic my every move. They call it “vid -e- o.” Mind blowing. 
 

Next, buyers are required to send me a sample of their correspondence. I can also sample their money. A lot of it is very crisp. I really appreciate that. 
 

Level four sellers are required to administer stress tests on all of our potential clients. I usually begin the proceedings by subjecting them to moderately harsh conditions. I might say something like: 

“Is that even a real request, you dumpster brained, non-talent?”

Clients appreciate getting right into the evaluation. 
 

Hot Tip: Level 1’s, to demonstrate your commitment to rising the fiverrian ranks, start conducting your stress tests now. This shows your preparedness to be called up to the big dance. 

I no longer have a traditional profile picture. As a level four, I’m required to provide a photo of myself in a Halloween mask. It’s also advised to use a fake name. 
 

You may call me “Higgen Solidbottom.”

 

A giant part of “level four” prep is choosing the right profile description. This is not an easy task. I probably looked at over 200 seller accounts before choosing the “right” description to go with. 
 

As a level four, it’s important to remain in harmony with other top level sellers. I decided to take the description of a songwriter based out of Fresno. Thanks for all the help Tina. 
 

These visual steps are easy to get started on. My advice is for you to take the bull by the horns and start implementing these changes now. This let’s fiverr know that you’re serious. They’ll totally notice. I promise. 
 

That’s pretty much it. But as a token of good will, I’d like to help you on your level four journey. Go ahead and post your “mask pictures,” right here. The level fours will evaluate your aesthetic. We’re here and waiting. 
 

Also, I’ve been authorized to receive your $1000 payment. Feel free to message me and I can get your money to the right people. 
 

It’s like I always say, “there’s no time like this time.” 
 

I’m eager to see your progress.

 

Sincerely,

Higgen Solidbottom 

 

 

katakatica Grand Master

katakatica

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Oh my...

I just rolled out of bed because Sweden is cold and dark until like noon (...Actually it's the same even after but I have to work) and for thiniest second when I saw the title I... doubted you. I applied Mr Solidbottom for my foolishness that comes from the lack of Vitamin D. 

I have already implemented all the changes - is it normal for buyers to swear back at you? Someone had also threatened to what was it again? Re.... port me? As you can see my picture has already been updated (I was told females are allowed to wear hoods instead of mask as to attract more makes?) 

I have already sent my money but haven't received an answer though.... Hm. Should I just send it again?

 

 

 

(Jokes aside I really did stare at the title like a crazy person (might be the messy hair to be fair. This was a hilarious post to get through so early in the morning but I do suspect at least a few might take (if nothing else the title) seriously xD thanks for the laugh!)

damooch916 Mentor

damooch916

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2 hours ago, katakatica said:

I have already implemented all the changes

That’s solid work. I’m assuming you’ve purchased a long term mask solution for your profile picture. Feel free to rotate them. I find that Warner brothers cartoons really diffuses the tension between client and seller. I’m sure you’re doing well - but it will require visual evidence to know for sure. 

 

3 hours ago, katakatica said:

is it normal for buyers to swear back at you?

 It’s abnormal for anyone, at any juncture, to swear at me. Something about my face conveys the total abyss that awaits anyone venturing toward that direction. I blame the coffee.

 Besides, I have four children. There’s no method of torture that a client could inflict  upon me that I haven’t faced by 8 a.m.

4 hours ago, katakatica said:

I do suspect at least a few might take (if nothing else the title) seriousl

If we click our heels three times and form a circle, maybe we can make this happen. Here’s to hope. 

damooch916 Mentor

damooch916

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I would have liked to had seen more serious sellers preparing themselves for such a virtuous undertaking. This is why you’re only level “three and a half.” 

damooch916 Mentor

damooch916

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5 hours ago, storywriter06 said:

me waiting patiently for more fun*

This post is far too long to read. Especially for people pretending to read information and tip posts. 

katakatica Grand Master

katakatica

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23 hours ago, damooch916 said:

 Besides, I have four children. There’s no method of torture that a client could inflict  upon me that I haven’t faced by 8 a.m.

On 11/16/2021 at 10:38 AM, katakatica said:

Fair. As a former nanny... no customer could make me lose my mind than a 9-year-old launching herself on me because 'I KNOW YOU ARE PRETENDING TO SLEEEEEP'....

I actually firmly believe that my patience on this site is due to my former profession 😄

I do wish some -confused- peeps found this post but I agree it's far too long for that. (although most don't actually read posts, so :P) 

damooch916 Mentor

damooch916

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24 minutes ago, katakatica said:

I actually firmly believe that my patience on this site is due to my former profession

It's healthier to use your skill set in client interactions. Things like:
"If you give me all the details of your order - like a good boy - you can go outside and play."

 

damooch916 Mentor

damooch916

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49 minutes ago, storywriter06 said:

You think they read before commenting?

I do. And I think there’s an alternate forum issuing points to their users based on the uselessness of the posts they provide here. Which … if it were true … would be sort of hysterical. I’m for that. 
 

I’m not one of these that instantly hates the forum’s new users. Cry baby business owners? Yes. Tear them down. New or older alike. But the normal ill-informed user doesn’t bother me. I see the hypocrisy in only posting the rules, snarky comments and new user complaints, while simultaneously moaning about the redundant themes of new users. 
 

There’s a lot of forum regulars that should be in mortal fear of this place converting to an “invite only” or “advanced hangout area” type of environment. Without the crutch of bad mouthing the forum, or commenting corrections to the new users they claim to despise, a lot of these folks will lose their identity and have nothing relatable or of value to say. Day in and day out. Always the same. It’s equal. Then they burn out and new regulars come to assume the policing. What never changes is the new user. 

Of course, this is all coming from a guy who has essentially done the same “misinformed forum guy” post for 8 years. In the same tank top. While drinking the same coffee. So what do I know? 

If anything, I’m making fun of what this forum thinks it hates more than the thing itself. 
 

I bet you’re glad that the forum has elected me to do that. Oh, they didn’t? Welp. I guess that makes me no different. Let’s make coffee. 

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