Tips to becoming a better freelancer (A.K.A. Platitudes in E Major)

[damooch916]

There seemed to be some decent interest in this post from another thread - so I’m making it available here. 
 

warning: The views expressed by Mooch are not necessarily the views of humanity. Any adherence to Mooch’s silliness is done at your own risk. Also, no animals were harmed during the making of this thread. Just covering bases captain. 
 

Tips to becoming a better freelancer (or platitudes in E major):

 

1. Pick your coffee wisely. 

2. The softer the chair - the softer the mind. 

3. Know when to say no. Also, know when to say “tacos.” 

4. Be the toughest boss you’ve ever worked for. And the most inappropriate. 

5. A buyer who haggles your prices doesn’t respect you. A seller who allows it, doesn’t respect themself. You’ll lose either way. 

6. No one has ever made a sale by complaining for twenty minutes. 

7. Oh, you’re in sales. No matter what you think you’re in, you’re in sales. 

8. You can judge success by the quality of your sweatpants. 

9. In school, it’s against the rules for someone else to do your homework. That’s still true. 

10. Your competition doesn’t know anywhere close to what they think they know. And the only competition is yourself. 

11. Know when other freelancers are convincing you into mediocrity. 

12. Go to the tos section. Read it. Print it. Write on it: “knowing this, I’ve decided not to complain about these rules in an unproductive manner.” 

13. Not everyone should be self employed. Scratch that. Almost no one should be self employed. 

14. If you can’t be honest about the quality of your own work - you can’t anticipate your own value. 

15. “Cheers” is still an awesome show. That’s not a freelancing tip, but it’s good to know. 

16. Decide right now, “in my business, do I work with or for the customer.” Knowing the difference will spare you significant heartache. 

17. Marketing is storytelling, trading and the game of show and tell. Yes. It’s basically kindergarten. 

18. Have a dedicated office and adhere to company policies. Even if that office happens to sell espresso. 

19. Returns (cancelations) are equal to your inability to qualify customers. 

20. Assuming the sell is a micro-linguistic sport. It begins with you converting questions to requests (“tell me how I can help you”) and ends with converting suggestions to recommendations (“I recommend the third tier package, I’ve sent you the invoice here”). 

21. A long term client is someone you educate. 

22. One bad day doesn’t make a habit. Cookies. Cookies make a habit. 

23. In every project, your client works for the same company that you do. 

24. There’s no amount of preparation in the world that can fix “not trying.” 

25. Without a swivel chair you can never be your best self. 

26. Most professionals are amateurs in disguise. Be open about your progress and the correct clients will follow. 

27. Social media didn’t invent marketing. In fact, they’re not even very good at it. 

28. If you have to choose between making you happy or making the client happy, you’re in the wrong job. 

29. If it’s not all about the money, I can’t trust you to work hard for my idea. I don’t have time for you to philosophize on my dime. I don’t know a professional that does. 

30. I’ve made significant money doing all the things this forum says makes no money. Never model your success on what doesn’t work for people, but feel free to ask why - and do it better. 

31. There’s no problem that can’t be solved by studying the work of Nora Ephron.

32. Video does for your getting a client the same that it does for your keeping one. So smile and correspond accordingly. 

33. Sometimes the most polished look can fall into the void. Be human. 

34. Knowing how to finish a project is way better than knowing where to begin. 

35. If the voice in your head always agrees with you, fire them and get someone else. 

36. Motivation is overrated. Paying your bills is not. 

37. Do you know where your buyers go? If not, you’re not ready to freelance. 

38. A hamburger is just a sandwich with a makeover. 

39. Don’t convince people of your merit. Convince them of what you’d do with their task. 

40. Study this: invite - qualify - ask for the sale -overcome objections - close the sale.

 

Each of these terms are endless lessons on leverage and they are the difference between success and working a day job. 

 

41.  Giving a leading command is a “call to action.” Getting commanded at 40 is “calling your mother.” 

42. Present the things your customers need - not the things you need your customers to need. 

43. No one is better at being you, than you working to be a better you. Except for Dana Carvey. 

44. If professionalism is the standard - then start by being interesting. 

45. I didn’t anticipate writing 50 of these when I foolishly wrote the 21st one. 

46. Knowing someone’s name means graduating from being strangers (unless they want you to get in a van). 

47. An unhappy client is someone you don’t know enough about. 

48. Sometimes the days you don’t have a client - you learn more than on the days you do. 

49. It’s okay to be an amateur. It’s okay to just be starting. It’s even okay to advertise yourself as such. What people really want is someone that’s willing to work hard. Which seems more valuable to me. 

50. Redefine what success means to you every year. Keep it to yourself and don’t share it with anyone else.  Grade yourself on that singular vision. Be honest with yourself. Because my advice is only really worth the amount of your bills I’m willing to pay. And that ain’t much, hoss. 

 

[vickiespencer]

I have copied and pasted it to a Word document to refer to whenever, I need some silliness that has been mixed with some downright good advice. I think I will make a book out of these 50 Tip and get rich! But then that would take time and be a lot of work—maybe not then.

[damooch916]

12 hours ago, vickiespencer said:

I think I will make a book out of these 50 Tip and get rich!

Money is fine, if you’re into material things like food and shelter. But if you play your cards right - you might just write a book that seeks to legitimize this mish-mash, allow it to fade into obscurity, endure some vague level of local mockery, toss away your savings in dive bars, spend a lost year talking to yourself on park benches and ultimately checking out before anyone notices how great it was. 
 

Then, we’ll call you a genius.

[damooch916]

6 hours ago, mrashrafomi said:

Your hard work and honesty will be successful

You may be the hardest working, most intellectually honest fast food employee the world has ever known. That doesn’t make it obvious that success will rain down on you like a divine storm. 
 

Knowing where to emphasize work efforts has an equal value to the quality of work itself. Otherwise, it’s not only foolish to set off working hard, it’s useless. 

Here’s a great example: we estimate that 850,000 fiverr sellers come and go at any given time. I would venture to guess that these statics are incredibly outdated post pandemic, but let’s stay with that. 
 

Of these sellers, most begin their journey by obtaining a large amount of information provided by video platforms. Some seek out blogs, books, tutorials … some go directly to fiverr sellers for guidance, purchase gigs and they even, wait for it… read the forum posts dedicated to learning freelancing the fiverr way. 
 

In that group - some new sellers can even be bothered to take high quality pictures of themselves, devise a bio, prepare example materials and set about their new marketing journey. 
 

All of this is hard work. All of this is honest. None of it guarantees success. 
 

How many real factors make up freelancing success? No one can really say, but there are elements happening that may elude even the most skilled individual.  
Things like communication. Can you convey concepts clearly? And past that, can you sell your vision? Do you understand the difference between qualifying a customer and chatting? Can you convert qualifying into assuming the sale? 
 

Moving beyond that, there’s an endless, mammoth, black hole of marketing. Have you put real elements in place to understand the value of your marketing dollar? Can you read them with absolute clarity? 
 

But lurking far, far behind all of those is the most important question of all … are you skilled enough, in the right sort of way, to work for yourself? 

What is the company “Policy and procedure of Yourself L.L.C?”

Should you even be a freelancer? 
In 99 out of 100 cases, the answer to that question is “no.” And fair enough, because job creation keeps the wheel spinning. But the rise of the home-screen warrior is here. Which inevitably means that folks are accepting jobs before they’ve asked “what do I work on first…” to which, the answer is “skill development.” 
 

The tips in my post are designed to encourage you to be “better.” Not successful.  You can’t talk someone into success. It’s a routine under the guidance of a master, with time under tension designed to grow muscle and it never stops or the muscle depletes. Success aims at its own sense of mastery, finding alterations of similar exercises to maximize  results, until the trainee has new information to train. 
 

In other words, not a single thing I’m saying can (or even should) make someone successful. Obviously there’s only one single, solitary, full proof, never failing, first class, absolute way to gain success: 

Coffee.
So choose it wisely. 
 

[joshy_lance50]

Wow! This is great! Got motivated by the quotes/tips, though I don't quite understand a few... But I'd work on them!

[damooch916]

4 hours ago, joshy_lance50 said:

I don't quite understand

A few of these are just silly jokes. A few are freelance/sales inside baseball terms. Regardless of which tips you’re not understanding, I hereby pledge to slap together some introductory philosophy jargon and create the illusion of wisdom. 
 

So have at it. Tell me which tip you don’t understand and I’ll explain. 

[miiila]

11 hours ago, damooch916 said:

Obviously there’s only one single, solitary, full proof, never failing, first class, absolute way to gain success: 

Coffee.
So choose it wisely. 

Don't drink coffee, I take tea my dear... 🎶

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Since I'm here already, excellent thread and post, 5* for content, delivery, communication, and would read again/recommend. Thank you for being a ray of forum hope.

[melanielm]

A sparkly gem in the pile of Fiverr forum rubble.

My favorites are 7, 13, 24, 35, 36, 50.

I have to pay attention to more of them.

[damooch916]

5 hours ago, miiila said:

Thank you for being a ray of forum hope

Whoa. 

This is one of those significant age, benchmark moments. Like the discovery of hair underneath your arms, or finding your first grey hair, or discovering that Tom Hanks is actually a CGI construction paid for by PBS (and viewers like you). 
 

I’m not sure I can man the responsibility of being a ray of hope. Alternatively, I have a few titles that may speak better to my actual forum activity:

 

Sultan of silly

Earl of Awesome

Sir Nonsense of Lottatalking

Baron Von Piano Fingers

Current Former reigning Person of presently Previous Emeritus 
 

I can no more promise to continue offering threads of substance, than I can promise a guaranteed tomorrow.

But - and this I swear - I hereby promise to continue distributing largely un-asked-for, long winded, pseudo parody; laced with jr psycho babble, masquerading as comedy, thinly covering a death trap contraption by way of a see-through sheet with a hand written sign that reads, “free advice.”
 

[vickiespencer]

20 hours ago, damooch916 said:

Coffee.
So choose it wisely. 

My personal favorite is dark roast Costa Rica, followed by the same roast from Kenya. I love my coffee! ☕️

[damooch916]

Just now, vickiespencer said:

dark roast

Ah, a luxury decision. 
 

I need substances that walk the balance of serviceable, enjoyable and practically caffeinated. I need a coffee that says, “man, I’d really like to enjoy this - but I also have to get through the vague language of talking with artist, men-children”

For this reason, my standard coffee is a medium roast accompanied by a shot of espresso. To which, I’ve developed the habit of inhaling the coffee and sipping the espresso. 
 

I’m aiming for “artisan chic.” Some weird, come to life oddity in a Bosch painting, hanging out at the only table in Eden, probably in a tank top, feverishly writing lyrics and ignoring the theological inaccuracies happening around me. 
 

But in reality - I’m just a dude in blue jeans, banging around on a piano and spilling coffee everywhere. 

[katakatica]

On 2/28/2022 at 8:05 PM, damooch916 said:

22. One bad day doesn’t make a habit. Cookies. Cookies make a habit. 

I'm not sure why this struck me so hard - I've had lots of ups and downs since I'd started writing (and just... living, lol) but it still takes me a while to understand that it's OK to be human and have...bad days. Or make a mistake. 

Cookies, on the hand are a habit I'd love to indulge in more often. I'm hoping to start baking when I get my own place, so... 

On 2/28/2022 at 8:05 PM, damooch916 said:

17. Marketing is storytelling, trading and the game of show and tell. Yes. It’s basically kindergarten. 

(I can also relate to this one. Being a former nanny/teacher sure comes in handy...) 

[damooch916]

13 hours ago, katakatica said:

I'm not sure why this struck me so hard

I see so much emphasis on the analysis of fault. People catalogue, survey and decipher every aspect of what they “do wrong.” It’s a strange and largely irrelevant practice. 
 

If it’s treated exactly in the opposite fashion. 
 

We subscribe to the idea that history lessons act as this prevention method for the repeating of terrible atrocity (although… this year is really testing that theory). And that’s mostly true. But of the human experience - we’re just chronological passengers. Life happens despite us - so we’re forced to learn by mistake and it works with flimsy results and hope. 
 

Tasks shouldn’t be treated the same way. With goals and tasks - we gain FAR more from the cataloguing and evaluation of what we do correctly. 
 

For example, when learning the piano - an instructor wouldn’t stop you after a mistake to have you repeat the mistake. Then talk about the mistake. Then write the mistake down. Then study the mistake. 
 

In fact, it’s exactly the opposite. You start over and do it better. Then again. Then again. You discuss the methods that make this so. You focus on it. 
 

One bad day doesn’t make a habit. It’s not suddenly obvious or implied that this bad day will fold itself into your routine. It’s abstract. So it requires no more attention.
 

Cookies - on the other hand - are precious symbols of the inner relationship that tentacles outwardly and touches the faces of powerful deity’s. They are the good. We gain far more from focusing on them. 

[fardinsami_]

Work hard in silence and make your work do noise

Thank you