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Fiverr Evaluation Criteria/Methodology


asifkhan328
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  • asifkhan328 changed the title to Fiverr Evaluation Criteria/Methodology
4 hours ago, asifkhan328 said:

Fiverr evaluates seller profiles manually by any tech guy or system do automatically (e.g some kind of algorithms that promote seller profiles)???

Your seller Analytics page will show you everything you need to know in order to be promoted to the next seller level.

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Hey, this is Brian from the “Carers for Customer Care” department.

Typically we don’t post in the forum. Mostly, my job is to diffuse some totally snapped fiverr associate from eating a full sized monitor, or flinging themselves at a sliding glass window - when they’ve gone top tier bananas over another “How do I get more clients” email. They usually calm down after a hug. Of course, if they’ve gone “Full Metal Jacket,” we just reassign them to the “Seller Plus” program.

Anyhoo, I see you’re wondering about our evaluation process. As you know, it’s a mystery … not unlike “The Shroud of Turin,” or the identity of “DB Cooper” or why pumpkin pie sometimes cosplays as sweet potato pie and no one even mentions it.

I’ve seen a lot of wacky theories in this forum about our evaluation process. Some say it’s a “sit and stay” algorithm. Other’s claim that we only track completion. Heck, I even heard one nutter claim that real people evaluate “talent.” I can’t tell you how much we laughed at that idea. 

But since I’m on break … and since I’ve drank like 8 espresso shots … I’m gonna tell you the truth. The real way we perform evaluations. The actual guy behind the whole deal … 

Jim Fiverr.

Some say that Mr. Fiverr is an eccentric billionaire (I think it’s the cape). They tell stories about him coming to the office, arriving with a sound wired announcer, a referee and refusing to enter until he hears his theme music.

Once, at a Christmas party, Fiverr challenged an intern to a “one fall contest” in the break room. Within one minute, fiverr distracted the referee, hit the employee with a steel chair and threw him through the Spanish announce table.

Yes. He brought a Spanish announce table. 

That’s when things got weird. He sent out a company wide memo instructing all staff to only refer to him as “The Great Fiverrio.” By New Years, he’d pretty much laid waste to the entire corporate team. But everyone agreed that his wrestling tights were amazing. 

That’s when he went after the freelancers.

It’s rumored that he choked out a social media manager in Fresno. Pictures emerged of him clotheslining an animator from Tulsa. And don’t even get me started on what he did to that vocalist in Asheville.

Then, as though it were all some overly acted dream, Jim Fiverr vanished.

The board members voted unanimously to oust Jim Fiverr citing, “egregious use of illegal wrestling maneuvers.” I also think they found his Lucha Libre mask to be a tad insensitive (but I thought it was bawdy in a good way).

With the locks remade, the company newly staffed and the Fiverr name all but irrelevant in a new push to solicit more professional quality clients, Fiverr (the man) became a whisper. And like all good whispers, it’s only fun because it feels naughty to talk about.

Then … Suddenly … an oddity occurred.

A fully formed, already functioning evaluation system had been inserted seemingly overnight.

It looked menacing. Numbers and charts. Standards and metrics. It sent fear into the hearts of all who could speak to a “world before the evaluation system.”

But that’s not even the weirdest part. Somehow, as though everyone had signed a silent pact, no one even talked about it. No one.

We just went about our daily lives. From the looks of things, the evaluator was doing something. Ticking away, calculating and standing like a demented judge with the face of a time clock. But no one said a word. And they haven’t to this day.

That’s the answer.

That’s the terrible truth that no one wants to say. Even the slightest acknowledgement would crack the skulls of tightly wound executives and send offices into existential mayhem. Carnage would rain from every ceiling. Meeting tables would turn to primitive displays of grotesque offerings. Chaos would blow through on a hurricane ridden by Death itself.

The truth is, no one knows who runs the evaluation process.

Only … we all know. 
 

(For the purposes of anonymity, I have apprehended this account. I will now return it to its rightful owner. Please be patient if he doesn’t seem to understand any replies you may have. Also, be warned - you assume the risk by engaging with this topic. If you plan to respond, I’d suggest purchasing some wrestling boots. You’ve been warned)

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