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Why I am discouraged to stay away from Fiverr, and never will put anymore cash


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This is my story about why I will NOT be putting any money into Fiverr! Or maybe its a review, Idk I was bored and finished writing my essay, can’t continue writing my book because . . . Hue.

First I would like to tell you about my experience, first of all a massive portion of people on this website are complete crap. No, really, I mean it, absolutely terrible at doing their job. It is either they don’t understand English to the point of me describing something so simple that a two year old could actually understand what my point is, yet these people don’t understand.

“Stop. No, stop.”

"Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, you want me to continue? Yes, yes, yes I do I do!"

Don’t even get me started on these values of gigs and the like! People do Insert bad word here 5 USD on a sketch, A SKETCH! Are you out of your god Insert bad word here mind!? I had an entire continent made with over 100 towns, 20 landmarks and multiple variations for 100 USD on point, the guy also put on a good act of enjoyment for me to see he was actually interested in what I was doing!

“Oh, I realize what the gig says but this is what I’m offering. Soooooooo are ya going to hire me?”

“Oh no, I think I’ll go to Freelancer where I can hire a professional with a long list of variations of work I am requesting. You know, the people that offer a sketch for my imagination to come to agree with the work that is being made, and then color is implemented with possible perks in the future? Oh no, you wouldn’t understand, they charge one solid price and not for pieces of work either.

Now let me make this clear, this website, this horrible experience is for ‘simple gigs’ and even ‘unskilled’ work. However, if I were to guess more than 50% of these people offering the skills they are suppose to have, they DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE!

“Oh, yes I was looking into some java to be done, its simple and easy but I just don’t have time for it.”

“Oh yeah hur dur, I can do dat for jew!”

-1 Week later and an assignment coming up on due date

"Hey, how is progress? It is due tonight and I’ve been busy like I said, you know, having a life and all like college or some Insert bad word here like that, idk flipping burgers.”

"Oh, I’ve been meaning to get to you about that! I am unable to complete this totally easy step 1 by 1 assignment because I lied about my portfolio, well I mean I may have lied but dud3! (I was actually to busy hitting the old punching bag, but I won’t tell him!) Don’t give me a bad review, I’m begging you like every god damn message with please and thank you!"

Oh my Insert bad word here god, and these GIGS. THESE GIGS. No, say this into your head as if you were saying ‘THIS GUY’ because THESE SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED. I literally was about to have a hernia, my liver just imploding and about to exit my anal cavity at a moments notice as I seen these gigs were allowed.

Buyer 1 - "I will pray for you!"

Buyer 2 - "I will dislike a youtube video!"

Buyer 3 - "I will perform dark arts in ritual form by smashing a bird with a rock and spreading the warm blood all over my arm, licking it up and causing a spell to occur and kill that damned person, while all the long clicking my tongue as if I was speaking African and yodeling at the top of my lungs, doing the crab walk over the fire!"

Really? Really fiverr, are you actually going to be like THAT? I’m just going to come to a conclusion that you DON’T want a good reputation. No, really, you DON’T want a good reputation it is obvious, people who want work to be done are going to come onto this website and start thinking who the Insert bad word here is running this website, Hitler or Stalin? Either way, they want one particular thing to coexist and not TWO that is the money going into the website!

"I’m looking for a long term partner to fulfill my needs as a writer, because I want to build a relationship with those I work with on a professional level and not speak on the totally not as productive form of communication called Instant messaging, you know, that thing that most Insert bad word here websites that offer business like this but not on an absolutely 3rd world level?“

NOPE, Here on fiverr we are so paranoid to the point that we censor words, and force you to use post cards to speak with each other. Isn’t that just dandy! Have you ever socialized with somebody, but used a marker and a poster? That is what this is like, LONG AND FRUSTRATING. And every god damn Fiverr agent on this website takes 5-10 days to respond, why in the world do YOU think EYE want to work with you!? You took 5-10 days just to Insert bad word here respond to me, get out of my face, if you don’t have time to do something don’t offer something!


And here on fiverr, we would like to protect your money. And by taking all of your money, and forcing it to stay on our website so you may never take it back on any circumstance, it will be safe. You are damn right, don’t feel like we are being thieves because of what we are doing, be happy that we are protecting your money and basically forcing you to spend it on the services that we offer about 10% of the time. And if ya keep getting bad orders one after another, just cancel it! That way the buyer can put up a fight, waste your time and beg you to not give them a bad review!

“Uhm, yeah, I just spent a big order and I realize I can’t take my money back . . . may I ask why?”

“Oh, well, we are pretty greedy and extremely paranoid. We’ve even taken up censorship to prevent people from communicating outside of our hell- I mean prison- I mean daycare vicinity.”

“Oh . . . Okay.”

-5 Days later and many attempts at spending the money being deprived from the buyer

"Oh, hey back so soon? How was spending your money in Hel-Pri-We mean, on Fiverr?”

"Oh, yeah well I tried. But everybody you have offering services do not actually have time to finish these services . . . and most of them don’t know how to do their jobs . . . and the other services are pretty trolly . . . I mean you are offering a person to kill a bird and -"

Actually, now that I think about it Fiverr does offer this! Fiverr allows people to offer these absolutely trash deals to go through, and I can’t even use the “I’m looking for somebody who will . . .” to look for a longtime Fiverr agent! Well, I’m going to go eat some pizza, get a drink and play some League of Legends. You know, that GAME that ALLOWS you to TAKE YOUR MONEY BACK because they aren’t PARANOID about LOSING BUSINESS. I hope the caps catch the ‘emphasis’ on how much I think this website is a disaster for business.

1/10, the one is for that one order that was actually finished, because I used Freelancer to track the person down, force them to make an account on here and then spend my trapped money. Thank you Freelancer, thank you very much!

10/10 IGN~

Be back soon! :3

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