Terms to NOT use on the forum or with clients

[imagination7413]

Yup. It’s when they’re used as substitutes for a name.

‘Sir/ma’am’ is the only one that doesn’t bother me too much (even if the first is inaccurate), due to a combination of my terrible memory for names and being from a western region where ‘sir’ and ‘ma’am’ are the common method of ‘that’s how you show respect to your elders and people in positions of authority’.

[janeeditor]

Yup. It’s when they’re used as substitutes for a name.

‘Sir/ma’am’ is the only one that doesn’t bother me too much (even if the first is inaccurate), due to a combination of my terrible memory for names and being from a western region where ‘sir’ and ‘ma’am’ are the common method of ‘that’s how you show respect to your elders and people in positions of authority’.

I don’t mind “ma’am,” it feels old-school respectful. As for “sir,” I have generally worked in very male-dominated industries where it is not uncommon to be the only woman in conversations. A pet hate of mine is when someone will address everyone in a group email communication as “gentlemen.” Grr!

[enunciator]

I don’t mind “ma’am,” it feels old-school respectful. As for “sir,” I have generally worked in very male-dominated industries where it is not uncommon to be the only woman in conversations. A pet hate of mine is when someone will address everyone in a group email communication as “gentlemen.” Grr!

In a former life, I was a waiter. I regularly addressed customers as miss, sir, and ma’am. No one took offense to miss and sir, but I quickly learned to never call a young woman ma’am, as they deride that word as an insult and for being reserved only for “older” ladies.

Of course, the many dynamics of face-to face communication are lost in the impersonal digital format.

[janeeditor]

In a former life, I was a waiter. I regularly addressed customers as miss, sir, and ma’am. No one took offense to miss and sir, but I quickly learned to never call a young woman ma’am, as they deride that word as an insult and for being reserved only for “older” ladies.

Of course, the many dynamics of face-to face communication are lost in the impersonal digital format.

Face to face interactions are different from online interactions. They have to be, simply because the only information available is what is present in the text or cues such as names or avatars (which may not be an accurate representation anyway).

Maybe it’s because I am a bit older, but I’d take “ma’am” over “miss” every time. But unless you know that, it’s better to avoid any of those kinds of terms that could unintentionally cause offence.

Which was, of course, the entire point of why I created this thread! 😇

[looseink]

Thanks @janeeditor for a great post.

The hairs on the back of my neck stand out when I see any of the terms you have discussed here.

Your post also makes an excellent point - if you intend to generate a stream of income through freelancing, it should be approached like a business as in all honesty, it is a home-based business.

This is not a hobby and should not be treated as such.

Thanks for your efforts here.

[moonstaredits]

Several years ago, I posted a “don’t call people dear” here.

In fact I think a good number of other sellers done so as well.

It didn’t help much though… 😅

I don’t mind my buyers calling me friend/bro ( even though I ain’t a dude) once we’ve built enough trust,

but dear…that one really rubs me the wrong way each time I see it! Oh dear.

but dear…that one really rubs me the wrong way each time I see it! Oh dear.

Had a customer that finished each sentence with a “dear”. Turns out he is one of the worst customers I’ve had so far. I think it’s not a coincidence 🧐

[janeeditor]

Thanks @janeeditor for a great post.

The hairs on the back of my neck stand out when I see any of the terms you have discussed here.

Your post also makes an excellent point - if you intend to generate a stream of income through freelancing, it should be approached like a business as in all honesty, it is a home-based business.

This is not a hobby and should not be treated as such.

Thanks for your efforts here.

Thank you @looseink! I think you have caught the underlying point of my post - Fiverr isn’t a family, it isn’t a hangout for friends, it is a commercial platform for offering (and purchasing) freelance services. And on a commercial platform, there is the need for a certain level of professionalism to be maintained.

For good or for ill, English is the language of choice for communication on this platform. Accepting that fact by offering services here means understanding how to conduct your business under those conditions, which means using standard, professional English language in your interactions with prospective clients, other forum users and in your service offerings.

Using terms such as “brother/sister,” “family,” and “dear” may be completely profession in other circumstances or other cultures, and I completely respect that, but in English, it is not.

[gongor32]

As someone who tried to use BR, I got few messages in my inbox that started with bro, brother, bossman, respected sir etc… Do not ever use these words again, please. You could have gotten banned by spamming buyers if they report you.
If you have messaged someone without their initiation, you should be at least be professional about it right ?

[sanaaliabbasi]

The issue with “Dear” is not necessarily being called “Dear Jane” or “Dear Respected Client” even, it’s when you call someone “dear,” as in “Thank you, dear.” That is how my husband addresses me (as in “Yes, dear” 😉 ), not how you would communicate in a professional setting.

That’s how you set “Dear” just for your husband! But There is not limit that we are bound to dear just for hubby, You may check may professionals even business tycoon use in their calling the word Dear.

[sanaaliabbasi]

In a former life, I was a waiter. I regularly addressed customers as miss, sir, and ma’am. No one took offense to miss and sir, but I quickly learned to never call a young woman ma’am, as they deride that word as an insult and for being reserved only for “older” ladies.

Of course, the many dynamics of face-to face communication are lost in the impersonal digital format.

hahahah Yes It was a mess when someone called a young lady Mame or Aunty,

But now point raised " what should we call and how"

[janeeditor]

That’s how you set “Dear” just for your husband! But There is not limit that we are bound to dear just for hubby, You may check may professionals even business tycoon use in their calling the word Dear.

In English, nobody would ever call anyone “Dear” in a professional setting.

Can you imagine Bill Gates writing a message to Richard Branson and and saying, “Hi dear, how is it going over at Virgin?” Richard Branson would think that he’d finally gone nutty!

The only time that “dear” gets used in a professional setting is as a salutation at the beginning of a formal letter. For example:

Dear Sanaaliabbasi,

We are writing to you in regard to the terms of your contract…

It is never used specifically as a term to refer to someone in a professional setting.

[tiakovolana]

i don’t know. i’m english, from the heart of the cotswolds. in fairness i largely use fiverr casually, and i’ve only broken the $50 mark once, for a hand animated logo (then it was under £50), but i’m called “love”, even “darling” occasionally, by english people of every gender and i’m cool with that. “dear” to me is a little old fashioned, it comes across as a bit mrs doubtfire, but i don’t find it insulting. i might be a alarmed if i was discussing a $1m contract at the time, but i’ve never been in that situation. it’s not a term exclusively used in a romantic context, again i would say that’s oldskool but maybe that’s just me, and i wouldn’t say it was sexist or wired either. it’s not synonymous with honey or sugartits

“knock” and “knock me” is slang that i’ve used mostly from sellers in african countries, and is used like “ping me a message”, as in “they knocked on my door, and asked to speak to me”. based on the popping sound fiverr makes, it does make more sense. i would argue that getting annoyed by this is like getting annoying by amaricans who say “let me axe you a question”, like they’ve been watching too much futurama. i like it myself

personally i really don’t like gender specific terms and have particular grievance with “sir” and “madam”. “bro” and “dude” are extremely informal, and traditionally male with bro being short for brother, that being said my sister has always used “dude” for all genders. i think it’s progressing and i approve

“my friend” is just a cultural thing, no different to someone from japan calling me “tiako-san”. it’s also something i use in supermarkets, when ordering pizza and that sort of thing, along with “cheers mate”. the word mate does technically mean intimate partner (or spouse), but it’s pretty much never used in that context outside of furry forums, where it’s a reference to animals mating. most of the time it’s either an informal “friend”, or nothing, and that’s how it’s widely understood

i’m sure this kind of thing works both ways, in short, i think in curtain situations it matters, but i those situations you wouldn’t do it

[youssefoukhouya]

Thank you for the valuable informations ❤️

[junaidiqbal178]

then what is the proper word to be used? 😄

[janeeditor]

then what is the proper word to be used? 😄

Don’t call them anything at all, or if they have given you their name, just address them by that.

[deivys20071]

haha I have many clients who tell me “hey bro wasup lets do some work” and I reply “yeah lets do it broooo!” xd

[sanaaliabbasi]

haha I have many clients who tell me “hey bro wasup lets do some work” and I reply “yeah lets do it broooo!” xd

@deivys20071 hahaha I liked that! It develops a pretty friendly atmosphere between seller and buyer.

[benedictrm]

haha I have many clients who tell me “hey bro wasup lets do some work” and I reply “yeah lets do it broooo!” xd

hey bro wasup lets do some work

That is great assuming that the person you are dealing with is 13. When I see that it is a massive red flag that this person will be a total tool. They will think they is the coolest person eva - and probably keep telling me that as they refuse to do any of the things needed to get their song to the point where it is remotely releasable, all for $15 (for what should be 8 hours of work but will drag out to 25 hours as they never learn their part).

I have never managed to work successfully with anyone who started their whole conversation with “so”. Or keeps interjecting hehe.

Maybe it is a good thing too when people call me Sir, Dear, Bro in an attempt to appear closer to me than they really are as it says to me that they are not entirely honest or honorable, have poor boundaries, and probably even poor sense of truth and honor.

Maybe it is a good thing then that people talk these ways as it shows who they really are. Perhaps I was wrong to say that people should not. Maybe they should be really open as to who they are and how they will behave when 💩 gets real.

Maybe people who do these things get on real well with each other. Maybe users of these ways are as put off my me and my propensity for precision, punctuation, and predilection for purple prose.

😉

[imagination7413]

There is the service type being offered to take into consideration, I will admit. Casual chatter for a casual service, like everything in the (playing) gaming categories. Cartooning maybe a bit, depending on the specific job.

Though, that’s kind of the point: read the atmosphere. I figure… treat it like a dress code. Business casual looks very different from CEO meeting, looks different from fast food uniform, looks different from YouTuber in their own merch.

A gig (or profile) can help set this tone. Professional gig, business casual, don’t use ‘bro’.

[enunciator]

“Dude” personally doesn’t really bother me. That might be due to living in California, having long hair, and looking like the stereotypical person that is addressed as a “dude.”

Is it proper while conducting business? Absolutely not, but with part of my target audience being young males wanting someone to say funny stuff, it’s sort of expected.

[psykkopatte]

“Dude” personally doesn’t really bother me. That might be due to living in California, having long hair, and looking like the stereotypical person that is addressed as a “dude.”

Is it proper while conducting business? Absolutely not, but with part of my target audience being young males wanting someone to say funny stuff, it’s sort of expected.

I don’t like this term, I feel it’s not appropriate to business universe when we don’t know each others, last time someone called me “dude” in fiverr website, it was from the worst buyer I’ve ever got :rofl:

[melanielm]

Somone addressed me as “dude bro” once. Don’t do that.

[wdshahdat_20]

Hi,
Your information is Valuable, I will follow your info
Thanks!
Fiverr community forum 😍

[sumon75294]

Thank you so much for your Advice