The Fiverr Forum Dictionary

[damooch916]

Hey all! I’m television’s Steve Allen, but you can call me Tommy.

Most people come to the fiverr forum looking for “tips” on how to make their freelance dreams come true. But learning the ropes can be tricky. Especially when you’re just getting started.

Most frustratingly, we forum regulars use fairly “inside” terms. So, to better help you - I’ve created a “Fiverr Forum Dictionary” so that you can talk just like a pro!

I can’t wait to talk to ya, here we go: 

 

Seller: a person who watched a YouTube video and is now qualified to give advice about fiverr. 

 

Buyer: A person who purchased a ten dollar website on fiverr and then acts amazed when they only receive a landing page with an image of a broken toilet and a caption that reads “Sorry, our site isn’t worth a crap.” 

 

Gig: A service offered by sellers paying other sellers to perform a service. 

 

Fiver forum: An online environment where new sellers tell new sellers how to make money on a site they’ve never made money on. 

 

Seller plus program: The act of paying monthly to watch people speak in riddles over zoom. 

 

Seller Plus Manager: This information is unavailable. 

 

Revision: The process of getting more than you originally paid for by communicating threats.

 

Modification: A button designed with an endless design function, specifically created to make fiverr engineers laugh. 

 

Cancellation: The act of performing a task to completion without compensation.

 

Message: A platform created to experiment with new forms of con artistry. 

 

Review: An enhancement drug designed to make weak people feel stronger.

 

Profile: A gravesite intended for visiting the twenty gigs you designed at the beginning of your freelance journey and that one gig that everyone purchases. 

 

Top Rated Seller: The act of selling breadcrumbs for breadcrumbs as opposed to selling bread slices for money. 

 

Pro Seller: The act of selling breadbaskets for slice prices but behaving really apologetically about it.

 

Algorithm: An omnipotent being that demands worship to enter it’s kingdom, but is too lazy to write down the rules so that you might get in.

 

Gig Bio: A designated area for practicing your deceptions publicly. 

 

Profile Picture: A place holder for Instagram photos that don’t belong to you. 

 

Analytics: A formally diagnosed phobia of numbers with arrows next to them. 

 

Customer Support: A creative writing practice designed to say “do it yourself” in unique ways. 
 

That’s it for now! With these simple references you’ll know what to say, how to say it and what we mean when we say it. Here’s to seeing you out there! 

[yourbrandingpal]

Bookmarked for future reference 😄

[imagination7413]

Discobot has retired, capybara is missing. All hail:

Alg O. Rithm

(Please hold your applause. Conga rats allowed.)

[smashradio]

10 hours ago, damooch916 said:

Fiver forum: An online environment where new sellers tell new sellers how to make money on a site they’ve never made money on. 

My personal favorite. 

Here are some suggestions for this list: 

Portfolio: A beautifully decorated album of all the incredible things you've never done and that no one ever visits.

Response Time: A ticking bomb that no one cares about until it blows up your inbox.

Offer: An insidious tactic that entices buyers with the promise of more for less, but usually delivers less for less.

TOS: An encyclopedic work of literature meant to be ignored until you're caught red-handed, or as we say in Norwegian, get stuck with your beard in the mailbox. 

Fiverr Pro Application: A job interview where the interviewer probably won't show up.

Rating: A social hierarchy determined by a secret society called The Beastly Boosters' Bureau that meets in the shadowy corners of the internet.

Sales: A mythical beast only seen in the sacred texts of The Beastly Boosters' Bureau.

Level System: A brutal ranking hierarchy that makes you question your life choices.

[damooch916]

12 minutes ago, smashradio said:

Here are some suggestions for this list

This is correct. Our language should be a living body of never - ceasing additions. Long live this thread. And long live the King. Which, considering that I am the forum King, is pretty well conceited.
 

Here’s to staying on brand. 

[zeus777]

Oh your majesty, I thank you for the entertainment while I sip my afternoon coffee with my pistachio cupcake (seriously, I really had it)

I wonder how long it will take till you get "OK thank you for your advice but how do I get sales" replies.

 

14 hours ago, damooch916 said:

Gig Bio: A designated area for practicing your deceptions publicly. 

I think this is my favorite part. GOSH it's so true...

[imagination7413]

Headline: Ever since the forum king mentioned it, Alg O. Rithm insists the 'O' stands for 'omnipotent', though scandalous records imply it actually stands for 'opaque'. (stay tuned)

Headline: Confusion among mek-sel community rampages as Regulars react to top-tier help list with 🤣 (full story pg 3.14)

Headline: Tommy averts accusations of altruistic assertion, adamantly announces appalled abjuration (more at 11 yesterday) 

[damooch916]

40 minutes ago, imagination7413 said:

Headline: Tommy averts accusations of altruistic assertion, adamantly announces appalled abjuration (more at 11 yesterday) 

A statement from Swifty Flannagan, Legal Council for the defendant:

As it relates to the matter of “The Entire Freelance Ecosystem VS Jones,” I have been authorized to comment, in as much as these slanderous charges could even be appraised to contain the merit worthy of such pomposity, that my client, King Mooch, Tommy of Jones, He who is with much espresso, Ruler of the slow drip, Master Satirist in charge, Keeper of the Good Foot, Lord of Tank Top-olis, Sir Funks-a-Lot, “Doc”  Holli-Slay and “The Liege Who brings ya to your knees”, hereby denounces these insidious accusations and we plan to prove his innocence through legal, moral and systematic means.

 

Also, we don’t plan to do any of that. 

 

One doesn’t simply bring charges against the King. One doesn’t simply step to “thou-who-shan’t-be steppethed toward”. One doesn’t simply tug on Superman’s cape. One doesn’t simply spit in the wind. One doesn’t simply pull the mask of the ol’ Lone Ranger and one doesn’t simply mess around with Jim.

 

These truths are regarded with great profundity and are inviolable realities of every freelancer the world over (or at least like 15 people on this forum).

 

Also, and you may consider this as more of a communicated account for your appraisal and less of an obvious threat, the King is sorta … uh … vicious?

 

We don’t make such proclamations around the office. We shroud these bits of phenomena in much wrapping and say things like “eccentric,” or “too wise for conventionalism” or “Oh my God, the King is here and he hasn’t had his coffee yet.”

 

Anyways. 

 

The King says, “Nay.”

 

Then he says, “Attorney,” Even though he’s known me for like twenty years and could easily call me Swifty.

 

Then he says, “Who is that person fetching the Kings coffee?”

 

And I say, “Why King, that’s the Royal coffee fetcher. His name is Sa…”

 

And then the King cuts me off and yells, 

“IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT HIS NAME IS!” 

 

And he laughs and laughs. Which means I’m forced to laugh, even though that bit is like 25 years old and even The Rock is tired of hearing it.

 

So, ya know, the King doesn’t accept or whatever. 

 

Thank you. 

[proconsultn2035]

Noted. Thanks for this dictionary. 

[wix_dev_01]

Hilarious 😂😂

All the made suggestions are truly depiction of the Fiverr reality 😂😂

[theratypist]

Hahahaha, this was a good read! Actually, there are other unique Fiverr forum terms coined through the years such as Congress. 

Perhaps I should start a ghetto version? @newsmike 🤣