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I just received a message from a prospective buyer that I found entertaining.

First I definitely give kudos to sending me a message first, since a pet peeve of mine is when someone orders without messaging me first despite my requests all over my gig page to always message me first. Anyway he did do that so I can say thanks for getting that part right.

However he goes on in his message about what he needs done (something my gig doesn’t even imply to offer) and then says “interested? Tell me why you deserve this job and why you would you be great at it.” Umm… How about no. Listen, you came to me, not the other way around. This isn’t an interview, I’m not applying to work for you. This is you asking for my help.

Something about asking me why I deserve a job I didn’t even ask for and for a service I don’t even offer rubs me the wrong way.

In conclusion, potential buyer “… Why would you be great it?” my response, “I wouldn’t. Thanks for the message though :-)”

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Reply to @mrproofreading: Exactly! I’m not about to jump through any ridiculous hoops for $3.92 profit. I mean I do work for that amount of money sometimes but I won’t prove myself to anyone who approaches me that way. I guess it’s not as bad as the buyers who send a message asking for a “sample” of my work. Some people are ridiculous

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I meant things like VAT, insurances or any other fees that might be mandatory in your part of the world.

We have a mandatory unemployment insurance fee, retirement insurance fee, accident insurance and vat + most likely something else i forgot, from whats left after those is my profit from which i pay my personal taxes.

Might be just us in europe who have to deal with all that.

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Yeah, I got a message from a “Buyer”, saying he wanted me to do some “Reviews” of his websites, and that he would make it a regular / weekly thing, and that he would soon send me the links.

So I replied, basically saying I don’t offer the kind of service he’s looking for and I wasn’t interested.

He then replies saying like, "Thanks for accepting to do the work. I will soon send you a list of links."

Grrr… So, I reply again, trying to make it clear that I DON’T do the service he’s looking for and I’m not interested.

Then he replies again, wanting me to click on some website links, etc…

Well, I told him to please no longer contact me and reported his messages (it all seemed quite suspicious to me anyways).

Gah! I wonder how many people fall for scams like that (I suspect whatever links he wanted me to click on probably led to malicious or phishing websites).

Be safe people.

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Reply to @lonewolfdon: on a side note, I checked out your page. It appears as though you may have started just recently. I would like to offer encouragement from one newby to another. When I first started I received quite a few scammers, in fact those were the only messages I received. It’s almost like a hazing I feel lol. Trying to trick the new kid. Once you get a couple of real sales though, the scamming isn’t as often. The scammers prefer to prey on the newest and you won’t be new forever I promise 😉

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Reply to @missashley8705: Hiya. Thanks for the kind words of encouragement. Yes, I’m still a new Seller here (though I’ve been a bit of an occasional “lurker” for a couple of months prior to becoming a Seller, checking out the forums and such, bought a couple of Gigs too).

I’m quite computer and internet savvy, and I know to be careful of the scams out there.

You’re probably right that scammers may more target newer Members.

Anyways, I’ll be patient. I plan to add more Gigs (I’m working a preparing new one, but I wanted to make a video for it first), do more promotions, and hopefully in due time I’ll eventually start to get some real orders (and not just spammers and scammers).

Best wishes and good luck to you. 🙂

@goodgift : Yes, you’re right. I think some scammers like that are just looking for any kind of response and don’t actually read (or care) what the reply to them is. But I didn’t want to get dinged for non-replying / slow response time (I’m still learning how some things work here on Fiverr, but if you don’t reply to a message, or slow to repond, will that show on your profile / ratings somehow?). Yes, I had my internal “red-flags” going up and figured it was some kind of scam even on the first message they sent me. I’ll remain vigilant. 🙂

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  • 1 month later...

Here is a part 2 for this rant lol and this one is even better than the first! I have copy and pasted a buyers message to me below:

HI there

I am in need of a VA for a upcoming project which will require long term, efficient, meticulous work and strong communication with both myself and other associates. Hence I enquiring about your services as to check your suitability for the role with a number of criteria. Please ensure to give in-depth and honest answers, false promises will quickly show cracks in the relationship and result in both wasting of our time as well as negative feedback which wont help anyone.

Please confirm:

  1. Number of hours VA work for $5?
  2. Fluent in both written and spoken english? Any qualifications or experience would be helpful.
  3. Number of years VA?
  4. Number of clients VA for at current and at any one time?
  5. Hours of availability (please be honest, some projects with short delivery time may be required). And approx delivery/response time?
  6. 3 Biggest strengths?
  7. Biggest weakness?
  8. Working preference: business or personal projects? Are both available?
  9. Best method of communication with yourself and me? Email or phone? Is both ok?

    Wow! I’m sorry did I seek you out and beg you to hire me? Nope! I should paste my response because it was pretty funny and probably not what the buyer was hoping to hear. Unless you are on the buyer request page, none of us sellers are applying for jobs. We offer a service and it is what it is, take it or leave it. We have our ratings, reviews and descriptions for potential buyers to review and see if they want to work with the us but that’s it. This is Fiverr not a job board. It’s a bunch of small businesses not a bunch of unemployed job seekers. Just like any business, the customer doesn’t have the right to walk-in to a business and slap an application on the owners desk, say “fill this out honestly so I can decide whether or not I will allow you to provide me a service”. I mean I guess you could do that if you wanted to get laughed at and thrown out on your backside. With a 100% customer rating why the heck would I jump through hoops to be in business with a guy like that!

    My favorite part is “false promises will quickly show cracks in the relationship and result in both wasting of our time as well as negative feedback which wont help anyone.” Really?! Not only does this buyer demand that I prove myself but he threatens me with bad ratings! Thanks but I think I will pass.

    I’m blown away by the level of arrogance!

    What do you all think of this situation?
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Reply to @mrproofreading: I am with you on that my friend. Just yesterday I had a guy contact me and ask for a sample that “matched” an audio file he sent. (Tone of voice and such.) I send him a prerecorded sample of a project that I recently did that was EXACTLY like his project. (VO for an app video.) He comes back with, “Cool, can you send me a two sentence sample from my script? I’m still on the fence about you.” (twitch) I respond that since I provide this service at such a huge discount here on Fiverr, I do not provide custom samples for free and I only provide one generic sample free of charge. Custom samples require a gig purchase. He replies, “Well at least can I get music added since my word count is so low?” (neck spasm) I politely respond that I do not do music or sound effects and it states that in my gig description. His response, “I guess I’ll go with you. It’s between you and a guy who’s much better but he’s more expensive. Let’s see what we get.” (twitch twitch) I bristle at that message, debate whether I should cancel the order, but decide to give the guy the benefit of the doubt and deliver it anyway.

He cancels the order after delivery telling me the other guy was better.

(eye twitch)

I accepted cancellation to preserve my rating. We all know he would ding the bajeezus out of me if I refused cancellation. (He might even force cancel through CS, which sucks too.)

So basically, he not only got a free custom sample out of me…he got the whole project for free.

…i had to get that off my chest…



NOTE: All of the buyers comments are paraphrased. (Not by much though) The general meaning of the comment is what is being conveyed here.

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Reply to @theslackjaw: See this is where Fiverr should offer better seller protection. This is a clear cut case of theft. PERIOD! In this situation, Fiverr should refuse to allow the cancellation in any case where the order was delivered as stated originally.

I am so scared of this happening to me, I refuse to do orders of more than a $30 value at a time. This means for big jobs my buyers have to split up the work and if they can’t then I pass on the job. I always explains why I’m doing it that way and most of the time the buyers are shocked at the fact that buyers actually do that (place big orders and then cancel after receiving the work). The lack of seller protection is a major obstacle in my opinion. I feel as though it definitely hurts my financial potential even if nothing happens, it’s the fear of something happening and knowing Fiverr won’t have your back. It’s really too bad.

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Reply to @missashley8705: I’ve been lucky so far. This has only happened to me twice. Both times were on $5 orders. But I’ve had orders around $80-$100 that represent hours worth of work. Thankfully those buyers have been amazing and some of my best repeat customers.

If it had been a larger order, I probably would have taken it up with CS. (If he gave me a negative review based on the reason he gave for cancellation, I believe I would have had grounds to have it removed when all is said and done. But I would have had a negative review on my record for however long it took them to remove it. FUN!)

My only consolation is that while he was refunded the money, he can only use it on other stuff on Fiverr. (Weird way to think I know, but it makes me feel better that he can’t take the money and run. He has to at least invest it into another seller. So at least there’s that.)

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Reply to @missashley8705: The devious side of me would want to reply with an equally long message along the lines of:

Please answer the following in as much detail as possible. Any false claims will just waste our time. (Much like this fruitless exercise.)

  • Why should I, as a seller, accept an order from you to render services? (Essentially, tell me why you are a such a special individual. How are you a “snowflake” if you will.)
  • How long have you been a “buyer.” (Not on Fiverr…in life.)
  • Can you explain in as much detail as you can muster, what makes your money more spendable than anyone else’s?
  • Number of people you have purchased goods or services from? (Again, not just on Fiverr…in life. Please include Name of Business, Name of Representative, and at least three forms of contact. If you have trouble filling out this portion, please include a photo copy of the driver’s license or business license of the person or place of business. Please try to not omit any purchases you have made…ever.)
  • Number of questions you anticipate on sending me throughout the transaction? (3 questions, while annoying, is free of charge. Any more will require a further purchase. Unless of course you purchase the “Pain in the Tuckus Gig Extra” for $40. Please see Gig Extras for details.)
  • Hours of availability. (Why am I asking this? To be honest, I don’t know. You asked for it first. Seemed only fair.)
  • Your top Strength. (Please list only one. Any more than that and you are just bragging.)
  • Your 374 top weaknesses. (Any less than 374 will render the entire response invalid. Also, any weaknesses that relate to, “I’m really too ambitious for my own good.” or “My weakness is caring too much.” will make me hate you. I’ll still take the money though.)
  • Preferred form of contact. (Trick question. It’s Fiverr messaging system. Read the TOS you ninny.)

    Sincerely Yours,

    blah blah blah

    I would then proceed to send messages every 42 minutes requesting the response. (I realize this is not feasible on MANY levels…but it’s fun to dream…)
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