How you doin ( or I have successfully completed my 10th coffee)

[damooch916]

Fiverrians. Friends. Esteemed colleagues. Members of the press, 

How you doin?

I know. It’s not my unusual, usual, “totally thread detonating, word filth with a side order of ‘what is he talking about.” 

No. I’m just checking in.

Yes, that’s a bit off brand. But when your brand is off-brand, doing something decidedly normal is as unpredictable as anything else. 
 

It’s sort of my kinda-annual tradition. I break format, start an actual conversation and we just kinda talk. Hopefully you’re into that. 

So here’s a little meeting for our dear forum IRregulars. You know who you are (I keep a list and put stars next to the really cool kids). 
 

So. Ya know, how are you? 
 

This week has been oddly slow. My instinct is to blame the “shadow, anti-songwriter agenda,” but actually, I’ve noticed this weird trend where the first week of every month takes a better beating than Rocky in the early rounds. Then, like clockwork, the second week is almost overwhelming. Finally - it averages itself out and all the bills get paid and I’m overpaying for terrible streaming services. Score!  
 

Hmmm. What else? 
 

I watched Get Back. For songwriters of my lineage - it might just be the most important documentary ever created. Or re-created. 
 

It’s also the most gruesome footage I’ve ever sat through. Every frame poured blood into my eye lids and filled my silent mouth with whispering screams. It’s horror, displayed in all its raw glory, because it’s actually happening.

You’d have to be a band leader - thereby losing your ability to be “just be one of the crew” - to understand this painful reaction. 
 

When we comeback, I’ll tell you all about science experiments with the kids. But first, a word from our sponsor: 

This episode of “Mooch Tonite” has been brought to by Coffee. “Coffee: it’s like water but I’M SHAKING!” 
 

My kid has a science project for school. Which is to say, I have a science project and my kid is gonna put his name on it. Why not just gear the awards towards the adults? 
 

“The first prize for Tall Valley elementary science project of the year - and the recipient of a free tire rotation is …”

So, that’s me. That’s how I’m doing. Tell me about you. Readying that new year/new gig? Swearing off Target after having visited their fine assortment of little to no parking spaces? Catching up on holiday classics that age and wisdom has had you reevaluate? 
 

Or just enjoying the ride? 
 

How you doin? 

[zeus777]

So how am I doing, you ask?
I wish I had an interesting story to tell you but there ain't much going on.

I am currently working on an order and originally i was going to finish it pretty quickly but things got crazy-busy at the office
and because of that my gig is taking a bit longer to finish. I will make sure to deliver it on time though of course.
In case you are wondering what the gig is about, I am drawing 6 dogs, all of them with different props. 

Once that's done I'll be translating a file that's 120 pages long. I......I can do it, I jut need to have some coffee and cookies ready, that's all.

1 hour ago, damooch916 said:

My kid has a science project for school.

Ahhhh, school science project!! Brings back memories. I remember making a model of the solar system using styrofoam balls and wire!!

[mariashtelle1]

I successfully completed my third anxiety this week 🥳 🙈

 

[damooch916]

39 minutes ago, zeus777 said:

originally i was going to finish it pretty quickly

I’ve been locked in this situation for two weeks. It all stems from getting some new audio programs. As opposed to most of the songwriters here - I perform all of my instrumentation live. Even if that instrumentation is keyboard based. So, for example, if you hear bass and guitars in my productions - they may be keyboard programs - but it’s not drag and dropped plugins, rather it’s me playing a keyboard like a guitar in real time. Or maybe it’s just a guitar. Either way, it’s not a sliced performance. 
 

Anyways. I got a new program that has virtually unlimited, top production sounds. There’s nothing you can imagine that I don’t have access to. But this has created a worse problem. Because now - as opposed to limitations forcing you to be creative - now, I have Netflix syndrome. 
 

I can literally scroll through every sound ever made - and then make those sounds do anything I want because I’m performing with them. Which means I’m spending all my time sampling sounds. Every sound goes into a new world of ideas - and every decision forces you to ask what’s behind another door. 

 

I wish I had as much time to devote to investigating every sound as I do to work on orders. I have to do them simultaneously. So I’m gonna be in the weeds for awhile. 

[vickiespencer]

Hello, Tommy, Zeus, and Maria,

I just finished the last order for the day and thought I would check in here to see what's happening. I worked later than usual because my hubby is out of town at a football playoff game with out sons. Soon I will make some popcorn grab a key lime sparkling water and veg out watching something on TV that my man does not like to watch.

 

3 hours ago, damooch916 said:

My kid has a science project for school. Which is to say, I have a science project and my kid is gonna put his name on it. Why not just gear the awards towards the adults? 

I remember the Boy Scout Pinewood Derby days. It was every dad for himself!

1 hour ago, zeus777 said:

Once that's done I'll be translating a file that's 120 pages long. I......I can do it, I jut need to have some coffee and cookies ready, that's all.

What are the new flavors in Japan this month?

52 minutes ago, mariashtelle1 said:

I successfully completed my third anxiety this week 🥳 🙈

Does that mean you conquered your anxiety? 🤔

I wonder when the "Thanks for the helpful information." posts will begin?

[zeus777]

2 hours ago, vickiespencer said:

What are the new flavors in Japan this month?

We have the "toasted white mocha" as a special Christmas edition drink. I am guessing it has nuts in it???

 

2 hours ago, vickiespencer said:

I wonder when the "Thanks for the helpful information." posts will begin?

By tomorrow morning, I'd say about 5 of them.

[theratypist]

Hahaha Damooch, I opened this thread because its you!

But I would just like to share that I misread the title as I thought you were joking about making a 10th order. Reading it again, it says coffee 😂

Thank you for straying a bit from the usual titles here which usually goes as "successfully completed (insignificant number/non milestone order)" haha

[damooch916]

3 hours ago, vickiespencer said:

I wonder when the "Thanks for the helpful information." posts will begin?

 

15 minutes ago, zeus777 said:

By tomorrow morning, I'd say about 5 of them.

Perhaps. But you two know, fully well, that this here is the lions den. Imagine the joy I’d receive in having shiny toys to play with, with my favorite forum audience, in a trap I didn’t even bother to cover with shrubbery. 

[damooch916]

6 minutes ago, theratypist said:

Thank you for straying a bit

I offer the absolute finest assortment of:

straying

mangling

confusion

non-topical outbursts 

nonsense 

and shenanigans. 

8 minutes ago, theratypist said:

Damooch, I opened this thread because its you!

That’s very kind. I may be the only - or at least longest standing - forum member, specifically posting for the amusement of other forum members.

Which, in hindsight - may have set a precedent that I didn’t initially consider the energy of - when I started. 

But I staked the claim early. Not a lot of forum members are going with the surrealist, parody bit writing, gonzo, carnival barker that I’ve established myself to be. It’s either a sign of respect for my confirmed position, unwillingness to jump into my lane - fearing that I have multiple screws loose and that I’ll hang their theoretical underwear on the theoretical flagpole, or the mere fact that adults typically operate like regular adults in intermingled society.

I’m just gonna go with “they must really love me.” That sounds a lot better than, “mooch is scary and owns a thesaurus.”

 

In any event. You didn’t tell us how you were doin.

[miiila]

Congas. Keep sending your 10 coffees a day, and you will be great success 😍🤩😍🤩😍

Nice to see you not giving up on your kinda annual off-brand tradition.

I'm mostly fine, thank you for asking. Maybe I'm sick now, though, despite, or because of, having trained my immune system with a barbecue yesterday evening in barely above zero degrees Celsius. It was a cool event.

I'll treat it with rivers of honeyed tea, matcha and kurkuma lattes, manga, anime, real life action anime, and audiobooks, I'll be fine. Treatment sadly will be restricted to evenings, though, the work must go on.

Today, I'm kind of grounded, waiting for a delivery with perishables to arrive, but going out on a Saturday so close to Christmas isn't commendable anyway. Even though the "non-essential" shops and cafés might be not quite as full as usual, while the essential ones probably will be fuller, while unvaccinated people try to find Christmas gifts in supermarkets and drugstores. I predict a whole lotta gift cards from you-know-who under the 🌲s and in the 📨s.

There's a handful of albums I traditionally look forward and listen to in this season of the year, starting some time in November, but this year, not so much. Why? I'll turn one of them on now and see what happens.

Good health, love, and peace, everyone 💚

 

PS

5 hours ago, damooch916 said:

carnival barker that I’ve established

It just so happens that I recently spent two Sunday afternoons on reading a wonderful, and considerately short, novel about carnival barkers, their colleagues, and their customers, brilliantly told, "a song from the dying world of carnies and freaks", aptly titled Carnival. 

 

 

 

 

[visualstudios]

This is all way too advanced for me. 

[miiila]

Try again after your 10th coffee.

 

Also, I'm deeply touched. The forum understands my troubles and knows that we need more reaction emoji...

 

[damooch916]

5 hours ago, miiila said:

Good health, love, and peace, everyone

Thanks for chiming in and providing an awesome update.

 

5 hours ago, miiila said:

aptly titled Carnival

I spent a few years in a band designed to perform some of my rock music I was clearing out of the decks. Typically my material leans country, rock/soul. I called this band “The Serkess.” 

 

5 hours ago, visualstudios said:

This is all way too advanced for me.

Absolutely understandable. I felt the same way. Then I discovered an amazing book and my life has never been the same. Napoleon Hill’s “How to make acquaintances and just know people.”

Here’s a small sample:

Knowing people is an exercise of layering information to design a concept of their character over time. Meeting them is an exercise of being all like, “hey - what’s up?”

Acquaintances normally deal in generalities. A conversation may sound like:

“Hello.”

“Hello.”

“How are you?”

“I’m fine. How are you?”

“I am also fine.”

Here is an example of a “general conversation” gone wrong:

”Hello.”

“Hello.”

“How are you?”

“I have the gout toe. I fear my hair is falling out and women find me boring. I still listen to new wave. And I enjoy it.”

This is an example of what to not do. Remember: You can’t have a friend if your acquaintance knows you listen to new wave.

Anyways. That book is awesome. 
 

Thanks everyone for engaging. Feel free to tell us about your day. 

[visualstudios]

I definitely should have not dropped the weed.

[newsmike]

23 hours ago, damooch916 said:

I watched Get Back. For songwriters of my lineage - it might just be the most important documentary ever created. Or re-created. 

Nice, so many great documentaries for those in the music business.  Not so much for Voice Over guys, as the closest we have is GoodFellas. 

23 hours ago, damooch916 said:

I have a science project and my kid is gonna put his name on it.

I just got an A in 12th grade business and finance.  Kid takes all the credit.

23 hours ago, damooch916 said:

How you doin?

Really well all things considered. Just reworking the vocal booth. December will slow a bit, but regulars keep on truckin'.  And as I do every year, I am awaiting delivery of real honest to God, Italian Christmas cookies to arrive from NYC's Little Italy.  A taste of home...  Wish I could share 'em with all the cool kids here, yes that means you too Tommy boy, French fries incident forgiven.  

 

 

[zeus777]

26 minutes ago, newsmike said:

Wish I could share 'em with all the cool kids here,

Um, could you please ship some of them over to Tokyo? 
I'll send something cool (and I have no idea what it's gonna be) to you in return! 😄 😄 😄

 

Jokes aside though, that little flower-shaped thingy with the chocolate swirl thingy on the top looks amazing...

[melanielm]

Hope you don't mind one of the weird kids listening in on all the cool kids. If I had gout, I'd probably be the one to tell people. (Not really, who does that? Ick.)

I have nothing to share. I just announced myself so I'm not creepy, which is probably kinda creepy.

[newsmike]

29 minutes ago, zeus777 said:

Jokes aside though, that little flower-shaped thingy with the chocolate swirl thingy on the top looks amazing...

They are, but I find myself hiding the rainbow ones from the family.  Wish I could transport 'em to you there in Tokyo.

[newsmike]

4 minutes ago, melanielm said:

Hope you don't mind one of the weird kids listening in on all the cool kids.

See, that's funny, cause you are certainly one of the cool kids.  

[damooch916]

1 hour ago, newsmike said:

December will slow a bit

I’m having this exact thing. But, true to form, a bunch of buyers have all come back around and my week is shaping up to go nuts. 
 

On an unrelated note, I commend your fast and professional removal of your returning “haggler.” You remained courteous while eliminating the issue swiftly. Cut to me lecturing the same type of non-customer for two days and challenging their dignity.  
 

9 minutes ago, melanielm said:

I just announced myself so I'm not creepy, which is probably kinda creepy.

I will define the terms of what passes for cool ‘round these here parts. Just come and bask in the elitistness of it all. Don’t question it. Just feel the warmth of being a mean girl and wrap yourself in the satisfaction of being able to say things like: 

“If you pick on me again, Mike and Mooch will stuff you in a locker.” 

[newsmike]

5 minutes ago, damooch916 said:

“If you pick on me again, Mike and Mooch will stuff you in a locker.” 

Dude, that was one time, and lawyer pleaded it to "assisting colleague in selecting outerwear." But, I've said too much.

[damooch916]

6 minutes ago, newsmike said:

Dude, that was one time

When you’re a jet, you’re a jet all the way,  Mike. 

[vickiespencer]

4 hours ago, newsmike said:

A taste of home...

I see struffoli! My auntie used to make them every Christmas.

[rabihumakhan]

Thanks far UR teeps. 

Try sending 10 coffees per day and remain anline 24/7. You'll be success. 

 

 

[damooch916]

3 hours ago, rabihumakhan said:

You'll be success. 

I’m the epitome of freelancing success. 
 

I have a special button on my mouse that dispenses coffee.

I have jeans insulated with sweat pants, so that anytime a customer contacts me on the app - I’m literally in my work environment.

My couch is a pull out computer chair and desk.

I have back pillows threaded into my sports coats.

I created an internship to be on both fiverr and the fiverr forum at all times. In fact, this isn’t even me. It’s some college kid with a list of absurd things I may say in a given situation. Until this very moment, he thought this was a “direct to VOD production company.”

My response rating is: 100.two Superman laps around the earth.

Slippers are for amateurs. I wear pillows over my feet with a Nike logo.  

My last vacation was having a guy call me from Disney world and describing the rides while I worked on orders.

My alarm clock is just a voice that mutters “screw it, you don’t sleep anyways.”

My entire house is “desk chair accessible.”

My auto response message to new clients  is “Hi and thanks for contacting me. Your order is almost complete. Have you considered a follow up?” 

I don’t get notifications. I get a bat signal. But it’s a big “5.”

When customers request a modification, they get an error code that reads, “how bout you fix your crazy thinking instead?”

I have a hit viral YouTube video titled “How to make money on fiverr,” that’s just me at a desk for 10 hours not blinking.

And finally - 

My personal buyers request section is just normal people with reasonable expectations trying to pay me market value rates.