Buyer wants to cancel because i called her sir

[efiayeboaa]

A buyer ordered without contacting and did not provide any instructions. I requested instructions and called her sir because I didn’t know her gender and now she says she wants to cancel, which I know will really affect me badly. What do I do?

[vickiespencer]

A buyer ordered without contacting and did not provide any instructions. I requested instructions and called her sir because I didn’t know her gender and now she says she wants to cancel, which I know will really affect me badly. What do I do?

What do I do?

From now on call your buyers by their user name.

[enunciator]

An overreaction to be sure, but I don’t think I’ve ever brought up gender-specific language when speaking to a buyer.

Best bet would be cancelling the order, as the buyer already seems displeased and is a bit of a scattershot as they didn’t provide any instructions.

Make sure to revise your order requirements page so that every pertinent question is mandatory and be thorough in what you ask so that you can finish an order even if the buyer never communicates with you.

[psykkopatte]

What a situation :rofl:
Sorry, I mean, just a “hello” is enough

[looseink]

Yah.

Cancel.

And in the future, don’t make a gender reference.

I HATE it when newbies here call me dear.

Call me by my user name or don’t say anything.

[efiayeboaa]

An overreaction to be sure, but I don’t think I’ve ever brought up gender-specific language when speaking to a buyer.

Best bet would be cancelling the order, as the buyer already seems displeased and is a bit of a scattershot as they didn’t provide any instructions.

Make sure to revise your order requirements page so that every pertinent question is mandatory and be thorough in what you ask so that you can finish an order even if the buyer never communicates with you.

Thank you so much. I really appreciate this

[psykkopatte]

Yah.

Cancel.

And in the future, don’t make a gender reference.

I HATE it when newbies here call me dear.

Call me by my user name or don’t say anything.

I don’t really mind about it.

My sugar ladies call me “dear” because they like my work and we work in long term, I see this like a friendly hello :rofl:

[donnovan86]

I’ve been called dear, sir, dear sir, dude, buddy so many times… I lost count.

[looseink]

I don’t really mind about it.

My sugar ladies call me “dear” because they like my work and we work in long term, I see this like a friendly hello :rofl:

I was referencing certain male newbies who I doubt have a good command of the English language.

But I get where you’re coming from on this.

In your case I agree, a friendly hello it would be!

[psykkopatte]

I was referencing certain male newbies who I doubt have a good command of the English language.

But I get where you’re coming from on this.

In your case I agree, a friendly hello it would be!

Ooooh okay, yes the… typical profile of buyers that we know :rofl:

[vickiespencer]

Yah.

Cancel.

And in the future, don’t make a gender reference.

I HATE it when newbies here call me dear.

Call me by my user name or don’t say anything.

Call me by my user name or don’t say anything.

Yes, dear, I will remember that. 😉

[atebha]

sounds like a red flag if they didn’t submit requirements and are over reacting. Bail while you can.

[benedictrm]

Yah.

Cancel.

And in the future, don’t make a gender reference.

I HATE it when newbies here call me dear.

Call me by my user name or don’t say anything.

I HATE it when newbies here call me dear.

Oh come on sweetie, don’t be such a boor. Grab a G&T and come back to… LOL

I too find it very creepy when called, Sir, Mister, Dear, Bro, Dude, Mate, etc by people I have no relationship with. Same with people who insist on shortening my name when I give it. This is a place of business and using faux intimacies to try to make me feel indebted is just manipulative.

If it was only a misgender, esp if their gender was not clear in the first place, then probably best to let them go as there is more scary in that one.

However, best not to call anyone other than what they have called themselves - I used to have a friend who likes to be addressed as The Lady Grey. I had no difficulties calling him that so we got on well.

🙂

[zeus777]

Dang, OK, I mean, I get it, every time someone called me “dear,”
I cringe for several seconds. When people call me “bro,” I cringe as well.
If my regulars says something like “Hi buddy,” I’m OK.

It does make me cringe when I get the “dear” greeting, but I won’t get upset to a point
where I will cancel the order, so I do believe this person overreacted…but again, maybe the person
was genuinely hurt, who knows. 😅

[gfxtariqul7]

Canceling will be best for this case. We never make a gender reference in Fiverr; Please remember that. Don’t worry; you will have a lot of work. Best of luck

[lloydsolutions]

A buyer ordered without contacting and did not provide any instructions. I requested instructions and called her sir because I didn’t know her gender and now she says she wants to cancel, which I know will really affect me badly. What do I do?

called her sir because I didn’t know her gender

Check this out: Want More Sales? .... No Sir!

[anniejenkinson]

I HATE it when newbies here call me dear.

Oh come on sweetie, don’t be such a boor. Grab a G&T and come back to… LOL

I too find it very creepy when called, Sir, Mister, Dear, Bro, Dude, Mate, etc by people I have no relationship with. Same with people who insist on shortening my name when I give it. This is a place of business and using faux intimacies to try to make me feel indebted is just manipulative.

If it was only a misgender, esp if their gender was not clear in the first place, then probably best to let them go as there is more scary in that one.

However, best not to call anyone other than what they have called themselves - I used to have a friend who likes to be addressed as The Lady Grey. I had no difficulties calling him that so we got on well.

🙂

For some reason, that reminded me I adopted a kitten (Persian fluffball) that was already called Lady Hamilton. Only when I woke one morning to find ‘her’ doing unmentionable things to my forearm did I think about the name in more depth.

Anyway, I changed the name to Mr P and he/she was never offended. Or maybe didn’t tell me. Either way, Lady Hamilton continued doing the unmentionables.

[hmmirazulislam]

A buyer ordered without contacting and did not provide any instructions. I requested instructions and called her sir because I didn’t know her gender and now she says she wants to cancel, which I know will really affect me badly. What do I do?

What do I do?

You can ask this question at the beginning of the conversations

What can I call you that will benefit our work and our relationship will be friendly and lasting?

[shibiyas]

Yah.

Cancel.

And in the future, don’t make a gender reference.

I HATE it when newbies here call me dear.

Call me by my user name or don’t say anything.

Exactly! I used to call buyers by their username. That’s better.

[zfjharna]

I think you may cancel the order and its a learning for you to go long.

[catwriter]

A buyer ordered without contacting and did not provide any instructions. I requested instructions and called her sir because I didn’t know her gender and now she says she wants to cancel, which I know will really affect me badly. What do I do?

now she says she wants to cancel, which I know will really affect me badly.

A bad review would affect you worse, and that’s what you could get by insisting to work with a buyer who obviously no longer wants to work with you.

Or the buyer could report you to Customer Support for refusing to cancel. That would be bad for you, too.

What do I do?

Accept to cancel. And for future reference, never assume someone’s gender. When you call a woman “Sir”, she might think that you’re assuming a woman can’t be a business owner, and be offended by that (plus some people really hate being misgendered).

[enunciator]

What do I do?

You can ask this question at the beginning of the conversations

What can I call you that will benefit our work and our relationship will be friendly and lasting?

What can I call you that will benefit our work and our relationship will be friendly and lasting?

Ooof. That’s completely unnecessary and may be interpreted as being slightly odd or presumptuous.

Safest bet is to simply use their user name or structure your responses in a manner that gender specific nouns/pronouns aren’t necessary. Heck, I think the only pronoun I really use in responding to buyers is “you” and unless something recently changed, I think that is still considered an inoffensive and neutral word.

[paschalisblack]

Yah.

Cancel.

And in the future, don’t make a gender reference.

I HATE it when newbies here call me dear.

Call me by my user name or don’t say anything.

I’ve been called “bro” many times here on fiverr, so “dear” sounds very decent to me :rofl:

[paschalisblack]

I’ve been called dear, sir, dear sir, dude, buddy so many times… I lost count.

How about “bro”?! I have leterally lost count on how many times somebody here has called me “bro”.

[anniejenkinson]

What can I call you that will benefit our work and our relationship will be friendly and lasting?

Ooof. That’s completely unnecessary and may be interpreted as being slightly odd or presumptuous.

Safest bet is to simply use their user name or structure your responses in a manner that gender specific nouns/pronouns aren’t necessary. Heck, I think the only pronoun I really use in responding to buyers is “you” and unless something recently changed, I think that is still considered an inoffensive and neutral word.

Totally.

I was about to say the same. I would really not be happy if a seller or buyer asked what they should call me. They can write to me perfecty well without needing to create some kind of intimate relationship with me–and if they really feel a compulsion to use a name for some reason, they can refer to me by my username, in full.

On this platform, I see no need for anyone to get into names and as for “what can I call you that will benefit our work” (which someone said)–ugh, absolutely NOT.

Why would a name benefit the work, unless they plan to try and sweet-talk me into something, ha, like the guy who wrote asking me to marry him.