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Top Tip: Don't be a Manic Buyer with Crazy Expectations


cyaxrex

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Have you just had the best ever business idea in the world? Is it so good, so amazing, and so guaranteed to work, that you are finding it hard to control yourself? If so, step away from the computer. NOW.

To put this in context, I occasionally have buyers contact me who I find absolutely terrifying. Moreover, yesterday I had one who came along screaming:

“This is fantastic! I can’t wait to bring you onboard! We’re launching my new app soon and have a month to raise the investment capital we need. In this case, I need to know which of your services I should buy to secure funding of $10,000 on a budget of $50!”

The problem here? This person hasn’t given me the slightest idea what their business actually does. Also, for a buyer like this to realistically expect someone to advise them FOC on what gigs they need to buy is just silly and rude.

It’s silly because someone with a little less integrity than me will probably say, sure, I’ll do x for $50, here’s a custom offer. meanwhile, it’s rude, as prior to ordering, a buyer is basically saying they want a free consultation.

Anyway, I have had more than enough trouble with this kind of buyer in the past. They usually have a business which amounts to the words, “we are the best at what we do” and a domain name, and expect sellers like me to create everything else out of thin air. Then they turn nasty when a sales copy or video doesn’t mention key points such as the fact that they also provide x and x which sellers wouldn’t have had any idea they did in the first place.

In this case, I responded to the above inquiry by asking for more specific information. This then arrived in the form of a url to a website which left me no closer to understanding what the business in question actually did. In fact, it was just a single page website full of freestock images of cars.

So, at this point I sent my standard, “sorry, I wouldn’t be able to help you with this” only for the buyer in question to go manic.

They couldn’t handle the fact that they had found a $5 gig which would supply them with an explainer video, copywriting, and logo creation, but wasn’t prepared to help them. Moreover, this is a key point to understand about manic buyer behavior. Manic buyers never read gig descriptions. You see, I don’t provide explainer videos, copywriting, and logo creation for $5. What this buyer had done, is completely misread my gig description.

In misreading my description, this buyer had come to the conclusion that my “I will create this exact explainer video” gig, meant, “I will create a completely custom explainer video for $5.” In like regard, they had seen my logo PLACEMENT and copywriting extras as free, “I will also create you a logo and use this in your video, as well as provide you with a fantastic sales copy, all for $5!”

Before I could respond, the buyer then informed me that they would definitely be ordering my gig, but to make things easier, they would go away first and create a comic book storyboard for the video they wanted creating and using this, I would then be able to make the best possible video for them for $5.

Now, this is where manic buyers get scary. In this case, I cut straight to the point and told them politely to get a grip and F-off.

The overall lesson here? If you have come to Fiverr because you have the best ever business idea in the world and want to use Fiverr to make that idea become a reality, you need an actual business plan.

Viable businesses are the product of people sitting down, thinking about how to make it happen, actually creating that business themselves, and then coming to Fiverr in order to order the different media they need to market that business.

In fact, the very last thing anyone should ever do, is say, "I’ve got a brilliant idea for the best app in the world ever, before jumping straight to the marketing part of their business without actually creating an app or making the underlying concept intelligible to anyone but themselves.

This being the case, before you come to Fiverr expecting to spend $5 to be able to skip along merrily to millionairehood, calm down and put the kettle on. Then just think for a moment about how you would feel if someone burst into your office one day and started ranting about how they had just realized they could be the next Donald Trump and with this being the case, here’s $5 for you to do all the work they need to make their dream a reality.

Wouldn’t happen, would it? In this case, don’t expect that kind of behavior to fly on Fiverr. As well as insane, it gets to the point where it’s just upsetting to have to deal with.

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“Come on, even you can do that.” (that= some or other variation of ‘everything I´m asking or am not asking for’ incuding major level-10-wizard/warlock/witch divination, and that for 5$ in 24 hours)
(summarized-from-several-sellers’-posts-about-some-or-other-kind-of manic-buyer quote)

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Great post!
I do like to be a little creative when responding to these kind of buyers.
Generally I will start with “Great, can you send me your business plan so I can get up to speed on what your idea is?”.
This tends to lead to “I am working on it” or “I don’t have one because the plan is simple”.
At that point I will say “I need to see a business plan before I can look at this seriously”.
Conversation ends here.
It’s good for imagi-preneurs to hear “I need to see a business plan before I can look at this seriously” a couple of times. And they will, from banks, investors, suppliers, clients and anyone else who is not their mother patting them on their head and telling them their idea is great.

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