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Creepy Buyer Case Study


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So, this friend of mine has recently joined Fiverr as a copywriter. He has a lot of experience, but it of course never helped anyone much when just starting here. He’s absolutely cool bananas with that, prepared to do some initial work for (much) less than he would’ve normally charged. However, nothing too crazy like 100500 articles of 10000000 words in length for a single fiver. A low, but reasonable price point, in summary.

Recently, he was contacted by a buyer who stated that to have a good start here, he should lower his prices considerably - and if he is willing to do so, the said buyer would gladly order from him and leave a good review if the work is good. Reads like a lineup of shiny red flags, but my friend decided to send a custom offer anyway - “if the buyer turned is be a poop head, no biggie, it’s the first order after all”.

My friend proceeded to write a really good article (I read it and YES I’m an EXPERT :D) and delivered it way ahead of time. Of course, interesting things started to happen!

First of all, the said buyer claimed he couldn’t open the file and requested modification.

Second, although he clearly knows very well how the website works, he sent a message on the order page that reads like a horrible review, but then proceeded to apologize for doing so “by mistake”, claiming the review was “for a different seller”. It wasn’t an actual review, just a message! Interesting scare tactics, to say the least…

My friend is of course collecting all the screenshots in a cute scrapbook, and we can’t wait to see what’s coming up next in this show.

I was just wondering if anyone had the same kind of creepy buyers, and I’m also collecting bets re: where is this soap opera going.

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I had a buyer on another website a while ago who said “Hi, I see you live in Malta, do you know the area?”

Apparently the guy wanted some regular travel writing done for his site. the only problem is, he decided that since we live so close we should meet for coffee. I declined. However, I made the mistake of letting him know which part of Malta I live in beforehand. A few weeks later, he was therefore messaging me to say things like:

“Hi Andy! Short notice I know, but you’ll never guess what, I’m actually in (the town where I live) today! Fancy that coffee after all?”

I can’t remember now what I said to scare him off (something like the first lesson of psychopath school is that you shouldn’t target a much more accomplished psychopath) but it worked.

Anyway, yes, you get the crazies everywhere. Really, though, you should have just cancelled this order asap.

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Well, lucky for him I’m a crap friend. I’m always busy and whenever I do meet up with people I machete their egos by subtly highlighting the fact that I have a considerably better life than they do.

After an apperol spritz or two, I then tear apart all their morals, aspirations, and material wants and leave people quivering in the wake of what they suddenly realize is a gross cognitive failure on their part to realize the enormity of the present in which they live.

In fact, I’m the worst person to ever try and impress with your recent promotion or fancy new shoes. On the other hand, though, I like to think I’m the best person to raise a glass to a bad day with.

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