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Youtube Psychology: Just how Sick in the Head are You?


cyaxrex

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Before I start, I am claiming complete intellectual property rights from this moment onwards over what I am calling ‘Youtube Psychology.’

In short, Youtube Psychology is a new science whereby I analyze peoples Youtube watching habits and pass verdict on how messed up (or fully compos mentis) a person is.

Watch a lot of videos about how to do CPR on passed out unicorns? Your living in a dream world! Unicorns don’t exist and the reality is that you are probably sitting in a darkened room right now by the mummified corpse of a postman you invited in for a cup of tea six years ago.

See, I’m a real Youtube Psychology genius.

Now, to make things fair, I have been watching a lot of you tube videos recently about:

  • A man who systematically opens antique army ration packs and eats the contents
  • Re-runs of a 1990’s UK comedy series called ‘The News Today’
  • Re-runs of various early 2000’s comedy sketch shows by two comedians called Mitchel & Webb
  • The upcoming new Star Trek series
  • How to make puff/flaky pasty with pea flour and no form of animal fat or hydrogenated vegetarian/vegan fat alternatives
  • How to get rid of mice without killing or injuring them

The verdict on my psychological character? I am completely normal.

Now. Dare you share details of your recent Youtube viewing habits? If so, the doctor will see you now.

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I have never heard of how I can get rid of mice without killing or injuring them. Well,

My recent Youtube viewing habits is Gold digger pranks.

I too have watched a lot of gold digger pranks. This being the case, well done, you are completely normal!

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Hmm, do I sense a pattern here among the approved channels? Ah, probably just my imagination.

As a world-ruining millennial, I spend way too much time on YouTube. My mainstays are either sarcastic comedy channels (e.g. Cinemasins, Jacksfilms, Honest Trailers) or “the-more-you-know”/general educational channels (e.g. Crash Course, Nerdwriter). My watching history is me catching up on my subscriptions for both of those. Does this mean I’m a psychopath, or just basic? :0

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Before I start, I am claiming complete intellectual property rights from this moment onwards over what I am calling ‘Youtube Psychology.’

In short, Youtube Psychology is a new science whereby I analyze peoples Youtube watching habits and pass verdict on how messed up (or fully compos mentis) a person is.

Watch a lot of videos about how to do CPR on passed out unicorns? Your living in a dream world! Unicorns don’t exist and the reality is that you are probably sitting in a darkened room right now by the mummified corpse of a postman you invited in for a cup of tea six years ago.

See, I’m a real Youtube Psychology genius.

Now, to make things fair, I have been watching a lot of you tube videos recently about:

  • A man who systematically opens antique army ration packs and eats the contents
  • Re-runs of a 1990’s UK comedy series called ‘The News Today’
  • Re-runs of various early 2000’s comedy sketch shows by two comedians called Mitchel & Webb
  • The upcoming new Star Trek series
  • How to make puff/flaky pasty with pea flour and no form of animal fat or hydrogenated vegetarian/vegan fat alternatives
  • How to get rid of mice without killing or injuring them

The verdict on my psychological character? I am completely normal.

Now. Dare you share details of your recent Youtube viewing habits? If so, the doctor will see you now.

I’ll play! Try this case:

  • Good Mythical Morning +
  • The Great British Bake Off +
  • The Red Green Show +
  • Every Metallica concert ever filmed =

How to get rid of mice without killing or injuring them

Petco hamster condo. Take them in, train them, send them to wreak havoc at Fiverr HQ and have them rewrite the algorithm in your favor.

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Before I start, I am claiming complete intellectual property rights from this moment onwards over what I am calling ‘Youtube Psychology.’

In short, Youtube Psychology is a new science whereby I analyze peoples Youtube watching habits and pass verdict on how messed up (or fully compos mentis) a person is.

Watch a lot of videos about how to do CPR on passed out unicorns? Your living in a dream world! Unicorns don’t exist and the reality is that you are probably sitting in a darkened room right now by the mummified corpse of a postman you invited in for a cup of tea six years ago.

See, I’m a real Youtube Psychology genius.

Now, to make things fair, I have been watching a lot of you tube videos recently about:

  • A man who systematically opens antique army ration packs and eats the contents
  • Re-runs of a 1990’s UK comedy series called ‘The News Today’
  • Re-runs of various early 2000’s comedy sketch shows by two comedians called Mitchel & Webb
  • The upcoming new Star Trek series
  • How to make puff/flaky pasty with pea flour and no form of animal fat or hydrogenated vegetarian/vegan fat alternatives
  • How to get rid of mice without killing or injuring them

The verdict on my psychological character? I am completely normal.

Now. Dare you share details of your recent Youtube viewing habits? If so, the doctor will see you now.

Mitchel & Webb

That’s NUMBERWANG!

Also, as a vegan, I approve of several of your other YouTube viewing habits 🙂

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I’ll play! Try this case:

  • Good Mythical Morning +
  • The Great British Bake Off +
  • The Red Green Show +
  • Every Metallica concert ever filmed =

How to get rid of mice without killing or injuring them

Petco hamster condo. Take them in, train them, send them to wreak havoc at Fiverr HQ and have them rewrite the algorithm in your favor.

The Great British Bake Off +

This immediately qualifies you as a woman of taste. As a Brit living in the US, the only reason I got a VPN service was so I could watch TGBBO - I am going to miss Mel and Sue.

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Hmm, do I sense a pattern here among the approved channels? Ah, probably just my imagination.

As a world-ruining millennial, I spend way too much time on YouTube. My mainstays are either sarcastic comedy channels (e.g. Cinemasins, Jacksfilms, Honest Trailers) or “the-more-you-know”/general educational channels (e.g. Crash Course, Nerdwriter). My watching history is me catching up on my subscriptions for both of those. Does this mean I’m a psychopath, or just basic? :0

I’m very sorry @somaginer1996 but I’m afraid that you display all the classic signs of millennial-a-mania.

This is a very common malady which mainly affects people born around the millennium who watch Youtube. Since you have admitted falling into both diagnostic categories, I would suggest you have a cold bath and try very hard for one week to be reborn in 1989.

Your condition is not life threatening, however, millennial populations themselves are well known to have not lived past the age of 40! -

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Guest lloydsolutions

If you didn’t find a successful method to get rid of mice without killing them I can give you one that definitely works!

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I’m very sorry @somaginer1996 but I’m afraid that you display all the classic signs of millennial-a-mania.

This is a very common malady which mainly affects people born around the millennium who watch Youtube. Since you have admitted falling into both diagnostic categories, I would suggest you have a cold bath and try very hard for one week to be reborn in 1989.

Your condition is not life threatening, however, millennial populations themselves are well known to have not lived past the age of 40! -

@cyaxrex Woe is me! I tremble at this diagnosis. I suppose the only way I can cut back on the sorrow in my heart right now is to vlog about it or something. Ah, the curse of millennials.

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I’ll play! Try this case:

  • Good Mythical Morning +
  • The Great British Bake Off +
  • The Red Green Show +
  • Every Metallica concert ever filmed =

How to get rid of mice without killing or injuring them

Petco hamster condo. Take them in, train them, send them to wreak havoc at Fiverr HQ and have them rewrite the algorithm in your favor.

Finally, a completely sane patient!

There is nothing wrong with you according to your viewing habits. However, for the sake of psychic nutritional balance, I would recommend supplementing excessive live Metalica concert exposure with live Volbeat concert exposure. I would recommend the following:

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This may have something to do with the algorithm change but I have been watching videos such as:

how to live in your car by taking out the seats and installing a bed and commode.

I have long been watching videos about living on a canal boat in the UK. Maybe expand your horizons by thinking about boat living rather than car living. It’s much safer and rewarding in a natural sense.

Verdict: Completely normal

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Mitchel & Webb

That’s NUMBERWANG!

Also, as a vegan, I approve of several of your other YouTube viewing habits 🙂

You are quite right @paulmaplesden, that was Numberwag. Sad as I am to admit it with you being my arch nemesis Pro seller, you are a completely normal human.

As for the mice, Being nice isn’t always good. I started off with one and tried to find a way to kick it out humanely. Now I have several and it is just two weeks later… If only mice could be encouraged once a week to play Numberwang somewhere else other than my kitchen…

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Guest lloydsolutions

I had some mice in a cupboard and after much research I discovered that they absolutely hate peppermint oil. I got some and put a few drops in the cupboard. The next day they had gone and haven’t been seen or heard since. That was 3 years ago!
A painless exit! 🙂

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@cyaxrex Woe is me! I tremble at this diagnosis. I suppose the only way I can cut back on the sorrow in my heart right now is to vlog about it or something. Ah, the curse of millennials.

I’m sorry, but by vlogging about your sorrow, you would be going completely against my now very well supported advice to try and be reborn in 1989. Please don’t try to find a way around a certified Youtube medical diagnosis. If you are not even going to try and be reborn in the 1980’s I’m afraid that I can’t help.

Surrounding yourself with things from the 1980’s like Duran Duran and Anne Lenox might help. Really though you need to be asking what you can you do for Anne Lenox, not what can Anne Lenox can do for you.

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I’m sorry, but by vlogging about your sorrow, you would be going completely against my now very well supported advice to try and be reborn in 1989. Please don’t try to find a way around a certified Youtube medical diagnosis. If you are not even going to try and be reborn in the 1980’s I’m afraid that I can’t help.

Surrounding yourself with things from the 1980’s like Duran Duran and Anne Lenox might help. Really though you need to be asking what you can you do for Anne Lenox, not what can Anne Lenox can do for you.

I suppose you’re right. Thank you, doctor, for saving my life!

I guess it’s time to go to the eighties, a time before my time. I shudder to think what will become of me, but I will stay strong. Pray for me…

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  • Gordon Ramsey shouting at various small business owners also known as Kitchen Nightmares
  • A variety of videos of footballers from the late 90’s
  • Try not to laugh videos
  • Various idiotic “funny” Youtubers so I can keep track of what my daughter is watching
  • Various rappers nobody has heard of so I can keep track of what my son is watching/listening to

The only way Numberwang could be any more quintessentially English humour (with a u) would be if the Queen and David Beckham were being chased through various doors by a guy in a gorilla suit before turning the tables and chasing him. Incidentally, Beckham would be in the middle both times.

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I’ll regret this later; but my YouTube viewing habits are:

  1. Watching people get hurt doing stupid things
  2. Watching cute animal videos
  3. Watching a clip from “How Its Made” while eating the product they’re making (the hot dog episode was traumatizing).
  4. Watching annoying vloggers and keeping a mental track of how many times they say “I live for this”

Whats the prognosis doc?

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  • Gordon Ramsey shouting at various small business owners also known as Kitchen Nightmares
  • A variety of videos of footballers from the late 90’s
  • Try not to laugh videos
  • Various idiotic “funny” Youtubers so I can keep track of what my daughter is watching
  • Various rappers nobody has heard of so I can keep track of what my son is watching/listening to

The only way Numberwang could be any more quintessentially English humour (with a u) would be if the Queen and David Beckham were being chased through various doors by a guy in a gorilla suit before turning the tables and chasing him. Incidentally, Beckham would be in the middle both times.

What are you?!

Gordan places two slices of bread in-between a womans head

“An Idiot Sandwich”

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  • Gordon Ramsey shouting at various small business owners also known as Kitchen Nightmares
  • A variety of videos of footballers from the late 90’s
  • Try not to laugh videos
  • Various idiotic “funny” Youtubers so I can keep track of what my daughter is watching
  • Various rappers nobody has heard of so I can keep track of what my son is watching/listening to

The only way Numberwang could be any more quintessentially English humour (with a u) would be if the Queen and David Beckham were being chased through various doors by a guy in a gorilla suit before turning the tables and chasing him. Incidentally, Beckham would be in the middle both times.

So, The Benny Hill Show then?

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