Five Tips to Defeat Your Fiverr Slump.

[damooch916]

Recessions. Financial crashes. Slumps.

These are the words that drive fear into the hearts of even the most seasoned freelancer. Also, unrelatedly, we hate the word “uncouth.” 

In a time of universal metric decline - having the skills to negotiate your sales slump is the only way to get beyond the hardships and make it to the other side. 
 

Presented here are 5 tips guaranteed to change your freelance-slump approach and make an immediate difference. 
 

1. Bother your former clients and beg them to purchase from you: 

Research indicates that customers appreciate an aggressive, non solicited, pushy sales approach. According to the “University of Redundant concepts that are redundant,” customers respond best to: moaning, desperation, blabber talk and they are especially responsive to spittle during an existential crying fit.  

But … customers are notorious for their elusive ways. Most will play coy when approached for money. They may say something like, “hey, stop bothering me you cheap, dirty bum.” 

 

Don’t fall for that old gag.

 

A good customer knows the value of negotiation. With enough hydration, you can keep a good sobbing going for thirty minutes. Stand firm and demand they lift you from your worrisome position. Remind them, “oh yeah, well the customer’s always right - and you haven’t paid for crap in months.” 

 

And just watch the money pour in. 

 

2. Panic and create new gigs that have nothing to do with your freelancing career. 

You’ve always wanted to create that gig … that one special gig that will sky rocket your sales into the stratosphere. And now, with a market level so low you’d need a breathing tank to touch the bottom, it’s time to launch it. 

Dreaming about your “I will teach you to make toast” gig? Do it. Thinking about your “I will tell you what to watch on Netflix” gig? Go for it. 

Deep down inside, you’ve always known that yodeling was primed for an epic comeback. So what if your vertical is “copywriting,” it’s time to make with the throat juggling, cowpoke. 

You’ve suffered enough. Why keep a consistent theme to your gigs when the whole world is waiting to discover your waist naked mime routine? 

 

 

3. Steal a better profile. 

Tired of your contemporaries having all the cool gig images? Are you sick of the jealousy eating away at you as you read from stellar competitor bios? Are you just completely over that sinking feeling of knowing your rivals have better example materials than you have? 

Not anymore you’re not. With my new revolutionary method, you can have all the glitz and glamour your opposition enjoys without any of the work. 

 

I call it: stealing (ˈstēliNG)

 

Establishing a professional profile is hard. There’s the issues of limited space to explain your offerings, having to create decent material to showcase your skills - and, of course, your profile image is so ill-fitted it looks like it came from the warp-an-image maker at a 90’s Chuck E. Cheese. 

With stealing, you’ll never have to wonder about “what the public thinks of your material,” “how to beta test your examples” “originality,” and many other disgusting, time wasting activities. 

 

Stop worrying. Try stealing today. 

 

4. Drastically lower your prices. 

In a recent poll, “having food” ranked significantly higher to “not having food.” But the study lacked long term evaluations - and for this purpose it’s been determine that:

 

Nutrition is overrated. 

 

By lowering your prices to unlivable wages, you guarantee the long term companionship of clients who will spend countless, magical hours asking for the most trivial revisions and self important complaints. After all, there’s conclusive evidence that people thrive when coupled with others. 

Besides, wages are materialistic. Stop being a slave to obtuse concepts like “shelter” and “clothing.”

By obliterating your prices, you send a message to the world that says, “even though my work isn’t valuable - my charming personality totally is.” 

 

5. Blame Fiverr. 

You shouldn’t have to be a victim of cultural relevancy just to be a victim. Blaming the system is so 2019. Not to mention, victimhood hasn’t been Freudian since music was played by human musician people, so stop mentioning your parents lame-o. You’re gonna need an entirely new target. 

 

So, blame fiverr. 

 

Blaming fiverr for your crumbling business strategy is not only fun, it’s an expected trait of the seasoned professional. By blaming fiverr, you showcase yourself as a tried and true major league player, ready to make the big leap to TRS - and perhaps - the coveted “PRO” title. 

 

Try some of these widely accepted grievances: 

 

“Just look at it. All smug. With that extra “r” and it’s weird green fetish. This slump is Fiverr’s fault.” 

 

Now try this one:

 

“How’s about you stop with the numbers fixation fiverr and get to your real job, finding all my customers? Pervert.”

 

You’re doing great! 

 

A slump is no time to evaluate inwardly, lost in some self reflective meditation and rummaging through the basement of your soul to stumble upon discarded solutions. No. You’ve got to assign blame and get to blaming. 

 

And fiverr is always close enough to take the heat. 

 

 

Congratulations! You are now prepared to enhance the seller experience by combating with your sales slump. Go out in confidence, knowing that this information you’re receiving has been tested and verified. 

 

Because using these methods will absolutely get you results. So when you get them, know that you probably deserved them. 

 

(Warning: The contents of this message in no way reflects the thoughts and opinions of fiverr, any Top Rated Seller, the fiverr forum, other forums, left handed drummers, those weird guys who go to dance clubs just to stand by a wall and watch you, the civilized planet, the uncivilized beings of other planets, or anyone reading this disclaimer either in person or telepathically. 

You hold fiverr and its affiliates completely harmless for any damage, perceived or otherwise, that may result from having tried these so-called methods. Don’t even think about it. In fact, just stop what you’re doing and read the TOS. 

You also agree to hold Damooch harmless. Though none of us would consider this dangerous character “harmless.” He’s clearly one crayon short of the full color wheel. He just showed up one day, scared all the high rollers with his weird satire, screamed at a bunch of psychics, tore off his tank top and yelled “Hulk Hogan is my spirit animal!” We actually got an intern to confront him about this aggressive “comedy (as he likes to call it).” Needless to say, we haven’t seen that intern since. We just elected to let him stay after that.

Again, we do not condone following the advice of Damooch. Or possibly even allowing him within 50 feet of an active thought process. 

You’ve been warned.)  

[katakatica]

So... I started calling days without orders 'involuntary vacation' in my head, which makes life a bit easier. No work? That's okay, go and do some errands you've been pushing on for ages. (though for me, that does include  working on my gigs, so...)

(Love the post, though I do hope it won't be misunderstood.... or that it will? Which one applies in this case?) I did actually consider decreasing my prices for like, two days, though, but I quickly realized that does NOT work. 

 

[emely_mm]

16 hours ago, damooch916 said:

Recessions. Financial crashes. Slumps.

These are the words that drive fear into the hearts of even the most seasoned freelancer. Also, unrelatedly, we hate the word “uncouth.” 

In a time of universal metric decline - having the skills to negotiate your sales slump is the only way to get beyond the hardships and make it to the other side. 
 

Presented here are 5 tips guaranteed to change your freelance-slump approach and make an immediate difference. 
 

1. Bother your former clients and beg them to purchase from you: 

Research indicates that customers appreciate an aggressive, non solicited, pushy sales approach. According to the “University of Redundant concepts that are redundant,” customers respond best to: moaning, desperation, blabber talk and they are especially responsive to spittle during an existential crying fit.  

But … customers are notorious for their elusive ways. Most will play coy when approached for money. They may say something like, “hey, stop bothering me you cheap, dirty bum.” 

 

Don’t fall for that old gag.

 

A good customer knows the value of negotiation. With enough hydration, you can keep a good sobbing going for thirty minutes. Stand firm and demand they lift you from your worrisome position. Remind them, “oh yeah, well the customer’s always right - and you haven’t paid for crap in months.” 

 

And just watch the money pour in. 

 

2. Panic and create new gigs that have nothing to do with your freelancing career. 

You’ve always wanted to create that gig … that one special gig that will sky rocket your sales into the stratosphere. And now, with a market level so low you’d need a breathing tank to touch the bottom, it’s time to launch it. 

Dreaming about your “I will teach you to make toast” gig? Do it. Thinking about your “I will tell you what to watch on Netflix” gig? Go for it. 

Deep down inside, you’ve always known that yodeling was primed for an epic comeback. So what if your vertical is “copywriting,” it’s time to make with the throat juggling, cowpoke. 

You’ve suffered enough. Why keep a consistent theme to your gigs when the whole world is waiting to discover your waist naked mime routine? 

 

 

3. Steal a better profile. 

Tired of your contemporaries having all the cool gig images? Are you sick of the jealousy eating away at you as you read from stellar competitor bios? Are you just completely over that sinking feeling of knowing your rivals have better example materials than you have? 

Not anymore you’re not. With my new revolutionary method, you can have all the glitz and glamour your opposition enjoys without any of the work. 

 

I call it: stealing (ˈstēliNG)

 

Establishing a professional profile is hard. There’s the issues of limited space to explain your offerings, having to create decent material to showcase your skills - and, of course, your profile image is so ill-fitted it looks like it came from the warp-an-image maker at a 90’s Chuck E. Cheese. 

With stealing, you’ll never have to wonder about “what the public thinks of your material,” “how to beta test your examples” “originality,” and many other disgusting, time wasting activities. 

 

Stop worrying. Try stealing today. 

 

4. Drastically lower your prices. 

In a recent poll, “having food” ranked significantly higher to “not having food.” But the study lacked long term evaluations - and for this purpose it’s been determine that:

 

Nutrition is overrated. 

 

By lowering your prices to unlivable wages, you guarantee the long term companionship of clients who will spend countless, magical hours asking for the most trivial revisions and self important complaints. After all, there’s conclusive evidence that people thrive when coupled with others. 

Besides, wages are materialistic. Stop being a slave to obtuse concepts like “shelter” and “clothing.”

By obliterating your prices, you send a message to the world that says, “even though my work isn’t valuable - my charming personality totally is.” 

 

5. Blame Fiverr. 

You shouldn’t have to be a victim of cultural relevancy just to be a victim. Blaming the system is so 2019. Not to mention, victimhood hasn’t been Freudian since music was played by human musician people, so stop mentioning your parents lame-o. You’re gonna need an entirely new target. 

 

So, blame fiverr. 

 

Blaming fiverr for your crumbling business strategy is not only fun, it’s an expected trait of the seasoned professional. By blaming fiverr, you showcase yourself as a tried and true major league player, ready to make the big leap to TRS - and perhaps - the coveted “PRO” title. 

 

Try some of these widely accepted grievances: 

 

“Just look at it. All smug. With that extra “r” and it’s weird green fetish. This slump is Fiverr’s fault.” 

 

Now try this one:

 

“How’s about you stop with the numbers fixation fiverr and get to your real job, finding all my customers? Pervert.”

 

You’re doing great! 

 

A slump is no time to evaluate inwardly, lost in some self reflective meditation and rummaging through the basement of your soul to stumble upon discarded solutions. No. You’ve got to assign blame and get to blaming. 

 

And fiverr is always close enough to take the heat. 

 

 

Congratulations! You are now prepared to enhance the seller experience by combating with your sales slump. Go out in confidence, knowing that this information you’re receiving has been tested and verified. 

 

Because using these methods will absolutely get you results. So when you get them, know that you probably deserved them. 

 

(Warning: The contents of this message in no way reflects the thoughts and opinions of fiverr, any Top Rated Seller, the fiverr forum, other forums, left handed drummers, those weird guys who go to dance clubs just to stand by a wall and watch you, the civilized planet, the uncivilized beings of other planets, or anyone reading this disclaimer either in person or telepathically. 

You hold fiverr and its affiliates completely harmless for any damage, perceived or otherwise, that may result from having tried these so-called methods. Don’t even think about it. In fact, just stop what you’re doing and read the TOS. 

You also agree to hold Damooch harmless. Though none of us would consider this dangerous character “harmless.” He’s clearly one crayon short of the full color wheel. He just showed up one day, scared all the high rollers with his weird satire, screamed at a bunch of psychics, tore off his tank top and yelled “Hulk Hogan is my spirit animal!” We actually got an intern to confront him about this aggressive “comedy (as he likes to call it).” Needless to say, we haven’t seen that intern since. We just elected to let him stay after that.

Again, we do not condone following the advice of Damooch. Or possibly even allowing him within 50 feet of an active thought process. 

You’ve been warned.)  

Top notch sarcasm. You must be a handful at parties

[newsmike]

19 hours ago, damooch916 said:

Recessions. Financial crashes. Slumps.

These are the words that drive fear into the hearts of even the most seasoned freelancer. Also, unrelatedly, we hate the word “uncouth.” 

In a time of universal metric decline - having the skills to negotiate your sales slump is the only way to get beyond the hardships and make it to the other side. 
 

Presented here are 5 tips guaranteed to change your freelance-slump approach and make an immediate difference. 
 

1. Bother your former clients and beg them to purchase from you: 

Research indicates that customers appreciate an aggressive, non solicited, pushy sales approach. According to the “University of Redundant concepts that are redundant,” customers respond best to: moaning, desperation, blabber talk and they are especially responsive to spittle during an existential crying fit.  

But … customers are notorious for their elusive ways. Most will play coy when approached for money. They may say something like, “hey, stop bothering me you cheap, dirty bum.” 

 

Don’t fall for that old gag.

 

A good customer knows the value of negotiation. With enough hydration, you can keep a good sobbing going for thirty minutes. Stand firm and demand they lift you from your worrisome position. Remind them, “oh yeah, well the customer’s always right - and you haven’t paid for crap in months.” 

 

And just watch the money pour in. 

 

2. Panic and create new gigs that have nothing to do with your freelancing career. 

You’ve always wanted to create that gig … that one special gig that will sky rocket your sales into the stratosphere. And now, with a market level so low you’d need a breathing tank to touch the bottom, it’s time to launch it. 

Dreaming about your “I will teach you to make toast” gig? Do it. Thinking about your “I will tell you what to watch on Netflix” gig? Go for it. 

Deep down inside, you’ve always known that yodeling was primed for an epic comeback. So what if your vertical is “copywriting,” it’s time to make with the throat juggling, cowpoke. 

You’ve suffered enough. Why keep a consistent theme to your gigs when the whole world is waiting to discover your waist naked mime routine? 

 

 

3. Steal a better profile. 

Tired of your contemporaries having all the cool gig images? Are you sick of the jealousy eating away at you as you read from stellar competitor bios? Are you just completely over that sinking feeling of knowing your rivals have better example materials than you have? 

Not anymore you’re not. With my new revolutionary method, you can have all the glitz and glamour your opposition enjoys without any of the work. 

 

I call it: stealing (ˈstēliNG)

 

Establishing a professional profile is hard. There’s the issues of limited space to explain your offerings, having to create decent material to showcase your skills - and, of course, your profile image is so ill-fitted it looks like it came from the warp-an-image maker at a 90’s Chuck E. Cheese. 

With stealing, you’ll never have to wonder about “what the public thinks of your material,” “how to beta test your examples” “originality,” and many other disgusting, time wasting activities. 

 

Stop worrying. Try stealing today. 

 

4. Drastically lower your prices. 

In a recent poll, “having food” ranked significantly higher to “not having food.” But the study lacked long term evaluations - and for this purpose it’s been determine that:

 

Nutrition is overrated. 

 

By lowering your prices to unlivable wages, you guarantee the long term companionship of clients who will spend countless, magical hours asking for the most trivial revisions and self important complaints. After all, there’s conclusive evidence that people thrive when coupled with others. 

Besides, wages are materialistic. Stop being a slave to obtuse concepts like “shelter” and “clothing.”

By obliterating your prices, you send a message to the world that says, “even though my work isn’t valuable - my charming personality totally is.” 

 

5. Blame Fiverr. 

You shouldn’t have to be a victim of cultural relevancy just to be a victim. Blaming the system is so 2019. Not to mention, victimhood hasn’t been Freudian since music was played by human musician people, so stop mentioning your parents lame-o. You’re gonna need an entirely new target. 

 

So, blame fiverr. 

 

Blaming fiverr for your crumbling business strategy is not only fun, it’s an expected trait of the seasoned professional. By blaming fiverr, you showcase yourself as a tried and true major league player, ready to make the big leap to TRS - and perhaps - the coveted “PRO” title. 

 

Try some of these widely accepted grievances: 

 

“Just look at it. All smug. With that extra “r” and it’s weird green fetish. This slump is Fiverr’s fault.” 

 

Now try this one:

 

“How’s about you stop with the numbers fixation fiverr and get to your real job, finding all my customers? Pervert.”

 

You’re doing great! 

 

A slump is no time to evaluate inwardly, lost in some self reflective meditation and rummaging through the basement of your soul to stumble upon discarded solutions. No. You’ve got to assign blame and get to blaming. 

 

And fiverr is always close enough to take the heat. 

 

 

Congratulations! You are now prepared to enhance the seller experience by combating with your sales slump. Go out in confidence, knowing that this information you’re receiving has been tested and verified. 

 

Because using these methods will absolutely get you results. So when you get them, know that you probably deserved them. 

 

(Warning: The contents of this message in no way reflects the thoughts and opinions of fiverr, any Top Rated Seller, the fiverr forum, other forums, left handed drummers, those weird guys who go to dance clubs just to stand by a wall and watch you, the civilized planet, the uncivilized beings of other planets, or anyone reading this disclaimer either in person or telepathically. 

You hold fiverr and its affiliates completely harmless for any damage, perceived or otherwise, that may result from having tried these so-called methods. Don’t even think about it. In fact, just stop what you’re doing and read the TOS. 

You also agree to hold Damooch harmless. Though none of us would consider this dangerous character “harmless.” He’s clearly one crayon short of the full color wheel. He just showed up one day, scared all the high rollers with his weird satire, screamed at a bunch of psychics, tore off his tank top and yelled “Hulk Hogan is my spirit animal!” We actually got an intern to confront him about this aggressive “comedy (as he likes to call it).” Needless to say, we haven’t seen that intern since. We just elected to let him stay after that.

Again, we do not condone following the advice of Damooch. Or possibly even allowing him within 50 feet of an active thought process. 

You’ve been warned.)  

Tommy, funny, but I guarantee that meksells are already following the advice.  Remember sarcasm only works in English.

 

[vickiespencer]

1 hour ago, newsmike said:

I guarantee that meksells are already following the advice.

Naw, they have all of this advice to follow first!

[leannelrivers]

2 hours ago, vickiespencer said:

Naw, they have all of this advice to follow first!

Best Fiverr gigs for beginners with no experience. Classic. 

[donnovan86]

4 hours ago, newsmike said:

Tommy, funny, but I guarantee that meksells are already following the advice.  Remember sarcasm only works in English.

 

Meksells already made copies of our gigs anyway. I found a dude on another platform that used my icon, image, gig description, everything from Fiverr. He also copied my username there. So there will always be meksells and people trying to make money with ease. I don't see why you would copy others instead of branding yourself...

[catwriter]

4 hours ago, newsmike said:

Tommy, funny, but I guarantee that meksells are already following the advice

And then they get themselves banned.

And if more of them do it... Well, Tommy's post will turn into a great service to the community.

7 minutes ago, donnovan86 said:

I don't see why you would copy others instead of branding yourself...

Because you don't have the slightest clue how to brand yourself, and prefer cheating to learning?

[donnovan86]

15 minutes ago, catwriter said:

Because you don't have the slightest clue how to brand yourself, and prefer cheating to learning?

Yeah, because that will get them VERY far... :))

[catwriter]

14 minutes ago, donnovan86 said:

Yeah, because that will get them VERY far... :))

Their "senior person" said it would...

[damooch916]

Stop it.

Seriously. Just stop it right there.

Apparently there is a vicious rumor circling this post. It suggests that I created this thread for the sole purpose of ridding fiverr of an innumerable amount of shady, bad seller types. The theory being: by using any of my lightly ban-flavored tips, disingenuous sellers will out themselves for their evil deeds and face platform excommunication.  

An implication like that … that I would lower myself to blatant trickery and operate with hidden motives … that is sickening. How you could even think of me as someone with such a bent cause … it’s hurtful and a terrible slashing to my character.

Don’t you know that I never do anything for positive change?

You’re making me out to be some sort of gross humanitarian. Yuck.

Now hear this: My free form writing operates solely in the service of useless shenanigans. I won’t stand idly by and allow for you “good and reputable” sorts to turn my essays into some sort of “sensical point.” Next, you’ll be dressing me in sleeved shirts and making soul mashing comments like, “Mooch’s last work was so respectable.”

Well, I’ll have you know that Mooch’s work will never be respectable. Not ever.

Think about my work like a large car pile up on a long stretch of highway. Now imagine that in the center of this pile up - a fleet of large big rigs have turned over, liberating an entire circus worth of exotic animals, mostly roaming in the fast lane, with the exception of a few lions who have taken it upon themselves to emancipate some nearby passengers for a late lunch. Now add a marching band. Which seems inappropriate, given the horrific nature of lions eating Kia owners, but there they are and they’re playing some kind of competitive sports theme. This immediately enrages a pack of leather clad, hardened biker types. But their attempts to silence the marching band are thwarted by over-sized, sweatsuit wearing ruffians and the only way to resolve their conflict is through a breakdancing battle. Only, the marching band doesn’t actually know any breakdancing material. But that’s fine - because deceased songwriter Warren Zevon has commandeered the band and is leading them in a rousing rendition of his all time classic, “Lawyers, guns and money.” Which, given that you don’t see zombie musicians perform with marching bands everyday, explains why no one noticed the gasoline dripping from the largest big rig, webbing itself under numerous vehicles and collecting perfectly underneath the feet of a nearby clown, unfazed and slouched on the hood of a dodge. And did I mention that he’s smoking? He’s a clown. The implication is that he’s smoking. With sun squinted eyes and morbid curiosity, he eyeballs the deadly substance beneath him - and for one small minute - the clown feels the full burden of controlling destiny itself.

That. That is the meaning of my writing. Not all this “good samaritan” silliness or nebulous moral crusading.

After all these years, can’t you at least allow me the dignity to call my materials arbitrary? Do you have any idea how long it took to cultivate this reputation of sounding like a thesaurus eating a hand grenade? And here you guys are, my supposed friends, undoing years of utter blabber by assigning “meaning” to my work.

I swear. If just one new kid says a damn thing about “understanding my intention,” it’s curtains for all of you. I would never forgive you if I thought anyone could “read” into my posts and … learn something … 

Its like you don’t even know me. 

[catwriter]

There, there...

[newsmike]

1 hour ago, damooch916 said:

Stop it.

Seriously. Just stop it right there.

Apparently there is a vicious rumor circling this post. It suggests that I created this thread for the sole purpose of ridding fiverr of an innumerable amount of shady, bad seller types. The theory being: by using any of my lightly ban-flavored tips, disingenuous sellers will out themselves for their evil deeds and face platform excommunication.  

An implication like that … that I would lower myself to blatant trickery and operate with hidden motives … that is sickening. How you could even think of me as someone with such a bent cause … it’s hurtful and a terrible slashing to my character.

Don’t you know that I never do anything for positive change?

You’re making me out to be some sort of gross humanitarian. Yuck.

Now hear this: My free form writing operates solely in the service of useless shenanigans. I won’t stand idly by and allow for you “good and reputable” sorts to turn my essays into some sort of “sensical point.” Next, you’ll be dressing me in sleeved shirts and making soul mashing comments like, “Mooch’s last work was so respectable.”

Well, I’ll have you know that Mooch’s work will never be respectable. Not ever.

Think about my work like a large car pile up on a long stretch of highway. Now imagine that in the center of this pile up - a fleet of large big rigs have turned over, liberating an entire circus worth of exotic animals, mostly roaming in the fast lane, with the exception of a few lions who have taken it upon themselves to emancipate some nearby passengers for a late lunch. Now add a marching band. Which seems inappropriate, given the horrific nature of lions eating Kia owners, but there they are and they’re playing some kind of competitive sports theme. This immediately enrages a pack of leather clad, hardened biker types. But their attempts to silence the marching band are thwarted by over-sized, sweatsuit wearing ruffians and the only way to resolve their conflict is through a breakdancing battle. Only, the marching band doesn’t actually know any breakdancing material. But that’s fine - because deceased songwriter Warren Zevon has commandeered the band and is leading them in a rousing rendition of his all time classic, “Lawyers, guns and money.” Which, given that you don’t see zombie musicians perform with marching bands everyday, explains why no one noticed the gasoline dripping from the largest big rig, webbing itself under numerous vehicles and collecting perfectly underneath the feet of a nearby clown, unfazed and slouched on the hood of a dodge. And did I mention that he’s smoking? He’s a clown. The implication is that he’s smoking. With sun squinted eyes and morbid curiosity, he eyeballs the deadly substance beneath him - and for one small minute - the clown feels the full burden of controlling destiny itself.

That. That is the meaning of my writing. Not all this “good samaritan” silliness or nebulous moral crusading.

After all these years, can’t you at least allow me the dignity to call my materials arbitrary? Do you have any idea how long it took to cultivate this reputation of sounding like a thesaurus eating a hand grenade? And here you guys are, my supposed friends, undoing years of utter blabber by assigning “meaning” to my work.

I swear. If just one new kid says a damn thing about “understanding my intention,” it’s curtains for all of you. I would never forgive you if I thought anyone could “read” into my posts and … learn something … 

Its like you don’t even know me. 

Great informations, go more ahead. 

[imagination7413]

1 hour ago, damooch916 said:

lions eating Kia owners,

The ones who don't keep their service records, I do  believe, are especially vulnerable. 

[vickiespencer]

13 hours ago, vickiespencer said:

Naw, they have all of this advice to follow first!

Lol, most of the users who liked my image of Fiverr gurus who spread false info were Mek Sells! 🤣

Edited June 7, 2023 by vickiespencer

[florenciafarkas]

Thank you! this is funny, even though i was really stressed when it happened to me 😅

[zeus777]

I don't come to the forum as much as I used to because I believe this place is being flooded with silly repetitive posts, but boy am I glad I decided to drop by.
I was able to read this post!!
I do need to point out though, has it already been deleted, or am I not seeing ANY of those "great advice thank you surr" posts!!??

[damooch916]

4 hours ago, zeus777 said:

has it already been deleted, or am I not seeing ANY of those "great advice thank you surr" posts!!??

No, not deleted.

Its fair to suggest that my threads live in a different cosmological model to the forum universe proper.

My posts are so normative destroying, so back handed in its verisimilitude and so beyond fiverr regularity - they should begin with a Rod Serling monologue.

Which is fitting, because you’re not currently experiencing this reply in any normal dimension anyways. My posts reroute to the exterior of a mirror universe, currently deflating, disabling all out-of-tune sellers from actually viewing  this conversation.

Think of it like an inter-dimensional vpn.

So, congratulations! You’re one of the chosen few who have been selected, plucked from the constraints of reality and dropped into an alternate macrocosm.

Unfortunately, you may have to learn a demented moral lesson, brought about by a twist ending. Also, I would totally avoid ventriloquist dummies while in this dimension …

… a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. 

 

 

 

[miiila]

Despite the eloquence and relevancy that will make readers double check if they erroneously clicked through to the NYT feature article instead of the green forum, anyone one might not want to follow these hot sauce tips, should know what's up pretty much at the start, at "guaranteed", all the more, as the King was kind enough to even go the extra mile and click the cursive font button on it for the ones of us forum subjects who, for some cruel turn of fate, browse the forum before their first extra strong espresso of the day. Thank you. 5 tips, too, and nobody really cares what meksells do, anyway, because they can't be helped, anyhow, so... I'd rate it 5/5. I'd rate it 10/5, but it lacks some all-caps clickbait titles in font size 72, bold, and bright green, and a long list of thanks for the tips comments. Not that the author has any influence on the latter, but that's how rating works, we can rate whatever and however we like, as long as it doesn't violate the terms, right? 😉

 

[zeus777]

15 hours ago, miiila said:

hot sauce tips

HOT SAUCE TIPS....I kinda like that!! I think I'll use that....well, someday. It's gonna make me sound cool for sure! 😁

(btw I myself am not a big fan of actual hot sauce. I like my sauce to be mild and sweet)

[proconsultn2035]

Great sarcastic piece. 

[newsmike]

On 6/10/2023 at 5:30 AM, miiila said:

Despite the eloquence and relevancy that will make readers double check if they erroneously clicked through to the NYT feature article instead of the green forum,

Could have not been confused with the NYT, as it lacks their hallmark conclusion as demonstrated in this fable:

Four Headlines on the day the world ends

God decided He was finally fed up with the human race and decided to end it for good. He called up a reporter at the New York Times to tell him the news: The world would end the day after tomorrow.

The reporter tried to talk God out of it, but God was firm and wouldn't be swayed. The reporter then asked if he had an exclusive. God said that He was going to call three other newspapers.

Headlines the next day:

The Washington Post: "God says world to end tomorrow; story and analysis on page B11."

The Wall Street Journal: "God says world to end tomorrow; market to close early"

USA Today: "IT'S OVER!"

The New York Times: "God says world to end tomorrow; women and minorities hardest hit."

 

[mandyzines]

I thought this post was going to be serious when I read the intro! Thanks for not disappointing me.

I blame Fiverr for finally becoming a 'choice' during the apocalypse. 

[looseink]

The sarcasm in this thread must have been AI-generated.

[damooch916]

1 hour ago, looseink said:

The sarcasm in this thread must have been AI-generated

Been a long time looseink. I’m not sure that I catch your drift.