Explode this Buyer button

[ryangillam]

On the ‘resolution center’ could we please get a button called ‘Explode the Buyer’. The job of it is simple. When pressed it will trigger a piece of code which unleashes a small spark of electricity when the buyer logs into Fiverr. There are three versions of this button:



Level 1: Just a small electrical shock. Nothing too intense. Will only deliver a mildly painful shock whilst popping up "You were shocked by (insert seller name), please learn to be a better seller.



Level 2: If Level 1 fails then level 2 can be instigated after a pre-determined length of time. The shock delivered is slightly more intense. We are talking singed fingers here that need to be nursed back to health. Perhaps preventing computer use for a short period of time.



Top Rated Combustion: This is the final level. When buyers continue to ‘harass’ sellers, this option crops up. It will take 1 month to appear after level 2. This will allow the buyer to recover AND hopefully put themselves right. As you can probably guess from the name, this is all about complete obliteration. The gig is auto-marked complete on commencement of punishment so sellers still retain the money they worked hard for.



In order to prevent misuse, the button can only be used in these circumstances:

• Orders over $100
  
• Where the Buyer has rejected the order over 10 times with a changing specification each time which results in the buyer getting almost triple the value that they ordered (let’s say they ordered 50,000 words, they then end up with over 400,000 because they keep forgetting to include key little bits of data but you obviously can’t cancel the order due to the amount of work that you put into it)
  
• When the buyer uses a certain amount of profanities for lateness because you can’t quite deliver, say, 50,000 new words within a 12 hour time frame.
  
  
  
  Pros:
  
  
  
  Eradication of the ‘bad’ buyers on this site who demand the earth.
  
  Reduces strain on the Customer Support Team.
  
  Creates jobs in the funeral home industry. (there are quite a few bad buyers out there. Fiverr could perhaps spin this feature as helping the economy?)
  
  I still get my money for gigs that I spent a lot of time on.
  
  
  
  Cons:
  
  
  
  I fail to see any. Perhaps it would take a little bit of coding time away from introducing strange features such as additional ways to rate sellers, or ‘randomized’ highest rated seller lists. Death is always a pretty big issue, but most people will only get mildly singed…if anything. Run the fingers under a tap for a short while and you will be right as rain!
  
  
  
  Or, failing this idea, perhaps a bit of code which will actually allow customer service agents to, you know, force complete an order? The first method is slightly better though. Will weed out some buyers!
  
  
  
  (this will most likely get deleted, sadly)