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Do you regret?


rabihumakhan
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It is a reality that we, the humans  are emotional beings rather than logical and that's why we make mistakes while riding the lion of life. 

Today's post asks that what are those two (or more) mistakes that you regret and want to go back to that time and correct the mistakes. 

 

I will start with the following:

1. I will forever regret that why I didn't take life serious until I found that I'm now under a huge burden and that it is hard to live. 

2. I hadn't planned about job/incomes during my earlier stages of education and that's why I yet to settle down though I'm 25.

 

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I spent five years traveling and doing odd jobs instead of studying OR getting a job that paid well. The only thing I regret is how some of those jobs affected my mental health. I'm 27 now and doing just fine figuring out what I like to do.

Honestly, I don't think people should hurry up (granted it IS privileged to be able to get 'serious' later than some others.) There's plenty of time later in life.

Of course I do sometimes wonder if it'd been easier to just write from when I was twenty seriously (so not just here and there) but... All the memories I've made abroad make up for the money.

(... NOT for the mental scars. But those were just bad BUT temporary choices.)

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28 minutes ago, katakatica said:

Honestly, I don't think people should hurry up (granted it IS privileged to be able to get 'serious' later than some others.) There's plenty of time later in life.

That's the attitude, if you hurry up you will regret it later on. 

 

29 minutes ago, katakatica said:

Of course I do sometimes wonder if it'd been easier to just write from when I was twenty seriously

What I think, @katakaticais that there's a time for everything in life. If you did that when you were 20, then you would regret not having fun, experimenting and learning lots of new things. There were things I could have done in my 20s, but there were also some that I wanted to do when I was 30 or 32. However, I tend to see the bright side. Instead of dealing with corporate jobs or bad bosses, I am glad I went freelance and got to accomplish some of the things I wanted, like buying a house without dealing with any banks or loans. So it's better to just learn from mistakes, experiment, try out new things and evolve. It's very easy to start regretting stuff, especially when you are in that age close to your 30s. Once you pass your 20s and enter your 30s, I am sure you will have a much different attitude when it comes to life. I for one, I feel much better mentally and care way less what others say. I just focus on my own work and stuff, and it works for me. 

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2 hours ago, rabihumakhan said:

It is a reality that we, the humans  are emotional beings rather than logical and that's why we make mistakes while riding the lion of life. 

Our mistakes make us human, and with each mistake, the opportunity to be more compassionate and more empathetic towards others. I wouldn't trade my mistakes - it's what makes me, "me."

2 hours ago, rabihumakhan said:

what are those two (or more) mistakes that you regret and want to go back to that time and correct the mistakes. 

1 hour ago, wp_kid said:

I don't have any regrate for aything.

Well said, @wp_kid!

Why live with regrets? We can't go back in time and correct our mistakes or the mistakes of others. All we can do is learn from them, make adjustments for the future, and move on. There's a reason why memories fade and our brains are constantly reconstructing past memories so that the painful ones grow dim.

2 hours ago, rabihumakhan said:

I didn't take life serious

I'm the opposite. I took life too seriously growing up. I worried about dying and no one coming to my funeral (this is at 9 years old). I planned for everything (even the weather), and when things didn't go my way, my world crumbled.

I had goals and delayed pleasure (and even my own personal health and happiness) in pursuit of those goals. I didn't travel or take vacations. I didn't hang out with family or friends as often as I wanted to. I felt guilty if I wanted to do "fun" things because I thought I should always be working hard. I felt like I should constantly be moving forward, and if I wasn't, I was slipping backwards.

That's really no way to live. It's living in the illusion that happiness is achieved only when the goal is reached. However, whenever I reached a goal, I would just jump to the next one, because there was always an emptiness inside, a feeling of being unfulfilled.

1 hour ago, katakatica said:

Honestly, I don't think people should hurry up (granted it IS privileged to be able to get 'serious' later than some others.)

Exactly. What are we "hurrying" towards? And what should we be "serious" about?

1 hour ago, katakatica said:

There's plenty of time later in life.

1 hour ago, donnovan86 said:

there's a time for everything in life. If you did that when you were 20, then you would regret not having fun, experimenting and learning lots of new things.

Actually, the time is NOW. We don't live in the past ...or in the future. Those are illusions. We only live in NOW.

I agree with @donnovan86, if we aren't living in the NOW, we are going to have regrets. Some people regret not planning well. I regret overplanning my life.

1 hour ago, donnovan86 said:

I tend to see the bright side. ...it's better to just learn from mistakes, experiment, try out new things and evolve.

1 hour ago, donnovan86 said:

Once you pass your 20s and enter your 30s...

@rabihumakhan, @wp_kid, @katakatica, @donnovan86 - you are all so young! 😂 I just celebrated my 41st birthday a few days ago ...and I'm still rediscovering myself every day. I haven't "settled down" yet or figured out how my life will look.

From my experience, I found out that a six-figure income doesn't bring happiness and we should appreciate what and who we have now.

When I came to that realization (in my late 30s), I got rid of my materialistic possessions, sold my cars and my real estate business and properties, and moved my family to Hawaii. We significantly downsized our life, bringing only what we could carry in 3 suitcases and several duffle bags. We spent several years reconnecting with my parents and relatives in Hawaii before coming to Japan to reconnect with my husband's family over here. I'm much happier now and love my work here on Fiverr.

1 hour ago, katakatica said:

those were just bad BUT temporary choices.

I like that word, "temporary." Life is full of "temporaries." It's human to want to linger on some of those temporary, bad choices. But that only holds us back from living life to its fullest. 😊

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3 hours ago, vickieito said:

the opposite. I took life too seriously growing up. I worried about dying and no one coming to my funeral (this is at 9 years old). I planned for everything (even the weather), and when things didn't go my way, my world crumbled.

Yes I was like the same until I stopped believing in....(wouldn't go deeper to avoid creating a conflict)   

I think most of our worries about death and stuff are related to what we believe in. 

I personally think that death is just a converter and I would quote a famous dialogue from 'Sophie's World' ''we too are stardust''. We'll transform into some other form of matter when we die. 

5 hours ago, katakatica said:

Honestly, I don't think people should hurry up (granted it IS privileged to be able to get 'serious' later than some others.) There's plenty of time later in life.

I see this as the social and geographical  difference. It is that either I'm so serious about life or our people know that if we don't start earning and settling down soon nobody including our governments is going to help us get back on the track. Believe you me, it is very difficult to see your plans shatter because someone bribed an officer to snatch a place that you deserved and you were going to grab. 

It also hurts to know you WON'T get that job you wanted and prepared for. 

5 hours ago, donnovan86 said:

you pass your 20s and enter your 30s, I am sure you will have a much different attitude when it comes to life. I for one, I feel much better mentally and care way less what others say. I just focus on my own work and stuff, and it works for me. 

That's real maturity and knowing you're your own boss as well as buddy. 

I have started realizing it in my early 20s and I no longer complain, cuss, or get depressed on why life Is like that. I accept that it is our duty to make it beautiful not only for ourselves but for the coming generations as well. 

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5 hours ago, vickieito said:

I just celebrated my 41st birthday a few days ago ..

To many, many more! Happy Birthday!!!!

Well I am 36 in 2 months so we are not THAT far away. But yes, I do feel young and more powerful as I get older, I guess it all depends on how you approach things. 

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5 hours ago, vickieito said:

I just celebrated my 41st birthday a few days ago

HAHAHA I WIN, I'll be celebrating my 44th birthday in a few weeks!!!  
BTW I'm guessing it's the Asian genes, but when I was in my T shirt and denim shorts this summer at a Targets in Seattle, the cashier thought I was a college student on summer break. Hopefully she wasn't being just nice and actually meant it 😁 🤣
I was in my Snoopy t-shirt, maybe that's why. 

 

Alright, so about regrets...sure, there are plenty. I'll be honest, there were situations where I wish I could travel back in time, but since I know that's impossible, why bother thinking about it. Important thing is that I make sure I gained something from those regrets. So far it's working fine, my life is good. 🙂

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1 minute ago, zeus777 said:

I'll be honest, there were situations where I wish I could travel back in time, but since I know that's impossible, why bother thinking about it.

That's the right attitude. I think the best thing you can do is to learn from mistakes and move on. At least you are healthy right now, if you have good health, then that's all what matters, the rest follows. 

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Honestly, I am grateful with what I have and the choices I made so far. Not always the best choices, but they led me to where I am now. One of the things that I kinda regret is that I took grades and school way too seriously back then. School grades don't matter as much as I thought in the real world. I should have had more fun when I was a teen, but oh well.

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Well, some of the posts (comments) under this thread give me courage and hope that it isn't too late. 

I have been thinking that when you're passed 25 and aren't settled, you're doomed (might be our local norms) but some of us here are above 40 and still figuring out lives as well as enjoying it. 

 

I have been in touch with @vickieito for a few months and luckily she's been one of my buyers as well. 

I would say she's the powerhouse of motivation and positivity. 

There are several other members whose posts give me the idea about their positivity and happiness. 

 

Yay, we'll won doesn't matter if the road is bumpy. 

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8 hours ago, zeus777 said:

HAHAHA I WIN, I'll be celebrating my 44th birthday in a few weeks!!!  

I beat you all! I'm 48.

The only thing I could say I regret (that isn't too personal!) is going to University for something my family deemed acceptable instead of going after what I knew I wanted to do and was good at: writing. I'm also a bit miffed I didn't get in on the self-publishing thing at the very beginning. I've made up for lost time.

In general, regrets waste time and energy. At my age, I'm incredibly aware I don't have much of either to waste. Always move forward even if you're not 100% certain of the path. Take time to recognize what you get out of the journey and tweak things as you learn and grow. Be yourself. Know yourself. Look forward, not back. It's only too late when you're dead.

Enough philosophy after only half a cup of coffee.

Edited by melanielm
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I had a great job opportunity in Canada in 2015 and I wish I’ve taken it. I so wish I’ve taken it. But it seemed so far away, so cold, so unknown. It felt like such a dramatic step to take, felt like falling. But I’d land on my feet, I think, as opposed to landing on my face like I did this year. I’d speak French at this point, it’d be cool.

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There is many things I regret

1 - I regret a lot leaving my church for 2+ years.

2 - I regret a lot not taking my marriage so serious. Yes, a marriage is the most serious relationship in life. A wife is thousands times more important than parents or kids. Thanks God I´m still married, but I´m realy doing things completely diferent from before.

3 - I regret a lot lying to my wife, telling her that I was working while I was playing games.

4 - I regret a lot not studied for serious when in University.

5 - I regret a lot the fact that I was a comunist and feminist man before. Thanks God I´m safe from these evil ideologies.

6 - I regret a lot not being disciplined before and waking up around 12:00 midday. I won´t do it anymore, never more in my life work during late night. Sleeping well is very important to reach prosperity. Sleeping during day and working during night was destroying my health. Now when sun falls and night comes, I stops anything I am doing and go eat then sleep. I just wake up when sun appears again. I don´t start any activity before sun rises.

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18 hours ago, vickieito said:

It's living in the illusion that happiness is achieved only when the goal is reached. However, whenever I reached a goal, I would just jump to the next one, because there was always an emptiness inside, a feeling of being unfulfilled.

 

18 hours ago, vickieito said:

Actually, the time is NOW. We don't live in the past ...or in the future. Those are illusions. We only live in NOW.

 

 

18 hours ago, vickieito said:

From my experience, I found out that a six-figure income doesn't bring happiness and we should appreciate what and who we have now.

When I came to that realization (in my late 30s), I got rid of my materialistic possessions, sold my cars and my real estate business and properties, and moved my family to Hawaii. We significantly downsized our life, bringing only what we could carry in 3 suitcases and several duffle bags. We spent several years reconnecting with my parents and relatives in Hawaii before coming to Japan to reconnect with my husband's family over here. I'm much happier now and love my work here on Fiverr.

After knowing about your journey and your views on life, I can see a fan of self-improvement and mindfulness books 🙂

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Somethings very important that I learned in my life:

1 - God is the most important.
2 - Nobody can lives alone. Forget any ideology that says man can live without a woman, or a woman can live without man. God created man and woman to be together and have happy relationship to each other.
3 - Marriage is the most important institution in life.
4 - Money doesn´t brings happyness.
5 - Don´t work too much until destroying your health and relationships, but also never be lazy and stops working as you had infinite money. Be balanced.

Edited by chessart_studio
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1 hour ago, chessart_studio said:

I regret a lot the fact that I was a comunist and feminist man before. Thanks God I´m safe from these evil ideologies.

Hey man, this could spark a controversy though. 

BTW, if I may ask, why aren't you a feminist now and what wrongs do you think are associated with feminism? 

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41 minutes ago, chessart_studio said:

Somethings very important that I learned in my life:

1 - God is the most important.
2 - Nobody can lives alone. Forget any ideology that says man can live without a woman, or a woman can live without man. God created man and woman to be together and have happy relationship to each other.
3 - Marriage is the most important institution in life.
4 - Money doesn´t brings happyness.
5 - Don´t work too much until destroying your health and relationships, but also never be lazy and stops working as you had infinite money. Be balanced.

I'm so sorry to be blunt, pal, but most of these points are the traditional ones people have been using to beguile others, specifically intelligent, opinionated women to be genteel and submissive for centuries. 

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13 hours ago, zeus777 said:

HAHAHA I WIN, I'll be celebrating my 44th birthday in a few weeks!!!  

 

5 hours ago, melanielm said:

I beat you all! I'm 48.

Ladies, ladies, I am the Gold Medalist regarding age on the Fiverr Forum!🥇 I am 70+. 😊

8 hours ago, kevindwren said:

Honestly, I am grateful with what I have and the choices I made so far. Not always the best choices, but they led me to where I am now. One of the things that I kinda regret is that I took grades and school way too seriously back then. School grades don't matter as much as I thought in the real world. I should have had more fun when I was a teen, but oh well.

Your thoughts reflect mine regarding working too hard in school and not enjoying the university journey as much as I could have. That is why I cautioned my sons to do well in school but to remember to enjoy themselves too!

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I regret a lot of things, but on the other hand, I wouldn't have turned out to be the same person if I didn't go through those things. And I like who I am today. So, in the end, I regret nothing.

 

I'm 29, BTW, since it seems like we're giving out our ages!

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*puts fedora hat on*

And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way.

Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

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1 hour ago, rabihumakhan said:

Hey man, this could spark a controversy though. 

BTW, if I may ask, why aren't you a feminist now and what wrongs do you think are associated with feminism? 


Everything associated with feminism is wrong. The beliefs that man and woman are equals is completely wrong. Don´t get me wrong, I´m not saying mem and women doesn´t must have equal rights, it must have. But the truth is that men and women are biologicaly and psicolicaly diferent from each other. Men and Women has completely diferent needs, tastes, desires and goals in life. Don´t expect a man will act like a woman would act in same situation. Don´t expect a man would be satisfied with what would satisfy a woman. Or a woman would be satisfied with what satisfy a man. We´re completely diferent.

We are not equals, but we are complementary to each other. None of us can lives alone.

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2 hours ago, rabihumakhan said:

I'm so sorry to be blunt, pal, but most of these points are the traditional ones people have been using to beguile others, specifically intelligent, opinionated women to be genteel and submissive for centuries. 


Well, humankind survived for 10,000 years because the traditional way of life. Everybody was born from a marriage (with exceptions, but vast majority are from marriages). The life of the most of all peoples on earth started because a man and a woman loved each other. No love, no babies. No love, no structured family. No family, no society. No love, no good life.

Every society that tried to live in a non-traditional way, was self-destroyed.

And what is the problem about a woman being gentle? No man likes rude woman.

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