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Worse Messages Ever Recieved


silberma1976
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I didnt think you would tell anyone!

I despise:

  • being asked for samples
  • revisions without specific issues (It doesnt sound right, can you make it better etc)
  • can you do x, y or z when my specific service is exactly that. (not can you do this within a certain time or whatever; just Can you proofread this? and similar
  • any unrealistic expectations such as Can you rank me on page 1 of Google. I will pay an extra $5 if you can do it by tomorrow Actual request I received from a lawyer in New York, where CPC is around $50 and is some of the most competitive online real estate in the world.
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“Hi”: usually a sign of trouble.

“Are you female?”: Uh oh…

And then there was one wonderful client who told me, after six minutes of me not responding to his previous message, that he would “not be waiting for my response any longer”. Yes, because everyone on Fiverr is constantly checking the app and/or has their laptop open every single moment of the day.

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I didnt think you would tell anyone!

I despise:

  • being asked for samples
  • revisions without specific issues (It doesnt sound right, can you make it better etc)
  • can you do x, y or z when my specific service is exactly that. (not can you do this within a certain time or whatever; just Can you proofread this? and similar
  • any unrealistic expectations such as Can you rank me on page 1 of Google. I will pay an extra $5 if you can do it by tomorrow Actual request I received from a lawyer in New York, where CPC is around $50 and is some of the most competitive online real estate in the world.

Can you rank me on page 1 of Google.

that is my inbox

can you rank me on page one

can you rank me on page one by next week. its urgent.

I need to get 5000 visitors a day to my new site by the end of the month.

(AKA a ghost town)

I want a site built like facebook. can you do it.

I have an idea for site. buying and selling items (yeah erm thats Ebay)

Can you teach me seo. I will pay you $10 to teach me

can you do this gig for me for free. Im broke. I will really appreciate it.

and this one.Oh lord what did I do to deserve this.

buyer: Can you sign up for some dating sites for me.

me: what do you want me to sign up for dating sites for you for? I do not have gigs related to that and why don’t you sign up yourself?

Buyer: I need someone to create profiles for me. can you do that?

Me; If I do that it will be my profile not yours and I am not cyrano de Bergerac

(at this point I should have said goodbye)

Buyer: can you do it please and then chat with them.

me: chat with who?

buyer: chat with people who visit the profile and then make arrangements

me: huh! sorry . cannot help you. Goodbye.

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Can you rank me on page 1 of Google.

that is my inbox

can you rank me on page one

can you rank me on page one by next week. its urgent.

I need to get 5000 visitors a day to my new site by the end of the month.

(AKA a ghost town)

I want a site built like facebook. can you do it.

I have an idea for site. buying and selling items (yeah erm thats Ebay)

Can you teach me seo. I will pay you $10 to teach me

can you do this gig for me for free. Im broke. I will really appreciate it.

and this one.Oh lord what did I do to deserve this.

buyer: Can you sign up for some dating sites for me.

me: what do you want me to sign up for dating sites for you for? I do not have gigs related to that and why don’t you sign up yourself?

Buyer: I need someone to create profiles for me. can you do that?

Me; If I do that it will be my profile not yours and I am not cyrano de Bergerac

(at this point I should have said goodbye)

Buyer: can you do it please and then chat with them.

me: chat with who?

buyer: chat with people who visit the profile and then make arrangements

me: huh! sorry . cannot help you. Goodbye.

I cant believe I forgot this one -

Can you do SEO and get me sales and I will give you 10% of all revenue. If you are good at SEO then you will make lots of money this way.

This person usually has a rubbish templated site they bought from Flippa for $25 or else stole from somewhere with nothing original. Some even go up as high as 50%.

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I cant believe I forgot this one -

Can you do SEO and get me sales and I will give you 10% of all revenue. If you are good at SEO then you will make lots of money this way.

This person usually has a rubbish templated site they bought from Flippa for $25 or else stole from somewhere with nothing original. Some even go up as high as 50%.

Yes, i get loads of those under “Do you do revenue sharing” its like an MLM scheme for SEO!

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Mine will be "Can you create me a landing page for $5? If I i’m satisfied, I’ll tip."
I was like: Meh, no thanks. He came back to me tho with a better offer! He raised it to $10 and if he was satisfied, he will tip…but I also said no.

Another message was someone who wanted a fully functional responsive website with written content, ranking number one on Google, Premium images, unlimited revisions, a 12 bedroom house & a brand new Ferrari for just $5 & if satisfied, he’ll tip more, he promise. Great deal!

(Okay he didn’t really request a 12 bedroom house & a Ferrari. But if he had the choice, he surely would. 😑)

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“Can you do a top****, pucker up face photo”

And me being a person who hardly takes photos… happily refused…

“Can you do a top****, pucker up face photo”

And me being a person who hardly takes photos… happily refused…

Refer em to me, I’ll do it and split the $$ with ya as a referral.

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“Can you do a top****, pucker up face photo”

And me being a person who hardly takes photos… happily refused…

Refer em to me, I’ll do it and split the $$ with ya as a referral.

good idea… next time I will 🙂

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My 2 that I despise are the “can you do this as a gift”? and the “give me lots of work for free and I will give you mass orders in future”!

This combined both. This is after he asked for 5000 words for $5. I told him no thanks, but he persisted. So I sent him a customer offer of $50.

2018-03-09_10-02-39.jpg.2351c66deeebcebd5b0397119ef08321.jpg
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