Dear madam, please don't call me sir, my dear

[smashradio]

I know this has been discussed repeatedly, but somehow, it seems never to get better. I’m talking about the use of “dear”, “sir”, and “madam”. Recently I’ve also been called “honey”. What’s next? “Pumpkin?”

Ok, so there might be some humour in all of this, but please, stop using “dear”, “sir”, and “madam” when doing business internationally.

I’m not your dear. Sir might be seen as respectful in some countries, but then it’s overused and unnecessary. Besides, most countries in the west won’t use “sir” in business communication.

I get that there are cultural differences, and yes, I’m sure it’s done with the best intentions. But I feel like this has been brought up many times before, without getting better. It’s gotten worse since more and more people start working online due to the pandemic.

We’re communicating across borders, cultures, and norms even more than before, which leads to some interesting situations.
If a buyer/seller calls me “dear”, that could be uncomfortable. “Dear” is mostly used for my wife, not for a random person on the internet. It’s personal. Or, at best, it could be a formal way to start a letter to an older person. At best.

This isn’t just about comfort. It’s also for your sake: you risk alienating people when calling them “sir” or “dear”, making people more cautious about you. And when you want to earn money, you don’t want people to feel uncomfortable: you want them to trust you.
For way too many years, spammers using e-mail have been using “Dear sir”, “Dear madam”, etc. to introduce themselves. For most of us, we instantly react to the words because they are so common in spam.
Instead, use the persons named in the introduction if you know it, or simply use “Hi” or “Hello”. And no, don’t say “yes dear” – say “yes”. It’s that simple. I don’t need to be called dear by a stranger.

I hope this will help anyone who uses these words to get even better at their communication skills across borders and cultures, especially when dealing with westerners/Europeans.

Now it’s time to see what we as westerners/Europeans or any other cultural area could do better. I’m a European, so I’d love to hear if there’s anything we tend to do or say that might put people from other cultures off. After all, this isn’t about putting anyone down: it’s about helping each other to communicate and succeed even more!

[paschalisblack]

How about “bro”? I’ve been called that so many times I lost count.

[smashradio]

How about “bro”? I’ve been called that so many times I lost count.

Indeed. Bro is another one. I haven’t seen that for a while, except on the forum. Yet another cultural thing?

[paschalisblack]

Indeed. Bro is another one. I haven’t seen that for a while, except on the forum. Yet another cultural thing?

I guess it’s a thing of Asian countries. Every time I was called “bro” it was from an Asian user.

[donnichols]

I guess it’s a thing of Asian countries. Every time I was called “bro” it was from an Asian user.

The first time I was called “bro” was from a Canadian customer 🙂

[enunciator]

I’m from Cali, the home of “dude” and the vacation home of “bro.” 😆

It’s fairly common in face to face speech here between younger males, but yeah, electronic messaging on a business platform is an entirely different situation.

[smashradio]

I’m from Cali, the home of “dude” and the vacation home of “bro.” 😆

It’s fairly common in face to face speech here between younger males, but yeah, electronic messaging on a business platform is an entirely different situation.

Yeah, using “bro” or dude" among younger friends etc. is totally different. It’s not meant to be used in professional communications. I blame the millenials. :rofl:

[deivys20071]

haha what about: “wudup bruh I wanna video how much?” :rofl:

[smashradio]

haha what about: “wudup bruh I wanna video how much?” :rofl:

[moikchap]

I’m Canadian. I’ve used “bro” in feedback, like “Bro, this is so good!”
But I have yet to do something in the initial contact like “Hello Bro, I’m wondering if you would be willing to do a landscape at the Basic tier inspired by the following text:”

[smashradio]

I’m Canadian. I’ve used “bro” in feedback, like “Bro, this is so good!”

But I have yet to do something in the initial contact like “Hello Bro, I’m wondering if you would be willing to do a landscape at the Basic tier inspired by the following text:”

In the review and used as an exclamation, I don’t think it’s the worst. Just don’t say “Dear Sir, this is so good, bro!”. That would ruin it. :rofl:

[efti_miraj]

hi smashradio

that could be uncomfortable. “Dear” is mostly used for my wife, not for a random person on the internet. It’s personal. Or, at best, it could be a formal way to start a letter to an older person. At best.

thank your?

[architect18]

Yes. I was taught in school to address a tutor as sir or ma’am, miss. No, I don’t use it anymore as I’m done with studies. Personally, I view this sir and madam titles as formal way of talking to someone who is at a higher rank in our profession. But dear is definitely intimate word. dear friend nobody ever say it to their friends. dear mother is fine and dear father too. but dear stranger, you who are looking for a business is totally off. I completely agree with you on this. these titles like honey, dear when somebody said it to me once and I stupidly used it back and the outcome was a lesson I learned never use these words and ignore those people who use these words at you. lol ( I was young and I thought it was polite and friendly- at that time)
Anyways, II completely agree with the writer of this post. we need to be aware of the words we use. You don’t want to cause misunderstanding and annoy someone just because of those words.

[oskars25]

Yes. I was taught in school to address a tutor as sir or ma’am, miss. No, I don’t use it anymore as I’m done with studies. Personally, I view this sir and madam titles as formal way of talking to someone who is at a higher rank in our profession. But dear is definitely intimate word. dear friend nobody ever say it to their friends. dear mother is fine and dear father too. but dear stranger, you who are looking for a business is totally off. I completely agree with you on this. these titles like honey, dear when somebody said it to me once and I stupidly used it back and the outcome was a lesson I learned never use these words and ignore those people who use these words at you. lol ( I was young and I thought it was polite and friendly- at that time)

Anyways, II completely agree with the writer of this post. we need to be aware of the words we use. You don’t want to cause misunderstanding and annoy someone just because of those words.

Using sir, dear , madam get’s me right away caution, i know excatly from what country they are writting, and most of the time, I know what they want and in the end i block them.

But, I totally agree about using such as words, i got very often recieved messages with hey bro, bro, wassup and so on , it doesnt trigger me like those madams and sirs texting.

Check up the youtube, how to earn money on fiverr, you will see those countrys flag the fiverr as place where you can get money without any knowledge using automatic background removals, beg for work and so on…

I got tired of them, and when i see those countrys written next to the profile of them it right away brings me away from even a service what they provide even if i needed it.

So guys stop doing it ( countrys will not mention we all know what people are those)

Just provide your best and dont be the persons who bring god will bless you, pray for me and so on. Its childish atleast for me, sometimes it feels like i am at church where curry is giving me speech of future. 😃

[nazmul_fardin]

I know this has been discussed repeatedly, but somehow, it seems never to get better. I’m talking about the use of “dear”, “sir”, and “madam”. Recently I’ve also been called “honey”. What’s next? “Pumpkin?”

Ok, so there might be some humour in all of this, but please, stop using “dear”, “sir”, and “madam” when doing business internationally.

I’m not your dear. Sir might be seen as respectful in some countries, but then it’s overused and unnecessary. Besides, most countries in the west won’t use “sir” in business communication.

I get that there are cultural differences, and yes, I’m sure it’s done with the best intentions. But I feel like this has been brought up many times before, without getting better. It’s gotten worse since more and more people start working online due to the pandemic.

We’re communicating across borders, cultures, and norms even more than before, which leads to some interesting situations.

If a buyer/seller calls me “dear”, that could be uncomfortable. “Dear” is mostly used for my wife, not for a random person on the internet. It’s personal. Or, at best, it could be a formal way to start a letter to an older person. At best.

This isn’t just about comfort. It’s also for your sake: you risk alienating people when calling them “sir” or “dear”, making people more cautious about you. And when you want to earn money, you don’t want people to feel uncomfortable: you want them to trust you.

For way too many years, spammers using e-mail have been using “Dear sir”, “Dear madam”, etc. to introduce themselves. For most of us, we instantly react to the words because they are so common in spam.

Instead, use the persons named in the introduction if you know it, or simply use “Hi” or “Hello”. And no, don’t say “yes dear” – say “yes”. It’s that simple. I don’t need to be called dear by a stranger.

I hope this will help anyone who uses these words to get even better at their communication skills across borders and cultures, especially when dealing with westerners/Europeans.

Now it’s time to see what we as westerners/Europeans or any other cultural area could do better. I’m a European, so I’d love to hear if there’s anything we tend to do or say that might put people from other cultures off. After all, this isn’t about putting anyone down: it’s about helping each other to communicate and succeed even more!

We’re communicating across borders, cultures, and norms even more than before, which leads to some interesting situations.

If a buyer/seller calls me “dear”, that could be uncomfortable. “Dear” is mostly used for my wife, not for a random person on the internet. It’s personal. Or, at best, it could be a formal way to start a letter to an older person. At best.

Although It’s very funny example. but that is universal truth… 😇

[mjaninea]

I also have encountered many buyers/sellers who called me “m’am”… Some male buyers even called me “dear” and sometimes even sent hearts to thank me. 😶 Most of them were Europeans. It honestly does not bother me when it comes from female repeated buyers, with which I’ve started building some kind of “friendly relationship”… But yea… I always try to keep it professional and simple, with “hi/hello” or by calling them by their name.

On the other side, I am asian and in our country it’s completely normal to call someone “sir, m’am”. It’s some way of approaching the other person with respect. I was born and raised in Europe so, it sometimes sounds weird and “too much” for me too.

[katakatica]

This is such a tough topic because culturally I can totally understand it and I don’t mind being called sister/auntie/dear/luv/FOREIGNER (etc.) when I’m at the target country (although when I’m called auntie it does hurt me a bit, but eh, getting old isn’t fun!) but on the internet it just feels weirdly personal and pushy. However, I always try to think about how people have greeting others ingrained into their brains (and it’s such a hard thing to change habits. I used to cuss like a sailor in Italian without knowing I was cursing (long story!) so I can ‘relate’ to the troubles of filtering one’s language!

It’s also dangerous nowadays to misgender someone as it can genuinely anger them, so it’s really safer to use a neutral way of communication.) I personally try to pick up on how I am talked to and just go with it, but refrain from using dear/hon/sir and so on. (but I do write video game stories, so my target audience isn’t necessarily big businesses)

The other side is: when I was back in school, it was DRILLED into us to start every single letter with Dear Sir/Ma’am, and it was a pretty hard habit to lose but… I feel somewhat iffy now every single time I see it after nearly being scammed (not only on here) quite a few times!

[helloscoopz]

How about son in law? LMAO :rofl:

[lloydsolutions]

The most important thing to remember is that lots of people don’t like to be called dear, bro. sister, mate, etc. and it will put many buyers off!

They will just move on to buy from someone else!

[looseink]

I just told a newbie who called me “dear” that I found it creepy.

What bothers me most about it is that I am here on Fiverr in a professional, business capacity.

I know no one here well enough to call my friend.

Therefore, everyone here is technically a stranger to me.

I would NEVER refer to a stranger as dear, bro, honey, etc.

Besides, isn’t that the point of user names?

Call me by my user name if you expect me to respect you.

[asifhaque07]

Some of my clients have called me Sir. It really feels awkward. 😑

[aabrar007]

I’ve always felt annoyed when buyers call me sir or dear but I do have a few buyers who I’ve been working with for quite some time and have grown accustomed to calling each other bros and I’m totally fine with that.

On another note, a few times I did get called madam (I’m a guy with really long hair) to which I did correct them and had a laugh. Most of them did apologize for that.

[donnichols]

I’ve always felt annoyed when buyers call me sir or dear but I do have a few buyers who I’ve been working with for quite some time and have grown accustomed to calling each other bros and I’m totally fine with that.

On another note, a few times I did get called madam (I’m a guy with really long hair) to which I did correct them and had a laugh. Most of them did apologize for that.

I did get called madam (I’m a guy with really long hair)

A brutal beard is the key of dealing with that :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

[zeus777]

I mentioned this in another thread, but I don’t mind being called “bro” ( even though I ain’t a dude) depending on the situation. In one case this guy messaged me in a very professional and polite manner, he maintained that politeness until the very end, and when I finished the order the guy was so happy he said “Thank you so much, you’re the best bro!”
That made me smile, I was perfectly fine with that. In most cases people don’t bust out the bro card until several orders later, but again if I feel like I have built a good sense of trust I don’t mind it.

Dear on the other hand…gosh, that one is a HUGE no-no.

Ah one more thing.
“Friend.”

Am I the only one bothered by that?
Just like bro, I don’t mind “friend” AFTER we have worked on several orders.

But if I get a message like
“Hello, I would like you to blah blah blah.
Please give me your best price, friend.”

I ain’t giving you a discount, and you ain’t my friend, bye bye.

[bintzia]

How about son in law? LMAO :rofl:

Congratulations! You have been chosen lol