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Hi, I'm asking for a little feedback and criticism on my video and animation)


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Hi everyone, just yesterday I created a video for my Gig on Fiverr.
Wrote the text, script, voiced it all, and created a visual.

I would like to get feedback from experienced people on the design of my video itself, how much this video sells and whether it can sell my services?
And of course about my English, because I think my English is terrible(

Here is the video itself:

 

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Have you read both of these yet?

https://www.fiverr.com/support/articles/4410883326481-Gig-image-guidelines-Making-the-most-of-your-Gig-image?segment=seller
https://www.fiverr.com/support/articles/360010451657-Adding-a-Video-to-Your-Gig?segment=seller

If so, then great, but if not, then there's some handy links for you.

---

There are a few issues with your vocals, yes, but since you already know that, I'll skip that part.

One major problem I see is that much of the text is tiny. Most people will first see your gig video as a thumbnail.

Another problems is that your samples don't all match up with the package they're supposedly under. 

image.png.ea1be578c9dd96a90671bbe1f595ebc1.png

There are also a few typos, such as:

image.png.50f6633404be752b35c70c0f1f822c40.png

Lastly, the phone is pretty nifty, but that's not the service you're offering, and it's hard to see the examples of your work when the phone is jumping and swinging around so much.

---

Edit: You should probably reconsider your package titles, too. "Hardest creative" tells me nothing.

Edited by imagination7413
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1 hour ago, imagination7413 said:

Have you read both of these yet?

https://www.fiverr.com/support/articles/4410883326481-Gig-image-guidelines-Making-the-most-of-your-Gig-image?segment=seller
https://www.fiverr.com/support/articles/360010451657-Adding-a-Video-to-Your-Gig?segment=seller

If so, then great, but if not, then there's some handy links for you.

---

There are a few issues with your vocals, yes, but since you already know that, I'll skip that part.

One major problem I see is that much of the text is tiny. Most people will first see your gig video as a thumbnail.

Another problems is that your samples don't all match up with the package they're supposedly under. 

image.png.ea1be578c9dd96a90671bbe1f595ebc1.png

There are also a few typos, such as:

image.png.50f6633404be752b35c70c0f1f822c40.png

Lastly, the phone is pretty nifty, but that's not the service you're offering, and it's hard to see the examples of your work when the phone is jumping and swinging around so much.

---

Edit: You should probably reconsider your package titles, too. "Hardest creative" tells me nothing.

Okay, thanks a lot for the tips, I'll try to fix it soon

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2 hours ago, imagination7413 said:

Have you read both of these yet?

https://www.fiverr.com/support/articles/4410883326481-Gig-image-guidelines-Making-the-most-of-your-Gig-image?segment=seller
https://www.fiverr.com/support/articles/360010451657-Adding-a-Video-to-Your-Gig?segment=seller

If so, then great, but if not, then there's some handy links for you.

---

There are a few issues with your vocals, yes, but since you already know that, I'll skip that part.

One major problem I see is that much of the text is tiny. Most people will first see your gig video as a thumbnail.

Another problems is that your samples don't all match up with the package they're supposedly under. 

image.png.ea1be578c9dd96a90671bbe1f595ebc1.png

There are also a few typos, such as:

image.png.50f6633404be752b35c70c0f1f822c40.png

Lastly, the phone is pretty nifty, but that's not the service you're offering, and it's hard to see the examples of your work when the phone is jumping and swinging around so much.

---

Edit: You should probably reconsider your package titles, too. "Hardest creative" tells me nothing.

Can you tell me if the title "Expansive" sounds much better than "Hardest"?
And about my English, do you understand what I'm saying and the context of my words without subtitles?
I want to know how badly I speak)

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1 minute ago, dmitrychubai said:

Can you tell me if the title "Expansive" sounds much better than "Hardest"?

On the topic of package labels, Fiverr says this: 

image.png.29c0ed0ecd81d38e2fc2a40fce73c5b0.png

So, no, I don't think 'expansive' sounds any better.  

image.png.fbefc2531fa3604c25de5046a81a8a3d.png

If the main feature of your high-tier package is about 3D aspects, then use '3D' in the package title.

7 minutes ago, dmitrychubai said:

about my English, do you understand what I'm saying and the context of my words without subtitles?

I'm not going to retype your script just to point out the problematic spots. If you'd like me to help, provide the script and I'll mark it. I probably shouldn't even offer that, since beta-reading is my main service, and you've not once used 'please'. Still, you've come back and asked specific questions, which is more than most forum users do, and I'd like to encourage that willingness-to-learn behavior. So, yeah, provide your script, I'll add highlights. But no more concerning your English: I'm not a language coach, so if you want help with pronunciation, you'll have to look elsewhere.

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1 hour ago, imagination7413 said:

I'm not going to retype your script just to point out the problematic spots. If you'd like me to help, provide the script and I'll mark it. I probably shouldn't even offer that, since beta-reading is my main service, and you've not once used 'please'. Still, you've come back and asked specific questions, which is more than most forum users do, and I'd like to encourage that willingness-to-learn behavior. So, yeah, provide your script, I'll add highlights. But no more concerning your English: I'm not a language coach, so if you want help with pronunciation, you'll have to look elsewhere.

Thank you so much for your help, you were able to answer all my questions.
I think to correct the text and script - it will be unnecessary, I'll try to do it myself)

Please tell me if it is possible to understand me without subtitles, is my pronunciation understandable?
Or am I difficult to understand without subtitles?

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