Jump to content

Dear madam, please don't call me sir, my dear


smashradio
 Share

Recommended Posts

Yes. I was taught in school to address a tutor as sir or ma’am, miss. No, I don’t use it anymore as I’m done with studies. Personally, I view this sir and madam titles as formal way of talking to someone who is at a higher rank in our profession. But dear is definitely intimate word. dear friend nobody ever say it to their friends. dear mother is fine and dear father too. but dear stranger, you who are looking for a business is totally off. I completely agree with you on this. these titles like honey, dear when somebody said it to me once and I stupidly used it back and the outcome was a lesson I learned never use these words and ignore those people who use these words at you. lol ( I was young and I thought it was polite and friendly- at that time)

Anyways, II completely agree with the writer of this post. we need to be aware of the words we use. You don’t want to cause misunderstanding and annoy someone just because of those words.

But the fact that your culture uses sis or ma’am when speaking to authority figures does not mean that it should be used internationally. Most countries would not use that, so unless you’re sure about what is culturally appropriate at any given time it should not be used. That’s my point: it’s always best to communicate in a way that’s as universal as possible.

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

As an added tip: I always end my first message/reply to someone with my first name.

For example:

"Thanks for reaching out! Bla bla bla…

All the best,
Leo"

Then they know my name. Use it. If you don’t, I always get a good laugh if you call me “Mr. Smash”.

  • Like 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think sir and Madam/Mam is ok. But don’t be offended if you hear “Dear” from anyone of Asia. This is not that person problem, this is Asian education and professional culture problem. Here mostly “Boss” type people love to hear “dear sir” or something like that. If you forget to write dear starting of the letter/application whom you writing they count it as disrespectful. For pandemic most of the people sifted from off line job to online job. It will take time to learn them about international professional manners/curtesy.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think sir and Madam/Mam is ok. But don’t be offended if you hear “Dear” from anyone of Asia. This is not that person problem, this is Asian education and professional culture problem. Here mostly “Boss” type people love to hear “dear sir” or something like that. If you forget to write dear starting of the letter/application whom you writing they count it as disrespectful. For pandemic most of the people sifted from off line job to online job. It will take time to learn them about international professional manners/curtesy.

Not. At. All.

Asians are equally annoyed.

The salutation is archaic and the dear that is being referred to is “I will do this for you dear”

It is definitely not a part of old English.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Not. At. All.

Asians are equally annoyed.

The salutation is archaic and the dear that is being referred to is “I will do this for you dear”

It is definitely not a part of old English.

Asians are equally annoyed.

who they already update themselves… But majority not. And exception can not be example.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

@smashradio Can I call someone sister or brother?

Can I call someone sister or brother?

It would be unprofessional to call a random stranger brother or sister (not to mention that it’s easy to misgender someone on the internet, and therefore look like a fool), even if it’s acceptable in some cultures.

And if it’s not acceptable in their culture… Well, then you’d look like a weirdo who calls complete strangers brother or sister, plus some people might think you’re trying to scam them or something.

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Can I call someone sister or brother?

It would be unprofessional to call a random stranger brother or sister (not to mention that it’s easy to misgender someone on the internet, and therefore look like a fool), even if it’s acceptable in some cultures.

And if it’s not acceptable in their culture… Well, then you’d look like a weirdo who calls complete strangers brother or sister, plus some people might think you’re trying to scam them or something.

@catwriter Thank you for giving me such a nice suggestion ❤️

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I used dear, like my whole life and it’s completely fine even companies like ebay or paypal uses dear in their customer support messages

Don’t you feel it’s a bit hypocritical when some big company, say paypal, sends you something like “Dear user, unfortunately we had to restrict your account due to…”

  • Like 12
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Don’t you feel it’s a bit hypocritical when some big company, say paypal, sends you something like “Dear user, unfortunately we had to restrict your account due to…”

LOL!

Dear Bintzia

We have received your application. Unfortunately, you are not a right fit for our company. Your application seems a bit… off.

Don’t apply again.

Regards,


On another note, the Asian dear is just nails-on-board 😑

Sure dear.

Okay dear.

Feeeel that???

A dear in a salutation is acceptable but even that is not a part of contemporary communication.

  • Like 8
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I used dear, like my whole life and it’s completely fine even companies like ebay or paypal uses dear in their customer support messages

even companies like ebay or paypal uses dear in their customer support messages

But they don’t say hello dear, or yes, dear, or anything like that. They use it for greetings only, and paired with a name or username, like Dear Bob or something.

  • Like 13
Link to comment
Share on other sites

@smashradio Can I call someone sister or brother?

Is the individuals you wish to call “sister” or “brother” your actual sister or brother - meaning - do you share parents? If not - then why would you call them “sister” or “brother”? If I’m buying social media services from you, I’m not your friend, and I’m not your brother - I’m your client. You should adress me by my name, or if you don’t know my name, the username will do fine.

I realise that in some cultures it might be respectful or friendly, but it does not belong in professional business communication.

  • Like 12
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I used dear, like my whole life and it’s completely fine even companies like ebay or paypal uses dear in their customer support messages

Companies often use “Dear, name” to start off their communication, but this is both old-fashioned and comes across as fake. I KNOW Ebay doesn’t care about me, yet they call me “dear”.

I’m sure you used dear all your life, and I’m also sure that you made a lot of people uncomfortable doing so. I’m not your dear. I’m a potential client.

Now, “dear” has a place in old-fashioned letter communications and formal notices etc. in a few countries, but when communicating online you’re talking to people from all over the world. Avoiding words and pronouns that can be offensive or put people off is just good business practice. If you chose not to follow it, that’s of course up to you. 🙂

  • Like 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Is the individuals you wish to call “sister” or “brother” your actual sister or brother - meaning - do you share parents? If not - then why would you call them “sister” or “brother”? If I’m buying social media services from you, I’m not your friend, and I’m not your brother - I’m your client. You should adress me by my name, or if you don’t know my name, the username will do fine.

I realise that in some cultures it might be respectful or friendly, but it does not belong in professional business communication.

If not - then why would you call them “sister” or “brother”?

I think it has more to do with their faith - as it appears certain forum members who are of a certain faith think of others on the forum their brothers and sisters.

I guess it is common (not professionally though!) for some Christian faiths to call people this too, but, it seems to be during church services, not outside of that environment.

Still, just weird and not kosher being called brother or sister if I am not blood related to you.

GG

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

If not - then why would you call them “sister” or “brother”?

I think it has more to do with their faith - as it appears certain forum members who are of a certain faith think of others on the forum their brothers and sisters.

I guess it is common (not professionally though!) for some Christian faiths to call people this too, but, it seems to be during church services, not outside of that environment.

Still, just weird and not kosher being called brother or sister if I am not blood related to you.

GG

I have a lot of muslim friends and business asscociates, that I work with on a regular basis. I’ve studied religious history and archeology with imams, and I even produced a “crash course on politeness in Islam, and how it pertains to multicultural communication” for a muslim foundation. I think I’ve been called “brother” once, and that was from an intern.

Professional muslim business people don’t go around calling random people brother or sister in business matters. In religious matters, it’s a totally different thing. Muslims consider themselves to be part of a brotherhood (ummah), and can call eachother “Akhy” (my brother) or “Ukhti” (my sister), but this is not used for non-muslims, or at least, rarely, especially not in business matters where you don’t even know the person.

With all that said - there is also the cultural element - where people from certain arabic speaking countries use brother a lot, but my point is that, online, you should avoid anything that might be percieved as rude or make the other party uncomfortable.

  • Like 10
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Is the individuals you wish to call “sister” or “brother” your actual sister or brother - meaning - do you share parents? If not - then why would you call them “sister” or “brother”? If I’m buying social media services from you, I’m not your friend, and I’m not your brother - I’m your client. You should adress me by my name, or if you don’t know my name, the username will do fine.

I realise that in some cultures it might be respectful or friendly, but it does not belong in professional business communication.

@smashradio Thank you very much for your beautiful informative talk. Would you please tell me if it is right to address the buyer as sir?

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

@smashradio Thank you very much for your beautiful informative talk. Would you please tell me if it is right to address the buyer as sir?

I would avoid “sir” as well. Certain western countries use it a lot, like the US, but in most countries that could give off the same vibes as dear, madam, brother etc. It’s simply not needed, so why would you use it?

It’s better to avoid pronouns like that anyway, to avoid misgendering people.

You can actually stick to “Hi, name” or even “Hi there, name” (last one if you want to sound a bit more happy). “Hello, name” is also perfectly acceptable.

  • Like 10
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have a lot of muslim friends and business asscociates, that I work with on a regular basis. I’ve studied religious history and archeology with imams, and I even produced a “crash course on politeness in Islam, and how it pertains to multicultural communication” for a muslim foundation. I think I’ve been called “brother” once, and that was from an intern.

Professional muslim business people don’t go around calling random people brother or sister in business matters. In religious matters, it’s a totally different thing. Muslims consider themselves to be part of a brotherhood (ummah), and can call eachother “Akhy” (my brother) or “Ukhti” (my sister), but this is not used for non-muslims, or at least, rarely, especially not in business matters where you don’t even know the person.

With all that said - there is also the cultural element - where people from certain arabic speaking countries use brother a lot, but my point is that, online, you should avoid anything that might be percieved as rude or make the other party uncomfortable.

@smashradio Agree with you but many times Muslims address strangers as brother those who take religion seriously say so. It is a culture

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think, as a general observation, people from non-western nations tend to be overly polite in their communications, and that might look weird to us from the west. Sir, madam and dear are used in countries where a high degree of politeness is required just to not come across as rude, while other nations and cultures might have a more relaxed way of doing things. To avoid issues both ways, I find it best to be polite but not personal.

So I’ll start a conversation like this:

“Hi there, John! Thanks for reaching out.”

And I’ll end it with:

“All the best,
Leo”

Yes, I know muslims adress even strangers as brother, at least in a lot of arabic countries, but that is mostly done between muslims, not to a non-believer, at least not in my experience, @mdminhaz05

  • Like 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...