Delusional Buyers

[emmaki]

We all know they exist. Share your stories. Here. I’ll start! Someone has an eye butchering clinic. A boutique eye butcher clinic. Gems from their inbox message included words that were meant to be pronounced differently than they were spelled, a desire to pepper French words liberally all over the copy for a je ne sais quoi. As an Englishwoman, I have dreadful school French, so I can oblige, but…

…really? I’m thinking of charging double or triple my usual prices because I have to use un peu de Frenchois. And I am a boutique writer, mon cheri. Or I’m too busy, I haven’t decided yet.

[jamesbulls]

The most frequent delusion my clients have is that they think they can somehow spend $5 and still get me to do three times the work they ordered. How about, no? Basic gig is basic gig. If you don’t like basic gig, order Cadillac gig.

[misscrystal]

Repeated requests from a middle eastern man to make his sister in law have uncontrollable lust for him and ignores my refusals.

[eoinfinnegan]

Non native English speaking buyers who believe their English is better than mine and request revisions of translations based on that belief. When I refuse to modify the work as it would make the text sound ridiculous they get annoyed. Have started sending a small part of an order to the client asap after they order before going further as the idiots have caused me endless hassle this past 6 weeks or so. This way they can show their idiocy before I have spent much time on them.
Thankfully had some ridiculous reviews removed by CS (love you guys) or I might have been in trouble. They have managed to hit my delivered on time rate though, was never below 99% and it now sits on 92%… Dunno where they all came from, it was never an issue before and have had a lot recently.
On the plus side, I recently past the milestone of half a million words translated from Fiverr orders!

[eoinfinnegan]

I’m not middle eastern and I still don’t understand why you won’t do this for me.

[idostuff4u]

I got one this week.
They need me to make changes to their Facebook page and profile (I don’t work on profiles) that I cannot do unless I buy Facebook. They then said they are not happy with my service.

[divyagoel]

I also gone through such buyer…One of my buyer ask me to provide vector file of the design after i completed my whole design when i clearly mentioned that i will design it in Photoshop… I don’t think the buyer doesn’t know the difference between the two been a professional of some brand but he pretends that he doesn’t know that… Buyers must research about the thing they want and then should make a reasonable demands to a seller…

[zeus777]

Not sure if I’d call them “delusional,” but every now and then I get messages from people
who tries to guilt me into doing stuff for a huge discount or free.
“Hi, my name is so and so, I’m working on this charity events for sick children…”

I admit, it does make me feel bad though IF the person was telling me the truth.
But no, I will not do free work, and even if I might give them a bit of a discount, I will decide
how much of a deal they can get.

“but it’s a charity event, please reconsider, this is for a good cause, and the children…”

This is where I stopped.
I told him that he will need to go find another seller who will do
all the work for him with the shoe string budget. I do hope the charity event was a success in
the end though.

Other cases:
Hi, I LOVE your work, but I can’t afford it.

OK, so you LOVE my work, but not to a point where you are willing to pay for it…how sad.

[cyaxrex]

As a rule, treat any charity as a scam. I had one recently who I begrudgingly offered to do an explainer video for $30. (Ridiculously low price).

They had given me a guilt trip about how they desperately needed funds to keep on providing dental and eye care to kids in Africa. However, after the hard sell and me agreeing to the price, the guy sent me a message saying that he needed the video asap as he wanted to travel to Africa himself and needed the money for the plane ticket. - i.e. holiday.

After a in-depth Google search, I then found that the ‘charity’ is actually a one man business without charitable status based out of Texas with assets near half a million. In this case, I didn’t feel bad about telling the guy to go teach his grandma how to suck eggs when he then said that the video wasn’t what he was looking for and wanted to cancel.

[onlinedzshop]

"Hi, i have a video and want you to remove the man in there and change the logo to mine and change the voiceover words to say my name"
What o_O

[catwriter]

A buyer wanted me to write a blurb for her book, and to send her title suggestions. She didn’t like what I sent her even after a revision, so I refunded her.

After a while, she messaged me with the link to her book on Amazon. She wanted me to write a review. To buy her book and write a review, or to write a paid review? I have no idea.

[misscrystal]

Don’t write a paid review. Amazon will make you very sorry if you do.

[misscrystal]

I have two people who have been spamming me with stupid incoherent messages for weeks and the report button does nothing to stop them.

[catwriter]

@misscrystal I don’t offer writing reviews, paid or not, but thank you for pointing out that it’s a bad idea, some newbie might think that a paid review is a legit request.

Do you know what happened with that Amazon lawsuit?

[psychicbunny]

…So you WON’T do the spell for me? lol

[misscrystal]

No I was wondering that also. I doubt anything will come of it.

[emmaki]

I had someone who wanted me to write a product description, which then turned out to be a product review on the 'Zon. I declined to put the review on there and sent a link explaining how it was risky behavior etc and they went from 0-60 about accepting responsibilities (me, not them).

I told them I would ask Customer Support what they thought and post depending on their response. Guess who was banned! It didn’t help that they sent their email and telephone to “discuss” this $5 project either. GTFO.

There was also another numbskull who sent me two product descriptions and no information on what to do with it (wrong gig etc) so I asked them what they wanted. They sent a cancellation request saying that “Seller is clear what they want”. Whatever dude, cancelled.

Neither had good English. Both definitely a bit delusional though. Anyway, I don’t know what’s going on with Amazon re the court stuff, but Fiverr’s definitely clamping down on this. Don’t do it folks.